


Lies and Truths

by JustSomeGirlll



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Cannon-ish, F/F, First Kiss, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Happy Ending, Identity Reveal, Lena Luthor Finds Out Kara Danvers is Supergirl, Post Season 3, Slow Burn, Slow Burn Kara Danvers/Lena Luthor, Supercorp endgame, also the angst isn't that intense, but there are a few angsty chapters
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-05
Updated: 2018-11-26
Packaged: 2019-07-07 06:23:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 18
Words: 47,895
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15902652
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JustSomeGirlll/pseuds/JustSomeGirlll
Summary: Set a month after the final showdown with Reign, Kara must learn to deal with the things she said and did - both good and bad. She betrayed Lena, there's no doubt about that, but when something forces Kara to reconsider her feelings for her friend, what does she have to do?It's always best, to tell the truth, no matter what, but what do you do when you know that the truth is going to hurt? Do you tell the truth, hurting everyone involved? Or do you lie, sparing your friend's feelings and suffer in silence?





	1. The Lies I Tell

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A quick note before you start reading, this story will be ignoring things that happened at the end of season 3. I'm just going to pretend that Winn never left, Lena didn't keep the Harun-el and that a clone of Kara wasn't found in Russia.
> 
> Enjoy :)

Pain.

It comes in varying types and levels, but regardless of this, it's still pain.

Pain hurts. Hence why it's called pain, but Kara has no threshold for pain, so it _really_ hurts. Sure, she's experienced pain before, but it's always been dulled by her powers; or, in the rare instances when she didn't have her powers, the pain would never be anything she couldn't handle. Yes, a broken arm certainly hurts, but it's nothing as bad as being thrown off of a skyscraper after you've just been beaten to a pummel.

That is pain: undeniable and irrefutable pain.

"You're no god just as I am no devil. All I am is truth and judgement." Being picked up like some rag doll was new to Kara. It gave her feelings of helplessness, similar to how she felt when she left Krypton only to get trapped in the Phantom Zone for all those years. "And death. And I will reign."

Falling. It was a new sensation to Kara. It's not as though she hasn't fallen before, because she has. She jumped off the CatCo roof to prove to Winn she was the girl who saved the plane. She was falling then, almost like how she was falling now. But it was different then. Then she had her powers; she hadn't just been beaten to an inch of her life; and most importantly, she had hope. She was so full of hope. Hope that the future would bring good things and hope that she would always be able to help. So full of hope.

But not now. She still had her powers, thank god, but she may as well have been powerless. Because free falling through the chilly December sky, watching as the cities lights flicker by as you get closer to the ground, is a terrifying experience when you're too weak to stop yourself from falling, or at the very least move.

All that's left to do is watch and wait. Watch as the lights fly by and wait as you get closer, and closer to the ground…

Kara woke up before she could finish the dream. Bolting up into a seated position, the blankets pushed towards the foot of the bed from her thrashing throughout the night. If it weren't for the fact the Kryptonians were incapable of sweating, Kara's fairly certain she would have a sheen of sweat along her forehead.

She sat in her bed for a moment longer, hand on her chest, trying to calm her racing heart.

"Breathe in," she breathed in, holding for three seconds, "breath out," Kara repeated this a couple more times until she could feel her heart rate decreasing.

She'd been having these dreams for a while now. They started a little bit after Reign had been defeated, the only reason they hadn't started sooner likely due to her being too preoccupied with _defeating_ Reign.

Normally when she woke up in a state of panic, Kara would call Alex or just fly over to her apartment, and they'd spend the rest of the night together, never really talking, just sitting side-by-side. It gave Kara a sense of comfort to do this. It reassured her to know that the people she held dearest to her were alright.

However, she had been trying to hold back on doing this. Alex and Maggie were engaged now, had been for some time, but they hadn't gotten the chance to fully enjoy being engaged before the whole Reign fiasco was thrust upon them. Even though Alex had said that she doesn't mind and that Maggie understands, Kara still didn't feel right about interrupting their evenings/early mornings: just because she was slightly distressed doesn't mean that her sister needs to be burdened with that.

Deciding that a glass of cold, refreshing water is what she needed, Kara swung her legs over the side of her bed and got up, first making her way to the bathroom so she could splash some water on her face.

Standing in her kitchen, looking out at her apartment with a glass of water in hand, Kara couldn't help but notice the moon slightly trickling in, giving the room a slightly ominous vibe. The harsh moonlight was taking the colour and cheeriness away from her outlandish and eccentric furnishings: everything just felt… dull and it wasn't doing anything to make her feel better.

Kara looked at the half empty glass of water in hand and decided that a simple glass of water alone was not going to fix her problems or make her feel better.

Setting the glass down on the countertop, Kara quickly walked over to where she kept her suit when she wasn't wearing it - an inconspicuous box in the corner of her room.

She quickly suited up, opened the window she used for speedy exists, and flew out of her apartment and off into the night sky.

It was one of those quiet nights in National City. One where there were no emergencies that required her attention. It was these nights that relaxed Kara but also made her feel most alone.

She was thankful that no one was in danger, but it also reminded her just how alone she truly was when no one needed her help. It sounds self-centered to say, especially considering she _does_ have people in her life, so she isn't really alone. But not being needed just had a way of reminding Kara how utterly alone she could be.

One day all the people she holds closest to her will die, and when that time comes, no doubt Kara Danvers will be dead, and all she'll have is Supergirl. And when Supergirl isn't needed, she will feel completely and utterly alone.

Kara found herself unconsciously flying to the CatCo WorldWide Media building. She found that sitting at the highest point of the building was oddly therapeutic and provided a sense of perspective.

Flying higher and higher, Kara made her way to the highest point of the building and sat at the very edge, dangling her feet over the edge and watching National City at night.

Even when she was this far up, Kara could still see the cars on the road and the late night stragglers making their way home. Kara smiled at the simplicity of it all; of everyone going about their normal lives as though the city, no, the world, hadn't just been threatened.

Then she started to feel a bit annoyed by it all. The world had just been threatened, _how can everyone return to their normal lives as the though the world hadn't just been threatened?_

Kara saw where her mind was trying to take her and quickly put a stop to it. She knew it was healthy to express her emotions, even if they may be negative, but she'd rather not become agitated tonight, she'd rather just enjoy the peace and quiet that comes from being this far above the city.

She closed her eyes and breathed in, enjoying the fresh air that comes with being this far above all the fumes. She drowned out all the sounds she could still hear; having super hearing wasn't always great, occasionally it felt more like a curse than anything.

Kara continued to take deep breathes and drowning out the city sounds, focusing on one sound that she found relaxed her in even the direst circumstances: Lena's heartbeat.

Kara knew Lena was unhappy with her, actually, she was more angered than unhappy; and it wasn't actually at Kara, it was Supergirl. In spite of this, Kara still found great comfort in Lena's heartbeat: it was constant and consistent, unlike a lot of other things in Kara's life right now.

She knew Lena was angry at Supergirl, and truthfully, Kara couldn't blame her. Kara knew she'd messed up and that she shouldn't have done what she did, and she knows it's no excuse, but when kryptonite is involved, all sense of rational thought seems to leave Kara, leaving behind a deeply embedded distrust of people.

And the worst part about the whole situation was that Kara knew Lena had trust issues but she still went behind her back and questioned her character, and Kara had no idea how to come back from that if she even could come back.

_Do I even deserve a second chance though? Lena's angry at me, and rightfully so. I did that on my own volition, so why should she give me a second chance?_

That was pain too. It was a different type of pain from her battle with Reign. It was an emotional pain this time. Because what if Lena didn't forgive her? What if they were never able to come back from her wrongdoings? Would she continue lying to her face as Kara Danvers or would she tell Lena one of her biggest secrets and ruin another relationship, leaving Lena without one of her closest friends?

Kara isn't sure who it would hurt more, herself or Lena. She let out an exasperated sigh, leaning back so her feet were still dangling over the edge but so she was lying on her back looking up into the night sky. She focussed on Lena's heartbeat again, glad to hear that it was low and steady, indicating that she was asleep. Kara knew that Lena had trouble sleeping, so she was happy that her friend had found a way to get some sleep.

When her eyes started to become noticeably heavy Kara realised just how tired she was, and decided that it would be best if she went back home to try and get some more sleep before she had to get up for work.

She did one last lap around the city, making sure she hadn't missed anything, and when she was satisfied she returned home, feeling exhausted but nowhere near as glum as she had when she left. Despite how tired she really was, Kara opted to change out of her suit because it really is uncomfortable to sleep in, but instead of putting it away in its box she left the various pieces of her suit scattered around her apartment: carelessly discarded as she walked to her bed.

She pulled on a pair of long flannel pyjama pants and comfortable, oversized sleep shirt - that she's fairly certain belonged to Lena at one point - and crawled into bed, bringing the blankets halfway up her body.

As Kara laid on her side, she watched the moon and building across the street out her open window as she gradually fell into a dreamless sleep.

 

* * *

 

Getting out of bed wasn't exactly the easiest thing to do, not because of the previous night or some deep-rooted fear, but because, Kara is not, and has never been, a morning person. There's just something so unappealing about getting out of your warm cocoon of a bed so early in the morning. Kara just did not like it, even on Krypton, she didn't enjoy it. Much preferring to spend most of the morning in bed looking out over the expanse of Argo City bathed in Rao's red light.

But you have to get up, you can't just spend all day in bed, and that was the conclusion she made every single morning. Kara found that doing it quickly was the least painful way to do it - just like ripping off a band-aid. So, she threw the covers back and quickly swung her legs over the side of the bed and made for the bathroom to prepare for the day.

Once showered and refreshed, Kara stood in front of her rack of clothes, deciding on what she was going to wear for the day. In the end, she opted for a pair of dark blue slacks, a light blue sweater and black flats to tie the whole outfit together. She stood in front of her mirror once she'd tied her hair back and put her glasses on, and gave herself a once over and little nod of approval, before moving to the kitchen to get something quick for breakfast before she left.

She wound up having three bowls of cereal before she left, opting out of another bowl because she knew she'd grab something from Noonan's on her way over to CatCo.

Kara grabbed her coat, handbag and laptop before doing a quick scan of her apartment, checking for any forgotten items. Satisfied that she had everything, Kara walked out into the hallway and locked her door, promptly making her way downtown to CatCo.

Kara's commute was slightly more hectic than it had been previously; construction workers were fixing the damage caused by Reign, and more people were taking the subway or walking because of road closures.

The added stimuli wasn't exactly a welcomed changed to Kara. She'd gotten quite good at learning how to control her powers, particularly her hearing, but sometimes everything just became a bit much and she just needed to get away from it.

Deciding to just screw it, Kara ducked into a deserted alleyway and took off into the skies.

Flying was one of her favourite things about having powers. She would get to soar high above the buildings and freely move through the air and wind: it was exhilarating.

Seeing that she was fast approaching the CatCo building, Kara quickly located a nearby alleyway, landing as gracefully as she could so as to not cause any additional damage. She really did feel bad about the damage suffered to the city because of her fights with Reign, and she would continue to help when she could to clean everything up.

Kara loved walking up to the CatCo building almost as much as she loved sitting at the highest point of it on quiet nights. She always felt proud when she would walk through those doors, knowing that she was chosen to work for such an honourable and reliable media corporation.

The elevator ride up to her floor was stuffy, but it wasn't anything she wasn't used too. She had been doing this for quite some time now, but she still felt relieved when the elevator dinged and she was able to get off it.

Kara made her way to her desk, weaving around groups of people milling about and wishing people a 'good morning' and a 'nice to see you'. She felt saying hello to everyone she could and being as friendly as possible was one way she could make up for the fact that she's caused so much damage in the past few months; not that anyone knew it was her but it still made her feel better.

Kara dropped her bag onto the floor as she sat down in her chair, pulling out her computer before she shuffled her bag under her desk. She quickly checked her messages on her office phone, listening to the few that had come in over the weekend, and flipped through the papers that were sitting in a pile on her desk.

Once she'd checked through everything that needed to be looked at, Kara got up and promptly made her way to the bullpen where Snapper would handing out assignments in the next few minutes.

The meeting was normal by comparative standards: people voiced possible story ideas, Snapper approved some of them, Snapper ordered some people around and handed out some assignments to people. Fairly normal Monday morning meeting.

Kara was normally grateful for any assignment she got and would always put her all into a story no matter what. It was her duty as a reporter to report the news as honestly and truthfully as possible. However, the story she was assigned today did not make her feel grateful. Yes, she was grateful that she got a story, but she was unhappy with the story Snapper set her.

She could see where the story was coming from and why Snapper wanted someone to write it, but she felt horrible reading through her assignment. She was to investigate and report about the damage Supergirl was caused to the city in the recent months, specifically focusing on her most recent showdown with Reign.

She knew why she had to do it, but that didn't change the fact that she felt horrible having to write it. She was sorry and wished that she could take away the damage with the click of her fingers, and she was doing what she could to help rebuild, but it only went so far. And it's not as though she could explain to Snapper why she can't write the story, so she figured defending Supergirl would be the next best thing.

"Don't you think this is a bit unfair towards Supergirl?" Snapper looked at her with a death glare and the room fell silent. No one questioned Snapper, it just was not something you should ever do. Yet, here Kara was, questioning him.

"Excuse me?" He answered Kara's question as though he hadn't heard what Kara had just said, or as though he was giving her one chance to rethink her previous question.

"I just mean, Supergirl does a lot for our city, and I'm sure she feels horrible for all the damage she's caused. And I don't really think writing about it would make her feel any better." Everyone in the room had shocked expressions across their faces, surprised that sweet Kara Danvers would talk back to Snapper.

"Regardless of how 'horrible' she feels, she still caused a significant amount of monetary damage and the public deserves to be well informed. So no, I don't think it's unfair. We are journalists and as such, we will report the news as honestly and unbiasedly as possible."

Kara chose not to respond. She knew that if she kept going she'd likely become angry and that was the last thing she wanted to have happen on a Monday morning before ten o'clock. She knew that Snapper was right, and she totally agreed with what he said, but she still felt uncomfortable about writing the story, but everyone else had assignments and she had asked Snapper if she could work on more Supergirl related articles.

Seeing that Kara wasn't going to continue the conversation any further, Snapper continued with his address to the room and then dismissed everyone to get back to work and to have a draft ready by the end of tomorrow.

Even though Kara did want to fight this article, she knew she wouldn't win, so she took her leave and headed back over to her desk.

As she rounded the corner she could see the top of someone's head sitting in her chair. At first, she was slightly confused as to who it was, but then a smile broke across her face when she continued looking. It was Lena, sitting in Kara's chair. Her back was turned, but Kara could tell that she on her phone, presumably sending a message to someone.

"Hey!" Kara cheerily greeted Lena when she was closer to her desk.

Lena spun around on the chair, smiling up at Kara; "Hey yourself. I was just about to text and ask if you wanted to get lunch later today."

"Oh, yeah, I'd love to! Snapper just assigned me an article I'm not too thrilled about doing, so lunch would be a great pick me up."

"Really, Kara Danvers isn't excited about one of her articles, this is a world first."

"Har, har."

"What's the article about?" Lena asked more seriously.

"Supergirl and all the damage she's caused to the city in the past few months."

Lena's response was delayed only momentarily. And it wasn't because she now hated everything the city's heroine stood for, far from it, she just didn't particularly enjoy talking to or about Supergirl unless she really had to. "Ahh, I see."

"Yeah, well, I'm a reporter, I don't owe a duty to Supergirl, but rather to the public and keeping them informed with honest and unbiased information. Anyway, enough about my article, where were you thinking for lunch later?"

"I was thinking we could try that new Thai place that opened a few blocks down."

"Sounds like a plan. I've actually been meaning to try that."

"Alright," Lena got up from Kara's seat and moved so she was standing in front of her, "head over at twelve?"

"Sounds good," Kara gave Lena a smile.

"I'll see you then," Lena smiled back then walked off towards her own office.

Lunch with Lena was easily one of Kara's favourite things. It provided her with a sense of normalcy when everything in her life was far from normal. It kept her grounded and made her feel more human and less alone. And as selfish as it sounds, Kara doesn't want that to change, she knows that eventually, one way or another, the truth will come out. She just hopes she can hold onto what she has now for a little bit longer.

She sighs to herself at the thought and turns to sit in her chair and get some work done before lunch.

The three or so hours between making plans for lunch and actually getting to leave for lunch pass by fairly quickly. Kara was able to make a start on her article, even though she'd much rather write about pretty much anything else. But Snapper was right she is Kara Danvers; and Kara Danvers is a reporter, not Supergirl, so Kara Danvers owes nothing to Supergirl, but rather to the populous and delivering accurate news.

When Kara looked at the time on her computer, she saw that there were fifteen minutes until it was twelve o'clock, and deciding that she would be getting no more work done, she headed over to Lena's office a little early.

"Hey, Eve," she greeted with a typical 'Kara Danvers' smile as she walked by Eve's desk into Lena's office.

"Oh, hey Kara," she threw back once Kara was already through the threshold of Lena's office.

Walking into Lena's office, Kara's heart rate picked up slightly at what she saw, and she didn't have the faintest idea as to why it did that. Lena was in her absolute element: hunched over her desk reading through forms and highlighting things occasionally with a fluorescent yellow marker. It's not that she looked particularly happy with what she was doing that made Kara's rate heart pick up, but it was the fact that it felt like she was merely observing a snippet of her everyday life, and that Lena looked so… Kara isn't sure how to describe it, but whatever it was, it was doing something to her. _Why's my heart beating like that?_ Kara brushed the thought off when Lena looked up at her, _I'll figure it out later._

"Hey," Kara continued her approach to Lena's desk, stopping when she was standing directly in front of it and smiling warmly at Lena who had now looked up at her.

"Hey, is it already twelve?" Lena asked while lifting her wrist to look at her watch. "Ah, I see, you were too excited to wait another fifteen minutes for food," Lena laughed when she saw her friend stammering for a response.

"Whaaat, psh, no," Kara waved her hand as if to dismiss the statement, a smirk on her face nonetheless. "I was just too excited to wait another fifteen minutes to have lunch with my best friend." Kara's almost certain that she heard Lena's heart rate slightly pick up at the comment and that her cheeks had the faintest of pink tints.

"I wouldn't want to keep you waiting then," Lena answered while pushing back from her desk and picking up her phone and handbag.

The tone at which Lena had just spoken threw Kara off for a moment. Kara had noticed that she'd heard Lena speak like that a lot more frequently in the past few months, but she only really noticed it now. She was familiar with the tone, she'd heard men use it on her before, but there was something different about the way Lena used it. It sounded both genuine and slightly unintentional.

Kara brushed off her thoughts when she saw Lena already heading towards Eve's desk and telling her that she'd be back in an hour or so. And if Kara heard Lena ask Eve to only call if there was a legitimate emergency, well, Kara just thought Lena was being a kind friend.

"You ready?" Lena asked, looking back at Kara who was still standing in her office.

"Oh, yeah," Kara briskly walked up to Lena, "let's go."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What did you think? Is there anything, in particular, you'd want to see in this story?


	2. Just Another Girls Night

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for the wonderful comments on the previous chapter. Sorry, this chapter isn't as long as the other one. Enjoy :)

Girls night was another one of Kara's favourite things. Much like her friendship with Lena, it gave her normal human life. It kept her grounded and made her feel less alone. Which may appear self-absorbed coming from someone who has so many people who love her, but no matter what she does, she's always going to be different. But these girls' nights really do help.

It was also a great time to catch up and see three of her favourite people: Lena, Alex and Maggie. Ordinarily, Sam would also join them for their girls' nights, but after everything that happened with Reign, Sam and Ruby had left National City. Honestly, Kara couldn't blame them. Being in National City would be a constant and painful reminder of everything that happened, even if it wasn't Sam who caused harm to the city, Kara could still understand how being in National City could be distressing. She'd felt the same way after everything that had happened with the red kryptonite.

Kara was in the middle of rapidly cleaning up her apartment before the others arrived when she heard her phone buzz from the kitchen counter. She paused what she was doing and walked over to the phone.

**6:54PM ALEX: Sorry, Maggie and I are both held up at work**

**6:54PM ALEX: So we probably won't be over until 8**

**All good, see you later :) :KARA 6:55PM**

Kara figured that she'd tell Lena that Alex and Maggie wouldn't be arriving until eight o'clock, this way if she wanted to, Lena had the opportunity to finish up some more work and so she didn't feel rushed to arrive. She seriously did consider doing it but decided against it.

She knew she probably should've told Lena, but Kara couldn't help but enjoy the time they spent together, just the two of them. She'd always had that feeling, but it had seemingly grown in the past few months. Kara wasn't sure why she was feeling this way, but she just knew that she enjoyed spending time with Lena.

Setting her phone down Kara went back to tidying everything up, and maybe using a little bit of her superspeed because Lena would be arriving at 7:30PM and Kara still had to go out and get dinner and restock all of her snacks.

After racing out to grab food after cleaning her apartment, Kara arrived back just in time to hear knocking on the front door. She knew who it was, but still used her x-ray vision out of habit, smiling when she saw that Lena was standing on the other side of the door in casual clothes by Lena's standards: jeans, a very soft looking green sweater, and heels that were half the height of ones she would usually wear.

"Just a minute," Kara shouted out as she used her super speed to quickly change out of her super suit and into comfortable clothes of her own.

Kara opened the door and was met with Lena standing there with a warm genuine smile on her face. "Hey," she greeted while stepping aside, "come on in."

"Hey," Lena responded while walking through the threshold, stepping out of her heels and setting her coat and bag down on the island. "Where are Alex and Maggie? I thought they'd beat me here."

"Oh, um, Alex just texted," _She texted ages ago. Another lie, well done Kara_ ," saying they got held up at work and would be here around eight."

"Okay, well, what do you want to do in the meantime?"

"We could watch something they've already seen," Kara pointed towards the TV to illustrate her suggestion.

"Sure," Lena started walking over to the couch, opting to sit on the left side. Kara followed suit, sitting on the right of Lena and adjusting herself so she was comfortable.

Fifteen minutes had passed, and Kara and Lena were sat on the couch facing one another, completely ignoring the TV show Kara had put on. Kara's not entirely sure how they ended up on the topic, but they started talking about their relationships.

"How are you and James?" Kara asked, genuinely curious.

Lena took a sip of her wine before answering; "I don't know," she sighed, "I mean, he's a great guy but I just don’t feel any real connection with him." Kara nodded in understanding, urging her friend to continue. "I don't even really know why I'm dating him," she finished by taking another sip of her wine.

Kara waited another moment before she started talking. She wasn't the biggest advocate for meddling in her friends' love lives, but it was obvious that Lena genuinely didn't know what to do. "Well, if you don't have _that_  connection with him, or feel _that_ spark, then maybe you shouldn't be with him."

"You probably have a point."

"I'm seriously not trying to be nosey, but you deserve to be happy," she took Lena's hands and gave them a squeeze to emphasise her point, "and if James doesn't make you happy then you should do what you can to find what or who makes you happy." Kara finished by smiling warmly at her friend, giving their still joint hands another squeeze.

"Thank you, Kara. Really. I've just been unsure about what to do, and I thought it seemed a bit ridiculous that I wasn't happy with him, you know because there are so many people who would trade places with me in an instant, but I'm just…" Lena trailed off.

"Lena, it's not ridiculous, you deserve happiness - pure and genuine happiness - and I _know_ that you will find it."

Lena closed the distance between them with a tight hug. "Thank you."

Kara hugged back just as tight while still keeping her powers in check. "Always."

Lena pulled back after a moment, adjusting herself so she was still facing Kara but just a bit closer. "Anyway, how are you."

Lena didn't have to say it, but Kara knew what she was referring to, or rather who she was referring to: Mon-el.

"Better, actually." Kara knew she had to keep the details to a minimum; she didn't want to let on that she's Supergirl.

"That's really good," Lena responded genuinely, taking another sip of her wine.

"Yeah. It hurt for a while, like really hurt, but I think I've moved on. I'm not saying he was perfect when we were together, far from it, but he did make me happy, and I'll be thankful for that, but I don't think I was ever actually _in_ love with him. I think we would've been better as just friends."

Kara felt better actually saying it out loud. She'd thought about Mon-el a lot in the last few months. She was devastated when he'd left the first time, after all, their relationship had felt like love and Mon-el is the closest person to a Kryptonian whom she could actually be in a relationship with, so he just reminded her of home a little bit; and in spite of his many, many flaws, he did make Kara happy.

But when he'd come back, Kara did want them to go back to how things were, but she soon learnt that it never really would, and deep down inside, she was thankful for that. When Mon-el left for the second time though, Kara felt better. She'd said goodbye properly, she'd gotten closure, and she'd finally found the strength to move on.

So yeah, Kara did love Mon-el, but she was never really _in_ love with him; and saying that out loud, especially to another person who listened without judgement, just made Kara feel better.

"Thank you for listening," Kara eventually spoke.

"Of course, Kara," Lena squeezed Kara's hands and smiled warmly at her, "I'll always listen."

It was then the Kara saw something… different in Lena's eyes. She'd seen it a few times in the past couple of months but only truly saw it now. Kara wasn't sure what it was or why Lena looked different all of a sudden, but she'd be sure to figure it out.

The rapid knocking of a person at the door eventually broke Lena and Kara from their conversation. Glancing over at the clock beside the TV, Kara saw that it was a little after eight. "That should be Alex and Maggie," she got up off the couch, feeling a sudden flash of cool from the blanket that was no longer draped across her legs, and because she was no longer seated beside Lena.

Kara quickly made for the door, sliding most of the way over on her fuzzy socks. "Hey!" Kara greeted after opening the door and seeing Alex and Maggie standing there. "Come in, come in," she stepped aside, ushering them in.

Both Alex and Maggie gave Kara a quick hug as they walked by, depositing their belongings on the kitchen island. "Hey, Lena," Alex shouted over her shoulder while sorting through the bag she'd bought, pulling out the beer.

Maggie grabbed two of the bottles, moving to the kitchen drawers and grabbing a knife to quickly pop the lids off of her and Alex's beers. "Lena, did you want one?" Maggie gestured to the bottle.

Lena turned to face Maggie. "No thanks," she took another sip of her wine but smiled at the gesture.

Maggie shrugged and walked over to join Lena on the couch and started talking about what they planned on watching.

Kara pottered around her kitchen, getting out more snacks and drinks, while Alex leant against the island, watching as Kara moved around. "So," she eventually spoke, "how long has Lena been here?"

Kara continued to move around the kitchen as she responded. "Um, little over a half hour I think."

"You didn't tell her that Maggie and I would be late?" Alex asked, her tone making the motives for her questioning obvious.

"No," Kara responded as she continued to move around, Alex's tone going right over her head.

"Knew it," Alex muttered under her breathe.

"Pardon?" Kara stopped what she was doing, turning to face Alex because she genuinely hadn't heard what she'd said.

"Nothing," Alex smirked, taking a sip of her beer. "Be quick will you, I want to get this movie night started at a reasonable time," Alex walked over to join Maggie and Lena on the couch, leaving a slightly confused Kara alone in the kitchen.

Their girls' night was enjoyable and Kara found herself properly relaxing for the first time in a long time. They watched two movies, some new features on Netflix; played several rounds of Poker; and talked and drank some more liquor to end the night.

Kara was reluctant to see everyone leave. She knew they had to, they all had their own lives to get on with, but that doesn't mean it makes her feel any less alone. Girls' nights are like an escape for Kara, they give her a normal human life, and being around people she considers family adds to this. But when everyone leaves it's like she's all alone again. Even though she knows it illogical, it still hurts to watch everyone leave.

It fills her previously lively apartment with silence. The outlandish decorations seemingly dulled by the lack of activity.

Deciding to not wallow in her own grief, Kara changed into some pyjamas and crawled into bed. Sleep finding her quickly.

 

* * *

 

The next day at CatCo, things were moving in a rush. The publication was due to be tomorrow, so last minute changes were being finalised before everything would be sent away to be printed out overnight. Kara low-key loved it when things were moving this fast. It made her feel immersed in her work and prevented any lingering distractions from making their way into her head.

The day as a whole for Kara was actually pretty good, she hadn't gotten to eat lunch with Lena like she usually did, but Snapper had entrusted her to do some editing on a few minor articles, which was a huge step up for Kara, and she was tremendously proud that her hard work was beginning to pay off.

The sun had long since set over National City by the time Kara had sent off the final article she'd edited. It was past seven and Kara was fairly certain that no one else was in the building, aside from security of course. So Kara took the opportunity to start humming away as she packed her belongings up, to focus on her task and humming to her someone approach her desk.

"Hey, Kara," Lena greeted.

Kara spun around, a little shocked that Lena had been able to sneak up on her, in spite of her super aware senses. "Hey," Kara smiled up at her friend, glad that she was finally getting the chance to speak to her today. "Sorry we couldn’t get lunch together, I've been swamped all day."

Lena waved off Kara's concerns, "Not a problem. How was your day though?"

"Really great," Kara responded while standing up and throwing her bag over her shoulder. "Snapper let me edit a few minor articles that'll be in the next publication."

"That's wonderful."

Kara and Lena continued their idle conversation as the pair made for the elevator. It wasn't until they were both in the elevator that a slightly more serious question was asked.

"Can I ask you a favour?" Lena asked as the elevator door closed.

"Of course," Kara answered, smiled on her face.

"Luthor Memorial is hosting a charity function next week, and I was wondering if you'd come with me?"

"Of course I'll go," Kara honestly answered. "But I figured James would go with you."

"Yeah," Lena sighed, "I planned on it, but after our talk last night, I realised that I don't have any real attraction to him, so we broke up."

"I'm sorry," Kara responded with a comforting expression and soft voice.

"Don't be. It was the right move," Lena smiled. "Thank you for agreeing to come."

"Lena, it's really not a problem; I love going to these events with you," Kara's not 100% sure why that sounded so normal and easy to say. "Besides, what are friends for?" She's also not sure why saying that hurt a tiny bit and caused a flash of sadness to wash over Lena's face.

"Great, I'll text you the details later," Lena said as the two walked out of the CatCo building as they were about to part ways. "I'll see you later, Kara."

"Bye Lena," Kara waved as she watched her friend walk in the opposite direction and get into the back seat of a nearby town car.

Deciding that because the day had been wonderful, and because it really was a wonderful night out, Kara opted to walk home instead of flying.

She was fifteen minutes into her walk when her phone vibrated from her back pocket. Reaching for it, Kara saw that Lena had texted her the details of the gala. Kara promptly responded with a series of emojis.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What did you lovely people think?
> 
> Let me know if there is anything you want to see in this story :)


	3. An Explanation

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Enjoy :)

"Hey," Alex announced, jumping off Kara's couch and walking over to her sister who was sitting at the kitchen island typing away on her laptop, "what are you doing Saturday night? Maggie's got a night shift and I thought we could have an impromptu sisters night."

Kara didn't look up from her screen when she responded; "Sorry, I've got plans Saturday."

"Ohh, do tell sister of mine," Alex teasingly answered while grabbing a beer from the fridge.

"Relax," Kara looked up from her screen, "it's not a date or anything." She looked back down and continued typing away, trying to finish a paragraph for her article that's been giving her grief all afternoon.

"What is it then?" Alex asked, popping the lid of the beer bottle off with a knife and leaning on the island.

"I'm going to a charity gala with Lena."

"Ohhh," Alex teasingly responded, taking a sip of her beer, smirking over the top of it.

Alex's tone got Kara's attention, and she looked up at her sister giving her a puzzled look. "What was that?"

"What was what?" Alex feigned innocence.

"That- that tone you used."

"You mean my voice?" again, she feigned innocence.

Kara dropped it, deciding that her sister would just give her more trouble if she continued down this line of questioning. "Can you at least help me pick something to wear?"

"Of course I can," Alex started walking towards Kara's clothes rack, "what kind of sister would I be if I didn't?"

"Thank you," Kara grinned at her sister.

The next forty-five minutes saw several dresses tried on and then quickly discarded for various reasons. Trying on dresses was yet, another thing that Kara loved doing. It was something she could do that was a sisterly thing to do - it made her feel more like a human. Not that she wants to forget about her Kryptonian heritage, she just wished that she could fit in more.

Alex knew this too, which is why she was always quick to agree to do things like this, despite the fact that she really didn't enjoy this kind of activity.

"What do you think of this one?" Kara asked, doing a little twirl in the middle of her bedroom.

Alex walked up to her sister, a focused look in her eyes as she inspected the dress.

The dress was sleeveless and had a single strap going over her left shoulder that held the whole thing up. It was navy blue, complimenting the tone of Kara's skin, and reached to just below her knees.

"I like this one," Alex spoke, still inspecting the dress. "You should wear it."

"Yeah?" Kara asked, slightly hesitant.

"Mhmm," Alex hummed in response. "It's perfect. Perfect colour, perfect style, perfect length." Alex refrained from making a comment about how the dress would also show off her arms and shoulders, she didn't want to make her little sister uncomfortable or nervous.

"Excellent!" Kara exclaimed, running over to another box beside her clothes rack. "I also need your help picking out shoes. Please," Kara pouted.

"Alright, because you're wearing a very dark blue dress, I suggest either black shoes or nude shoes."

"I only have black," Kara answered, holding up a pair of modest black heels.

"Black heels it is. Also, you can walk in them, yes?" Alex jokingly asked.

"Yes, Alex, I can walk in them. I'm not that clumsy," Kara exasperatedly responded.

"I've gotta get going," Alex said, while looking at her phone for the time, "I'm meeting Maggie for a late dinner and movie. Have fun tomorrow and call if you need anything." Alex gave Kara a quick hug and kiss on the cheek as she moved to the front door and left.

Once Alex left, Kara quickly changed out of the dress - hanging it up so it wouldn't crinkle overnight - and got into some comfy pyjamas. Once changed, she went back to her laptop and attempted to finish the paragraph that had been giving her so much grief throughout the afternoon.

Eventually, though, Kara found that all she was doing was writing something, only to delete it three seconds later.

"Ugh," she exclaimed, burrowing her head in her hands.

The silence of her apartment eventually started to become too much for Kara, so she opted to go on patrol, even though she didn't need it, anything was better than being in a silent apartment.

Flying out her window and off into the skies Kara instantly felt better. Flying was just one of those things that very few things could compete with. It was relaxing and required very little effort, and had a way of making you feel so free.

Closing your eyes while flying was even better, letting all your other senses take over. The feel of the wind in your hair and on your face; the smell and taste of fresh, unpolluted air; and the sound of the wind zipping by, as you cut effortlessly through the sky.

Kara soon found herself at the L-Corp building, and she was disappointed and unsurprised to see that Lena was still sitting in her office, reading through forms.

Kara had been watching Lena for a while when she stepped away from her desk and out onto her balcony. Kara didn't take that as an invitation for her to land on the balcony, but she also didn't make any attempt to leave.

"I know you're here," Lena spoke out, leaning against the railing and looking out over the city, "you can land if you want."

Kara did. She landed softly on the balcony but didn't move over to Lena. Kara knew that things between Lena and Supergirl were tense, so she didn't want to make things worse by pushing the boundaries.

"How long have you been watching?" Lena still didn't turn to face Supergirl.

"Not long." Another lie. _You know damn well how long. This is why she doesn't trust you anymore: you keep lying to her._

Lena turned to face the hero, a stoic expression on her face. "Why were you watching?" There was no emotion in Lena's voice. "Afraid I'll go made and turn on you and the city."

"No." Kara was quick to respond, instantly trying to shut down these thoughts that were obviously milling about in Lena's head.

Lena scoffed. "Regardless of your intentions, I do ask that you stop."

Kara knew better than to interrupt Lena now. She could see that Lena needed to say what she was about to say, and Kara couldn't blame her. She deserved it. _I'm the one who doubted her. I'm the one who lied to her. This is nobody's fault but my own._

"The relationship we once had, whatever it was, is now gone. You didn't trust me, even though I trusted you. So we are no longer friends, merely colleagues when the time calls for it."

Kara nodded in understanding. What was there she could do? Nothing. There was nothing she could do to right the wrongs she had done. And things were only going to get worse the longer she lied to Lena. Kara wanted to tell Lena her secret. She really did want to. She may have done it tonight, but it's clear that doing that would only cause more harm than good.

"You can go now," Lena simply stated, turning back to face the city.

Kara listened to Lena's instructions. She carefully took off from the balcony and flew up into the sky. She didn’t stop flying until she reached to outer limits of the atmosphere; and when she got so high up that she could no longer see National City or anything - even with her powers - Kara hovered there, taking in the silence that came with being this far up. Then she started to cry.

She cried because just about everything in her life was going wrong. She cried because it felt as though the city resented her, even though it didn't; she cried because it seemed as though everyone else was fine, even though they really weren't; and she cried because she may have irretrievably ruined one of the most important and meaningful relationships she had. She cried because there was nothing she could do. She was sent to Earth to protect her cousin, to be his hero, and yet, she didn't feel like a hero, only a burden to the people in her life.

 

* * *

 

The charity gala for Luthor Memorial quickly arrived, and despite the fact that Kara would be going as Kara, not Supergirl, she still felt hesitant about actually going. She knew that she wanted to go, more than anything she just wanted to go and support her friend, but it felt strange to go and pretend that they hadn't just had an uncomfortable conversation with her just days earlier. Even though to Lena, it was Supergirl she had said those things to, Kara still felt weird about going.

It felt like she was lying to her, again. Only ruining the already non-existent trust more than she already had. So Kara called the one person who could help in this situation: Alex.

"Hey, Kara. What's up?" Alex friendlily greeted through the phone.

"I feel like I'm lying to Lena if I go tonight. If I go and pretend nothing's wrong then I'm just making things worse," Kara blurted out.

Alex sighed through the phone. "Look, Kara, I know you messed up and I do think Lena has every right to be mad at you," Kara didn't try and disagree with her, "but that is between Lena and Supergirl, not Lena and Kara.

"And I know that you are Supergirl, but to Lena, you aren't. To Lena, you are just Kara. So if you don't go she may act as though it doesn't hurt, but it will hurt her, Kara."

"Okay," Kara breathed deeply, trying to steady her nerves. "Thanks, Alex."

"No problem," Alex sincerely replied. "Have a fun night."

Kara hung up, feeling better about attending. Yes, if she did go tonight, she would again be lying to Lena, but Alex is right, if she didn't go it would hurt Lena.

Kara tossed her phone onto her bed while she started pulling out the dress her and Alex had selected earlier in the week, as well as grabbing shoes and the minimal amount of makeup she would be using.

Just as she was applying a thin layer of a light coloured lipstick, Kara heard her phone buzz from where she'd tossed it earlier.

**6:02PM LENA: Hey, I'm downstairs. Did you want me to come up?**

**No, no, you don't have to do that :KARA 6:03PM**

**I'll be done in a minute :KARA 6:03PM**

Kara did a quick once over in the mirror, and happy with everything, she gave herself a quick nod. As she ran to the door, Kara quickly grabbed her glasses from the counter and threw them on, and then made for the door and promptly closed it behind her as she stepped out into the corridor.

Kara sat in the back of the sleek town car as they made their way to Luthor Memorial, and couldn't help but feel a tiny bit nervous, which is weird, because she's never been nervous around Lena - that's one of the reasons why she loves Lena: it's easy to be around her.

Kara isn't sure what it was that was causing her nerves. It could very well be the fact that she was lying to Lena, again. It could also be because she was about to go to a charity gala and mingle with most of the cities elite. Or it could very well be because she was sitting shoulder-to-shoulder with Lena - but that couldn't be it, they were friends.

"Are you okay?" Lena warmly asked Kara, looking up at her to gauge her reaction.

"Yes," Kara was quick to respond.

"Okay," Lena sounded sceptical, "because if you aren't, that's okay, you know. I'd understand. If at any point during the night, that you find it all to be a bit much, tell me and we can go somewhere quiet or we can just leave. Or, if you'd rather you went home by yourself, I'll have Frank drive you home."

"Thank you," Kara spoke after letting what Lena had said sink in.

"Always."

Kara hadn't actually seen Lena's dress properly until they were walking in - Kara had insisted that Lena didn't have to get out of the car for her, and the interior lights of the car were off for the duration of the ride, so Kara couldn't see the dress.

So, when they got out of the car for the first time, Kara's breath hitched in her throat. Lena was wearing a radiant red dress that reached to about mid-calf. Kara isn't sure why her breath caught in her throat, or why her heart was suddenly beating faster, but she could see that Lena's dress was stunning.

"You look terrific," Kara whispered to Lena as they walked in. She isn't sure where that burst of confidence came from or why her friend's heart rate also seemed to increase.

"Thank you," Lena whispered back.

As they walked in through the doors to where the majority of the evening would be spent, Kara noticed plenty of people looking over at Lena, smiling. Kara was glad that people in the city seemed to like Lena. It was certainly a pleasant change from the initial distrust she'd received from everyone.

Majority of the evening was spent with Lena and Kara socialising with the many notable citizens of National City. Kara didn't usually enjoy these types of events. She'd never really had much of a say about whether or not she'd be going: Ms Grant had always needed her to go. But Kara found that with Lena by her side, she was enjoying a lot more. _One of the perks of having a best friend: you enjoy everything more when you're with them._

Kara did find that she eventually needed some air. So she politely excused herself and walked outside and stood in the small courtyard. She must've gotten lost in her own thoughts because eventually Lena came outside and stood beside her.

"You okay?" Lena asked.

"Oh, yeah. Really, I'm having a great time - thank you again for inviting me. I just needed a little air."

Lena nodded in understanding at Kara's response. "I'm glad you're having a nice time."

"Are you okay?" Kara asked after they'd stood in a comfortable silence for a little bit.

Lena sighed. "I don't know."

Kara knew this, she could see this. "Do you want to talk about it? You don't have to, I just thought that it might help."

Lena didn't immediately respond, instead, she took a brief moment to collect her thoughts. "Supergirl doesn't trust me anymore. Which shouldn't bother me as much as it does. But it really hurts, because she went behind my back, used someone close to me, and betrayed me. And I know it's typical of a 'Luthor' to hate a 'Super', and I'm not saying I hate her - I don't - I just can't trust her. And that's probably what hurts the most about this: she's the cities hero, yet I can't trust her." Lena sniffled before she continued. "Anyway, I'm sure you know this. Supergirl has probably told you already."

Kara took a steadying breath before responding. Even though she totally agreed with what Lena had said - and really couldn't blame her for feeling that way - it still hurt her. "She did tell me," Kara calmly replied. "I know it won't make up for it, but she is sorry. She wasn't thinking when she did that, she was being idiotic if I'm being completely honest," Lena laughed a little. "I don't condone what she did, but she did tell me why she did it." Kara waited for some sort of response from Lena before she continued.

"Mmm."

"Her cousin was really hurt by Kryptonite, and I know you know that, but you probably don't know that it's really hurt her too. She's had bad experiences with Kryptonite and not just the green kind. When she went on that rampage across the city, a synthetic type of Kryptonite affected her and caused her to do it. Someone was trying to make green Kryptonite but ended up making red Kryptonite. She does trust you, Lena, she really does, she just doesn't trust Kryptonite." The pair fell silent after Kara's explanation.

"I am trying to forgive her," Lena eventually spoke. "She's the cities hero, after all, seems a bit ridiculous to not trust someone who does do so much good."

"Lena," Kara moved so she was standing in front of Lena, "don't forgive her because she's the cities hero. Forgive her because you can trust her again. Make sure you take all the time to do that too. And if you can't forgive her, that's okay too. She betrayed you, I understand that, and I know she will too."

Lena pulled Kara into a hug. "Thank you, Kara."

"Always," Kara responded, hugging Lena back.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to Earthling3 for the idea of Kara explaining to Lena about why Supergirl did what she did. I really enjoyed writing that part.
> 
> Hope you lovely people enjoyed reading it!
> 
> Again, if there's anything you want to see or any feedback, let me know, I'd love to hear it :)


	4. Gone

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Apologies for any mistakes. I am trying to get better at my use of tense and point of view.
> 
> Enjoy :)

It was a typical afternoon in National City: bright, sunny and airy. The sun was high up in the sky and shone down on the city as Kara flew over it on her afternoon patrol. She found that it really lifted her spirits after the past couple of months - something about flying around on a sunny day had a way of doing that.

Kara flew up high enough so she could close her eyes and just cruise above the city's skyscrapers, tuning into various sounds across the city in case there was a civilian in need.

Kara unconsciously smiled as she flew, but it wasn't just because of what she was currently doing. She smiled because after her talk with Lena the previous night, she felt as though maybe there was hope that everything could be fixed. Hope that her friendship with Lena, both as Kara and Supergirl, wasn't doomed to failure.

"Supergirl," Alex's voice came over the communication device Kara wore when she was on patrol - she didn't overly enjoy the professionalism that Alex spoke in when they worked together, but she knew it was necessary.

"Yeah," Kara replied.

"We need you to come back now - we're about to do a briefing."

"Alright. Be there in a few." Kara turned around mid-flight, heading back towards the DEO. She decided against speeding back, just in case she accidentally broke the sound barrier - Alex hated it when she did that.

Gracefully, Kara landed on the balcony she frequently used when she returned or departed for patrols. She'd given herself a little nod and smile as she did this: proud that she hadn't broken or damaged it. _Good on you_ , Kara mentally praised herself, _well done for not breaking the balcony, again._

"Hey, Alex," Kara cheerfully greeted, walking into one of the various conference rooms at the DEO.

"You seem happy," Alex noted, looking up from the documents in front of her.

"I am," Kara replied as she sat down and adjusted her cape so she could comfortably sit in the chair. "When are we starting?"

"As soon as everyone's here."

Kara looked around the room and noted the fact that several other agents were already seated on the other side of the table and Winn had just taken a seat beside Kara. She looked back up at Alex with a puzzled expression, because it looked like everyone was already present.

Not a second after Kara's puzzled look directed towards Alex, Lena walked into the room and carefully placed a piece of glowing alien technology on the table in front of Alex, and took a seat opposite Kara.

"Alright," Alex started after she thanked Lena. "This morning we found this," she pointed to the alien technology in front of her, "for sale on an underground website for alien tech. However, this particular piece of technology was initially being held in storage at this facility.

"There was no indication of a break in, so right now, we think this was an inside job. I trust you people, so we're all going to work together and figure out who snuck it out of storage."

"What does it actually do?" an agent sitting at the far end of the table asked.

Alex looked at Lena and indicated to her to 'please explain'.

"I've compared this object to other similar objects stored in the DEO archives, and from what I can tell, it's an energy source of some description. I'm still running tests to determine what it's an energy source for, but I can tell that it is extremely powerful," Lena explained to the room.

"That's why we need to get this solved quickly and quietly," Alex said once Lena had finished her explanation. "This is a need-to-know operation, no one outside of this room needs to know about what we're doing - we don't want to tip off whoever was involved."

"Agent Schott, I would like you to continue filtering through the website we found the object for sale on; and the rest of you I'd like you to be prepared to move out at a moments notice. Thank you." Alex dismissed everyone.

Kara watched from her chair as everyone filed out of the room, and she kept thinking about the conversation she'd had with Lena at the gala. _I know she needs time, and that's totally fair, but I do want her to see that she can trust me._

Kara decided that she'd go and ask Lena if she could help her identify the alien object. She is an alien herself after all, so maybe she could be of some assistance.

Kara walked up the stairs and to the lab that Lena was currently occupying. She watched Lena from the door frame for a moment. Kara was still slightly hesitant about interrupting Lena, she didn't want to push her to talk to her, but she also did want to give the option to see that she could trust Supergirl.

Kara knocked once, then twice on the door. Lena turned around at the sudden intrusion, then back to her work when she saw who it was.

"Um, I was just wondering if you need any help?"

"Don't think I can figure it out," Lena evenly replied.

"Of course not! It's just that, it's alien technology, I'm an alien, maybe I could help you. Only if you want though."

Lena sighed. "Okay, you can help."

Kara smiled and walked into the lab and carefully sat down on one of the stools at the bench Lena was currently working on. The two worked in a somewhat tense silence for a while. Kara considered breaking the silence several times but knew it would only annoy Lena and further distance herself from Lena, so she decided against it.

"Kara told me about why you did it," Lena said into the otherwise silent room, not looking up from what she was currently doing.

"Did she?" Kara obviously knew this, but she wanted Lena to open up to her, even if it was only a tiny bit, and it looked like she might.

"Yeah," Lena looked up. "She said that you were sorry."

"I am."

"She also said you were idiotic," Lena laughed a little when she said this.

"I was." Kara smiled because her friend was laughing, even though it was at her, she was still laughing.

"Why?"

"Why what?"

"Why _did_ you do it?"

"You said Kara Danvers already told you."

"She did, but I want to hear it _from you_."

Kara had thought about what she was going to say for a moment. She didn't want to repeat word-for-word what she'd told Lena as Kara. "I don't know what she told you," another lie, "but my family doesn't have the greatest track record with people who have Kryptonite. You know that my cousin was almost killed with it, but, um, my aunt was killed with Kryptonite. Granted, she had done some horrible things, but it was still Kryptonite that killed her." Kara paused for a moment. "I was also affected by a synthetic type of Kryptonite: red Kryptonite. It caused me to act quite ruthlessly on all the thoughts I'd pushed deep inside. Even though they were my thoughts, it was Kryptonite that caused me to do everything.

"So, I do hope you can understand why I have a distrust towards Kryptonite. And I'm not saying it excuses what I did - because it doesn't - but, I _do_ trust you. I just don't trust Kryptonite or the people out there who want it for malicious purposes."

Lena didn't say anything for a moment, Kara presumed she was just trying to process the new pieces of information that had just been revealed.

"Thank you for telling me." Lena closed the notebook she was currently writing in and stood up as she stuffed it into her bag. "You should know that I am trying to trust you again."

"Thank you."

"Don't thank me yet," Lena's tone was serious when she said this. "I don't know how long it will take, or if I ever will."

Kara nodded. "I understand."

"Good." Lena left the lab after she had said that, leaving Kara alone to reflect on what had happened.

Kara remained in the lab for a while. She thought back on the conversation she'd had with Lena, happy that she was now talking to her as Supergirl.

It was late when Kara left to go on her night patrol. The sun had long since set, the moon taking its place.

Kara carefully took off from the balcony and did her normal routine of closing her eyes and let the wind blow across her face and through her hair.

Kara could no longer see masses of people on the streets - only the late night stragglers - so she could tell it was late when Alex's voice came through her earpiece. "Supergirl, we have a lead. I've got a team together and I want you to meet us at the warehouse district."

"Sure, I'll be there as quick as I can." Kara turned mid-flight - curving around the skyscrapers - as she headed in the direction of the warehouse district.

The raid had gone smoothly. They'd circled the perimeter of the building they believed to be the hideout for whoever ran the website; they'd stormed the place and found plenty of other alien objects, some known and others not; and they had arrested several people - three men and four women.

They had taken the people and objects back to the DEO and deposited the people into holding cells and the alien objects into storage.

Kara watched through the one-way mirror as Alex and another agent sat opposite a woman whom they learnt to be the leader of the group.

The woman remained silent for the whole duration to the DEO, only talking once herself and Alex and another agent were seated at the dinged up metallic table. But she wasn't speaking out of fear or anything alike - she had a steely determined look as she spoke - it appeared that she was talking to them because it was part of some sort of plan.

Kara was only half listening while Alex and the other agent ran through the list of generic questions - she'd heard them all before anyway.

"Are you working for anyone," Kara tuned back in when she heard Alex ask the woman this.

"Yes," the woman replied.

"Who?"

"Lex Luthor," the woman smiled a devious smile once she said this.

Alex promptly stood up and left the room, quickly coming into the room Kara was in.

"Lex Luthor, Alex!" Kara paced around the room, waving her arms around in a flurry of frustration.

"I know."

"How the hell can he be in charge of- whatever _this_ is? He's in 24/7 solitary with two guards stationed outside his door."

"I don't know."

"We have to go see him."

"No. That's what he wants."

"I don't care. I want to know why he's doing this. Is it to get revenge on the 'Supers' or is it strike panic and fear into Lena. Either way, I will not have it," Kara stormed out and quickly made for the balcony, taking off into the night sky heading directly for Metropolis Penitentiary.

 

* * *

 

Kara probably broke the sound barrier on the way over to Metropolis. She landed in front of the prison and walked in, confidently and stoically asking to see Lex. The guards didn't question it - both Supergirl and Superman had come to visit Lex in the past, with connections to various crimes. Granted, when Kara had last visited, she didn't look like lasers were about to shoot out of her eyes.

An armed guard walked with her down the narrow corridor towards Lex's cell.

She curtly nodded at the two guards already stationed outside the door, as the third guard used the keys to unlock the various locks on the door.

The guard opened the door for her to enter first.

However, when she stepped into the small cell, she was not met with a cold, callous man, but rather an empty cell with a letter sitting on the made bed.

_I assume you, Supergirl, are the one reading this. Forgive me, but I was just unable to find pleasure in being in prison - locked up like some animal - so I left._

Kara could practically hear Lex laughing through the words on the paper, but she pushed through the burning hate and kept reading.

_I'm going to fix everything that you've ruined. Starting with my dear sister, whom you corrupted with your thoughts._

Kara didn't even hesitate in stuffing the letter into her boot and like a bolt, she left the prison and flew back to National City, only one destination in mind: Lena's apartment.

She made it back to National City in record time, and as she neared Lena's apartment, she tried to narrow in on the now familiar heartbeat but heard nothing.

Panic and fear were starting to set up in Kara's stomach because she knew what had happened. Despite all the hope, she does have, deep down inside, she knows what she's going to find when she enters Lena's apartment, or rather, who she won't find.

She used the balcony to enter Lena's apartment and took in the shattered glass coffee table and various other objects strewn around on the floor.

Kara called out for Lena, even though she knew she wouldn't get a response. And when all Kara heard was silence, she knew that Lena was gone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you lovely people enjoyed this chapter. Again, thank you to Earthling3 for the pointers on the previous chapter. Really appreciate it.
> 
> :)


	5. Taken

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for ending that last chapter on a cliffhanger. Anyway, I hope this chapter is worth the wait. Enjoy :)
> 
> Also, just a quick note before you start reading; words in italics that are not within quotation marks are the character's inner thoughts, and words in italics that are within quotation marks are words that have been stressed/enunciated.

Lena's gone.

More specifically, she's been taken. She's been taken by Lex.

Kara stood in the centre of Lena's apartment as several DEO agents milled about - collecting evidence and photographing possible points of entry.

The sound of everyone and everything around her faded into a white noise as Kara thought about the events that had transpired in the previous five hours in an attempt to process and understand it all.

Lex escaped prison.

Lex took Lena.

_Rao, this is all my fault. If I hadn't gone and ruined my friendship with Lena as Supergirl, she wouldn't have left the lab when she did. Lex wouldn't have been able to get to her because she wouldn't have been alone. This is my fault._

"Kara," Alex softly spoke, pulling Kara from her spiralling thoughts.

Kara snapped out of her thoughts at Alex's voice, a mixed look of grief and anger on her face. Alex saw this and knew that having a conversation in front of everyone would not be a good idea. So she pulled her sister out of the apartment through the front door and dismissed the agents that were standing out there.

"This is all my fault, Alex. If I had trusted her about the Kryptonite, she wouldn't have felt like she had to leave the lab when she did. I shouldn't have even gone in there and disturbed her in the first place. I should've just gone out on patrol like I was supposed to."

"Kara," Alex put her hands on her sister's shoulders to stop her arms flailing around, "this is _not_ your fault, okay. Lena might have left because of you, but she may not have, we will never know. What we do know is that Lex escaped and took her. We also know that we _will_ find her."

"But what if we don't?" Kara's voice broke. "We don't know where he took her, or if they're even still in the city. In his letter, Lex said he was going to fix what I ruined. He thinks I've corrupted Lena with pro-alien beliefs. We don't know what he'll do."

"Kara, you're the one who's always talking about hope," Kara nodded, even though it wasn't a question, "this is one of those times when you need to have hope. When faced with an unknown, the only thing we can do is have hope. I have hope, and I need to have hope as well."

Kara nodded and wiped the tears that were forming in her eyes. It was quite a juxtaposition to see National City's hero like this. She was clad in her super suit, crest proudly displayed on her chest, striking fear into assailants; and yet, she looked broken, she wasn't composed like she normally was and she had a look of grief across her face.

"Yeah. Yeah, we're gonna find her. I'm just gonna, um," Kara pointed towards the exit, "I'm gonna go on patrol. Fly around and see if I can hear her heartbeat."

Alex knew better than to argue with her sister right now. Despite the fact that she was distraught about everything, Alex knew that, if pushed the wrong way, Kara would likely snap. "Alright. Stay safe and we'll be in touch when we find something."

Kara nodded and quickly made for the exit, taking off into the night sky in search of Lena.

It was late at night when Kara was flying over the city - nearing midnight - so there weren't too many people out on the streets, and the people out were quietly walking to their destination. This made it easier for Kara to zone everything out and focus in on the one sound that provided her with so much comfort.

Kara listened. She really did listen, but she couldn't find Lena's heartbeat.

_She might just be too far away_ , Kara mentally reassured herself.

Kara was about to fly towards the western areas of the city when Alex's voice came through her earpiece.

"Supergirl, we have a possible location on Lex."

"Where," Kara quickly and sternly responded.

"It's a real estate development out by the water. I've got a team heading out there, meet us there in five."

"On my way." Kara turned mid-flight, flying towards the location Alex had given her.

Kara landed in front of the several DEO vans that had pulled up to the scene in front of a half-completed high-rise.

The agents piled out of the van, moving to stand in front of Alex. "I want everyone to surround the perimeter, and I want team one to stay situated on the perimeter when the rest of us move in. We're going to do this quickly and quietly. Move out."

Kara tried to zone in on Lena's heartbeat again, and still, she heard nothing. _This doesn't seem right_. Kara ignored the feeling, too determined to find Lena. She flew up to the roof and worked her way down the building while the DEO agents made their way up.

Kara moved quietly, not wanting to alert anyone of her position. Even though she couldn't hear anyone, aside from the agents, Kara still kept her wits about her. She didn't want her hearing to be the reason that they get caught or that something bad happens to Lena.

Eventually, Kara met up with the other agents that were searching the building. No one had found Lena. They had searched the building from top to bottom, and there was no sign that Lena had been there. There was, however, evidence to suggest that _someone_ had been at the building recently, but it was impossible to say who.

"We have to search it again." Kara was determined to find Lena, so she would search this building however many times if it meant that Lena would be found unharmed.

"Kara," Alex reasonably interrupted, "we went through the entire building carefully. There is no way we missed her. She's not here."

"She has to be." Grief and panic were bubbling up inside of Kara. "We have to find her."

Alex could sense that her sister was either about to do something reckless or start yelling, so she dismissed the other agents, and told them to report back to the DEO.

"I have to find her, Alex."

"I know."

"No, you don't know." Anger was starting to rise above Kara's panic. "I have lost so much, Alex. I cannot lose her too: it'll kill me." Kara exhaustedly dropped to the floor, ignoring the fact that she could possibly damage it. "Lena has bought so much light into my life, if I lose her, that light will go out. I-I can't…."

"I know, but you're tired, frustrated and frightened. You're not going to be much use in your current state. Go home, have a shower, and get some sleep." Kara was about to interrupt Alex, and argue that she was fine and didn't need sleep. "No, I'm not fighting you on this, Kara. I know your alien physiology makes it so you can run on less sleep, but sleep isn't just for your physical wellbeing, you need it to stay mentally healthy - and you need that right now. So go home, have a shower and get some sleep. I will call you when we find something, okay?"

"Okay." Kara stood back up, dusting herself off and exited through one of the unfinished windows.

"I will find you, Lena, I promise," Kara said to herself as she flew home. Even though she knew that Lena wouldn't be able to hear her, it still reassured Kara that she'd made the promise.

 

* * *

 

Lena slowly opened her eyes and was met with a blinding white light positioned directly in front of her. She moaned in displeasure as she tried to move her arm to block some of the light, but discovered that her arm had been tied down to the chair she was currently sitting in. And it wasn't just one arm, it was both.

As she adjusted to the light in front of her, Lena could feel the start of a headache forming at the back of her head. _Ugh, I must've been hit with something. But what?_

Lena tried thinking back on the previous ten hours, in an attempt to understand where she might be and what had happened to her.

_I was at the DEO. I saw Supergirl, we worked on identifying that alien tech for most of the afternoon. I left the DEO to go home. I walked into my apartment, and… and someone was inside. But who?_

A heavy metallic door opened and then slammed shut behind the light that was currently blinding Lena.

"Hello, Lena," a voice beyond Lena's line of sight maliciously greeted.

_I know that voice._ Lena squinted in an attempt to see past the blinding white light. _Who is it?_

"Miss me?" the source of the voice stepped in front of the light.

It took a moment for Lena to adjust to the sudden change, but when she finally did, her heart sank a little. Standing in front of the light was her brother, Lex Luthor.

"Lex?" Lena asked, slightly confused as to how her brother was standing in front of her. She kept her panic at bay, not wanting to let on that panic was beginning to set it.

"Yes." More lights in the room switched on after Lex had spoken. Making clear that the person in front of Lena was, in fact, her brother.

"What are you doing here, Lex?" Lena kept the panic at bay, switching to a tone she reserved for the boardroom.

"Well," he smiled a toothy and ingenuine smile, "I'm here to see you, of course."

That slightly angered Lena, because Lex had plenty of chances to stop his manic behaviour and return to the person he once was. Lena gave him so many chances - more than she probably should have - but he didn't take them. And now he stood there, with the audacity to say he was here for her.

"What do you want?" Her question was void of any emotion.

"I want to help you," he said sincerely as he reached a hand out to Lena's shoulder.

Lena flinched away in response, not wanting to have any contact with him.

"Come on Lena, it's me, your big brother."

"You stopped being my 'big brother' when you killed hundreds of innocent people."

A flash of anger swept across Lex's face but he quickly composed himself before responding. "Fine. I'll leave you be for a while," he started making his way back to the door he had entered through. "Maybe when I come back you'll have come to your senses." Lex exited the room, slamming the door as he did so.

Once Lex left, Lena was left alone in the room, tied to an uncomfortable metal chair - her arms tied down to the arms of the chair and her legs to the chair's legs.

The lights hadn't switched off when Lex left, so Lena took the opportunity to look around the room to see if there was any chance she could escape. To her left and right were bare steel walls, only a broom sitting in the far right corner. She strained her neck to look behind her, her heart sinking a little when she did. Behind her was a table with varying pieces of equipment, some alien some not, but that wasn't what caused fear to bubble up inside Lena. Above the table was a window, and though it was dark, Lena could make out the distinct and familiar environment of the docks.

_Oh god, I'm on a boat. A boat that's heading who knows where and who knows when._

 

* * *

 

Kara had done as her sister had instructed - she had gone home, had something to eat and had a shower. She had even tried to go to sleep, but couldn't. She laid in bed - staring up at the bare white ceiling - for what felt like hours passing at a snail's pace, but what was only twenty minutes.

Even though Kara could tell that she was exhausted, she couldn't get her thoughts to stop long enough for her to get some sleep. She couldn't get any sleep while Lena was still out there, wherever _there_ was.

Having had enough of the constant tossing and turning, Kara pushed the covers off herself and jumped out of bed, opting to patrol the city instead.

She used her superspeed to change and then fly out the window to continue her search for Lena.

This time, when Kara reached what she deemed an appropriate height, she stopped and hovered in the air. She just hovered there, with her eyes closed and all of her focus on hearing the one sound that provided her with immeasurable amounts of comfort: Lena's heartbeat.

She listened and listened, but still, she couldn't hear Lena's heartbeat. "Where are you Lena?" she muttered to herself once she'd opened her eyes.

Kara was pulled away from her search several times by citizens needing her assistance - she'd put out a small fire, stopped a mugging, and saved a reckless drunk from being hit by an oncoming car. After she'd finished each of her saves, she'd hover back in the air and try an isolate Lena's heartbeat; however, each and every time she did this, she still could not hear Lena's heartbeat.

The unthinkable was beginning to set itself up in Kara's mind: what if the reason she couldn't hear Lena's heartbeat is that there's no heartbeat to hear? What would happen then? What if Lex had just snapped and killed his own sister?

Kara shook her head as she flew over the city, attempting to rid her mind of these unpleasant thoughts. _No. Lena's still alive. There's no way she can't be._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was initially going to merge this chapter and next chapter, but I felt bad about the cliffhanger. But don't worry, it will be resolved next chapter, which should up in two or three days.
> 
> Hope you lovely people enjoyed, and I'd love to know what you thought :)


	6. Found

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry that this took so long to post. I knew what I wanted to happen, I just couldn't get the words out. Anyway, let me know what you think, always love hearing your feedback or thoughts.
> 
> Enjoy :)

Pain. It's a feeling that can come and go, and doesn't give you any sort of indication when it does decide to appear - it just smacks you in the face. That's how Kara felt: like a bag of pain had just been thrown at her, for her to experience in all its terrible, terrible glory at once. It wasn't that she was reliving the pain of everything that had happened to her, but rather the emotional pain of knowing that she had been rendered powerless to save her friend.

It wasn't just an emotional pain that she was feeling. The emotional pain had set in hours before, but the emotional pain was starting to turn into a physical pain. It was starting to physically hurt Kara that there was nothing she could do and that all there was for her to do was to wait. Nothing more and nothing less - just sit and wait.

The waiting eventually got to Kara, and before long she had fallen asleep at one of the desk chairs in the central control room of the DEO - painful reminders of the day's events consuming her in her dreams.

Kara was restless in her sleep - the guilt and pain she felt for not being able to do anything to help obviously causing her discomfort, even in her unconscious state.

The dreams quickly became too much, and Kara bolted upright in the chair, looking around the room with bleary eyes and a pained expression.

She was relieved that she didn't have to continue living through those dreams, but pained that Lena still hadn't been found.

She saw that Winn was still hunched over his computer and made her way over to him. "Found anything yet?" she asked, standing behind him and looking over his shoulder at the computer screen.

"Nothing so far. I'm combing through the security footage from Lena's building and so far nothing. It seems that Lex knew where all over the cameras were located."

"Well, is there anything from the street cameras or buildings nearby?"

"No. If I had to guess, I'd say that they left through some private or staff exit."

"Oh." Kara slumped against the roundtable that was just behind her. "Well, is there anything else that you could, I don't know… track?"

"I've got a satellite tracking for any anomalies like radiation and what not."

"Okay, well, let me know if you find anything."

"Hey," Winn spun around on his chair to face Kara, "we're going to find something. It just a matter of when."

"I know. But what if _when_ we find something, it's already too late?" Kara saw the speechless look on Winn's face, she knew he had to respond to what she'd just said, so she left with a simple 'call me if you find something' and took off into the skies again.

Ten minutes had passed since Kara had left the DEO, and she'd been flying around in a silence that was occasionally disturbed the typical city noises.

"Supergirl." Winn's voice came over Kara's earpiece. "The satellite has picked up trace amounts of Kryptonite."

"Where?" There was a firmness to Kara's response.

"National City Docks. But Kara, you cannot go okay? Even if it's just small amounts it can still cause you serious harm."

"Doesn't matter," Kara was already flying off in the direction of the docks. "Kal took all of the naturally occurring Kryptonite to the fortress, this has to be Lex - he's the only one who knows how to make it."

"I've already told Alex and she's on her way out there now with several extraction teams. I only told you because I know you would want to be kept up-to-date."

"I do, and thank you for telling me, but there's no way I'm not going." She turned off her earpiece after thanking Winn and continued in her approach on the docks.

 

* * *

 

"Ready to be reasonable now, Lena?" Lex asked as he entered the almost empty room. His tone of voice wasn't that of a normal questioning tone, but rather something just used for formalities and pleasantries: there was no sincerity in his tone.

"Depends. Are you going to let me go?" Lena asked in a slightly sarcastic boardroom voice she reserved for when shareholders were getting on her nerves.

"Tsk, tsk, tsk. Lena, I need to help you." He grabbed a fold-out-chair from the corner of the room and brought it over in front of Lena, dusting off the chair before sitting down. "You've been brainwashed by the Supers - you have to agree that they are unnatural and need to be stopped," he continued in a creepily calm voice.

"Oh please. Yes, they're aliens, but their also refugees on this planet and have done nothing but help and serve the people of Earth."

"You've seen the destruction they can do, they need to be stopped and you can help." Lex tried flashing a brotherly smile, but Lena saw right through his façade.

"The only reason they caused so much damage was to either save the people of Earth or because of some idiotic human invention that altered their mind. So you listen here Lex, and you listen good," Lena leant forward as much as she could while being tied to the chair, "I refuse to help you in this petty war you have with the Supers and other aliens. As far as I'm concerned they are refugees who left their homeworld in search of a better life. They're really no different from you and me, and anyone else for that matter: all they want is to live their life."

Lex's smile fell at Lena's words. "You will come to see the error in your choice," he stood up from the chair, "and when you do, I hope that I'll be forgiving enough to give you another chance." Lex continued in his approach on the door, and just before he was about to leave he turned back to Lena; "In the meantime though, what'd you say we bring Supergirl here - lure her out into the open and finish this war." He gave Lena one last malicious smirk before exiting through the door, leaving Lena alone in the room again.

 

* * *

 

As Kara neared the National City docks, the air started to fill with a distinct salty taste and felt cool against her face as she flew across the sky. Kara normally found flying past or around the docks to be another one of her favourite things - especially a night when everything was quiet and you could hear the lapping of water on the sides of boats - but that wasn't the case for tonight.

The air still tasted salty and still felt cool against her face, but Kara couldn't possibly enjoy it when the reason she was speeding toward the docks, was because her best friend had been kidnapped and was being held here.

Kara quickly caught up to the DEO agents that had been dispatched to the dock, as well as several uniformed police officers, and then, without stopping, she flew right past them, continuing on her approach of the docks.

When she was no more than a mile out from the docks, she started to scan the area for any sign of Lena - using her x-ray vision on several boats and more than fifty of the shipping containers that had been unloaded from various boats.

It wasn't until she scanned one boat that she had to do a double take because of what she saw, or rather what she didn't see. Lead was not a common material used in the construction of boats and ships, so it threw Kara off when she tried using her x-ray vision on a fairly large boat, but couldn't see through it.

_That has to be it_ , Kara thought. _Lex knows I can't see through lead so he's gone and designed an entire boat that's full of it._

Kara hovered in the air above the boat, trying to use her hearing to zone in on Lena's heartbeat but she still got nothing. It was for this reason that Kara decided she couldn't wait for the agents and police officers to arrive. Lena was most likely going to onboard this boat, and Kara couldn't hear her heartbeat so she was panicking; worried that it might already be too late.

So, instead of waiting for back up to arrive, like she knew she should, Kara landed on the main deck of the ship, careful to keep her presence secret. She may be reckless and board a ship that Lex was most likely on when she couldn't see where anyone was, but she wasn't a complete moron and wasn't about to let Lex's goons become aware of her presence.

Kara carefully made her way through the ship, knocking guards out and continuing her search for Lena. It wasn't until Kara reached a narrow long hallway that problems started to arise. There were two guards stationed along the hallway, each at opposite ends, and Kara knew she wouldn't be able to take one of them out without the other seeing and potentially calling for backup.

Kara knew it was reckless, but there wasn't much else of a choice - she still couldn't hear Lena's heartbeat or any other heartbeats for that matter - so she just decided to rush the two guards, and use her superspeed to take them out quickly.

Kara took the first guy out no problem, but the second guy had seen her and was ready for her attack. It took a minute, but Kara was also able to subdue the second guard, moving him out of sight as best as she could given the design of the corridor. Luckily for Kara, the guard hadn't thought to use his walkie-talkie to call for backup, so she continued on with her search without having to deal with a sudden influx of guards.

Eventually, she reached the last door on her current level. She had checked through all of the other doors on her current level and hadn't found Lena, so she didn't have high hopes of finding Lena behind this door. Still, she tried using her super hearing - still not hearing anything - and decided that she'd just have to risk it and open the door because she couldn't see in either - the door was made of lead.

Kara knew that if she smashed the door down it would alert whoever was inside that she should not be there, and if she opened the door slowly it would likely result in the same thing. So, she did the only thing she could do: she opened the door normally, as though nothing was wrong and as though she was meant to be there, and walked inside the room.

The room was dark and the moment she walked into the room, Kara could feel it, she could smell it, hell, she could see the faint glow of it at the far end of the room. It was at that moment that reckless behaviour finally dawned on her, she finally saw the error in her actions - she should have waited for backup.

_No. He has Kryptonite._

"Supergirl," a voice from the shadows greeted without any sincerity in their tone. Kara didn't need the light or heightened vision to see who it was, she just knew that it was Lex.

The lights flashed on, and as they did, two guards came from the corners of the room; one grabbed her arms and held them still, while the other cuffed her arms behind her back with Kryptonite cuffs.

Despite the fact that Kara's arms were cuffed and she was becoming weaker because of the Kryptonite, she was filled with relief to see that Lena was alive - albeit tied to a chair, but alive nonetheless.

Lex strode out to stand in front of Kara. "Wonderful to see you again," he said with false sincerity. "How've you been?" he asked mockingly. He gestured to the two guards holding Kara to move her to another chair that was situated four feet to Lena's left. Kara struggled against the guards, but because the Kryptonite was slowly weakening her, she didn't have the physical strength to fight against two guards who were twice her size.

"The amount of Kryptonite you're being exposed to now isn't enough to harm you, just make you more human in terms of your physical abilities, which I'm sure you're aware of," Lex continued. "I only want to understand what makes you _have_ these abilities, for now at least."

Kara hates Kryptonite, and she doesn't use the word hate often or lightly, but she hates it with a burning passion. It's impossible to not hate something that can make you so weak and even cause your death. However, underneath the hate she has for Kryptonite, there's pain. It's painful that one of the sole surviving remnants of your homeworld is the one thing that can kill you. It isn't often that Kara thinks or talks about this, but that pain is always there, just bidding its time to emerge.

"You won't get away with this," Kara said, determination lacing her voice.

"That's where you're wrong," he stood triumphantly in the middle of the room, hands in his pants pockets as he spoke, "I've been planning this for years. I'm sure you've figured that out by now - the lead-lined boat probably being the giveaway. Your desire to save people is ultimately your fatal flaw - I knew you'd come rushing onto this boat, even though you couldn't see or hear anything." A shocked expression appeared on Kara's face at Lex's last admission. "That's right," he continued in an eerily happy voice, a malicious smile on his face, "I know that your super hearing isn't working, it was actually courtesy of a rather ingenious device I was working on before my incarceration - it blocks any sound waves within a one mile radius from being picked up.

"Anyway," Lex continued, adjusting his suit, "I'll give you two a minute to catch up while we prepare to disembark." The words Lex spoke were sincere, but the way in which he said them were anything but sincere. He left the room chuckling to himself.

"Miss Luthor, are you okay?" Kara asked as she turned to face Lena once Lex had left.

"Yeah. Great," she answered somewhat sarcastically.

Kara knew the Lena was annoyed and perhaps a bit angry - it was obvious in the tone of her voice. But she knew that now was not the time to bring it up. They had to get off the boat, and getting into an emotionally heavy conversation at that moment would do them no good.

"Look, I know you're angry with me, and you have every right to be, but right now, I think we should focus more on getting out of here."

"Okay, but don't think this changes anything."

Kara nodded her head in agreement, "I won't."

"Great, so how are we going to get out of here?" she gestured to their surroundings as best she could with her arms tied to the arms of the chair.

"Well, the Kryptonite is slowly weakening me, so I don't have my powers, but Director Danvers is on her way out here with a team. I saw them on my way out here."

"Why didn't you wait for them?" Lena sounded a little bit annoyed at Kara's obvious recklessness.

"I was um, I was worried because I couldn't see you and I couldn't hear you."

"Oh," Lena replied, her resolve fading. "While that is very nice of you, it doesn't change the fact that we're now trapped and have no way to get out of here."

"Yeah, sorry."

"No, don't apologise, you're not the one who kidnapped me."

"I know, but I'm the reason that we can't get out of here."

"Yeah, but at least you came. Thank you, by the way."

"Always."

It was then that Lena saw something familiar in Supergirl. Not familiar in the sense that she's spoken and seen the heroine before - because she has, but she hadn't seen it then - rather something about the sincerity of her words sounds so familiar. Almost as though she'd heard them spoken before, even though she's fairly certain Supergirl hasn't said those words to her.

"Good," Lex strode back into the room, the door slammed shut behind him, "you two are still here, not that you could have escaped anyway." He gestured to one of the guards in the room to come forward and untie Lena from the chair. "New Lena, I trust you, which is why I'm untying you," he said eerily calmly. "I want to give you another chance. Let me help you cleanse your mind of these unhealthy thoughts. Let me save you." He reached a hand out to Lena's forearm.

Lena flinched away from Lex's touch. "No," she firmly answered.

"Well, that's a shame," he clicked his fingers at the other guard and was handed a gun, "because now, you have to die."

"No!" Kara screamed.

"Quiet," he faced Kara, "I want you to see that you can't save everyone. That you were rendered powerless and had to watch as some dies in front of you. I want you to feel that powerlessness course through your veins."

Then, just as Lex turned his attention back to Lena, gun raised and at the ready, ten DEO agents - led by Alex - stormed the room, easily subduing the guards.

In the heat of the moment, Lena got the upper hand on Lex and punched him in the centre of the face, knocking him to the ground. She quickly grabbed the small sidearm Lex had been holding and used it to keep Lex from standing up again.

"Come on, Lena," Lex's words could be interpreted as a plea, but Lena could see the malicious intent in his eyes, "don't do this. I'm your big brother, remember?" he stretched his hand out to her from his position on the floor.

Kara knew that she should probably take Lex out now, but she could see that Lena obviously need to say something to Lex, so she stood behind Lena, ready to grab Lex if she needed to.

"No," her voice was void of any and all emotion, "you don't get to call yourself that. You stopped being my brother when you ruthlessly killed innocent people. You don't deserve my forgiveness and I'll be damned if I let you get it."

"Well go on then. Do it. Pull the trigger," he challenged.

Lena's hand tightened around the gun at Lex's words, but she refused to pull the trigger. "No. I will not go to your level. Yes you've done heinous things, but I refuse to be the one that ends you. I want you to have to live with your crimes; I want you to understand, and live with the knowledge, that I will never, ever forgive you; and that you have lost everything." She lowered her arm and brought it to rest by her side, her hold on the gun going slack.

Alex and another agent quickly approached Lex and restrained him, cuffing his hands together behind his back. They pulled him into a standing position and escorted him out of the room and towards the main deck of the boat.

Once Lex was gone, Kara approach Lena and took the gun from her hands, handing it off to another agent in the room.

"Are you okay?" Kara asked, still keeping her distance as per Lena's request.

"Yeah," she cracked a weak smile, "yeah, I'm okay."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thoughts?
> 
> Also, thanks for the comments on previous chapters. I seriously appreciate it.
> 
>  
> 
> :)


	7. Forgive 'n Forget

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Again, thank you for your wonderful comments, and sorry in advance for any mistakes. Enjoy :)

It's always nice when things start to return to a somewhat normal state of operations - it can fill a person with happiness because things are beginning to return how they once were, and it can make a person feel less stressed because the thing that once posed a serious threat is no more an issue.

However, when everything has been said and done, sure, things may return to how they used to be, but nothing can ever really return to how they once were. People still remember everything that happened, everything that was said, and everything that was felt. Things may be moving ahead, but nothing is truly forgotten. So, how do we move forward with our lives when this is the case? How are you expected to move on with your life when something terrible happened to you? The answer, you lean on the people closest to you and have hope.

It was nearing nine o'clock on a Friday night when Lena found herself in Kara's apartment, sitting on her couch and watching some movie Kara had put on earlier. It was supposed to be a girls night - Sam had planned on flying in for the weekend because Ruby was going to a friends house, and neither Alex nor Maggie had been scheduled to work that evening. However, as they say, life gets in the way. Ruby had fallen ill so Sam had to cancel, and both Alex and Maggie had been called into their respective works.

So, despite the fact that it would just be the two of them for the evening, Kara and Lena were determined to enjoy their night together.

They were halfway just under halfway through their second movie of the night - Kara had insisted that they watch Finding Nemo for whatever reason - and Lena was enjoying it. She hadn't seen the movie when it had come out and hadn't made any effort to watch since then, but when Kara learnt that she hadn't seen it, she had insisted that they sit down and watch it immediately.

Lena was enjoying the movie, however, she did find herself not paying her full attention to the screen because in her peripheral vision she could see that Kara would look over at her every few minutes. Normally, this type of thing wouldn't be cause for distraction, but it's Kara, and given everything that happened in the past few weeks, how could she not be slightly distracted.

She knew that Kara had been worried ever since Lex had taken her, and she totally understood why, but that didn't change the fact that it was slightly distracting.

"Are you okay?" Lena asked, keeping her eyes fixed on the screen.

"Hm?"

"Are you okay?" she repeated, turning her head to face Kara." You keep looking at me."

"Oh, yeah I'm fine," she responded with a friendly smile.

Lena nodded and returned her friend's smile, turning back to watch the movie that was playing on the TV.

Ten minutes had passed and Lena still couldn't get herself to pay her full attention to the screen because she could again see, in her peripheral vision, that Kara would look over at her every few minutes.

"Okay," Lena turned her full body to face Kara, "are you sure you're okay because you've looked over at me five times in the past ten minutes?"

Kara adjusted her glasses at being caught yet again. "I'm just worried. I mean, Lex kidnapped you less than two weeks ago and it doesn't look like it's bothered you at all."

Lena raised an eyebrow at Kara's comment and realised how what she had said sounded, she quickly backtracked and explained herself.

"I didn't mean that you should feel a particular way," she quickly corrected. "I just mean, that it's okay to feel something. I think it's really healthy to express how you feel because if you keep it bottled up, it'll gnaw away at you until you find you can't cope anymore. I'm not saying you have to talk to me, I don't want to push you to do something, but I think it would be good if you did talk about how you feel. I wouldn't want what Lex did to ruin you," Kara finished, smiling kindly at her friend to let her know that she truly does care.

"Thank you, Kara," Lena said, taking Kara's hand and giving it a quick squeeze. "But I really do think I'm okay. I made peace with the fact that I'm never going to get the old Lex back."

"That's good, it really is, but that doesn't mean that you're not allowed to feel something after what happened. So, if you do want to talk about it, just know that I am here and I will listen," Kara smiled and waited for Lena to respond.

Lena sighed. "I don't actually know how I feel. Logically I think I should feel rattled or angry, or some mix of the two, but I don't. I'm not saying I'm glad it happened, but if it hadn't, I probably wouldn't have had the chance to talk to Supergirl the way I did."

Kara nodded and gave her friend a smile, urging her to continue, even though she was already well aware of everything that had happened.

"It's just… I went home that night quite frustrated and annoyed with her. I did tell her that I'm trying to forgive her, which I am, but I suddenly understood where she was coming from. I certainly don't condone what she did, because she did betray me, but I do understand why she did it. Lex also gave me some understanding."

"Oh?"

"Yeah, he didn't mean to, obviously, but he lured Supergirl in with Kryptonite - I guess he knew that the DEO had been tracking Kryptonite radiation signatures. Anyway, while he waited for her to show up, he kept talking about the Kryptonite and how it came from Krypton.

"And that's when I realised that Kryptonite is one of the last things from Supergirl's destroyed world and it can kill her. I can't even begin to imagine how painful that must be."

"Oh." Kara wasn't surprised by what Lena had said, because that's exactly how she felt, she was just surprised, that, even though she'd betrayed Lena's trust as Supergirl, Lena was still able to empathise with her. She wanted to reach out a give Lena the tightest hug possible but knew that it probably wouldn't make much sense given the fact the Lena doesn't know she's Supergirl.

"I never thought of it that way," Kara lied.

"I hadn't either until then, but now that I do I can't help but feel bad for her. I think I've forgiven her for what she did, but I'm still working on trusting her again if I even can trust her again."

"As I said, Lena, take your time. She broke the trust you two had, I understand that it can take a while for that trust to come back if it ever does - and I know she understands too."

The two went back to watching the movie after that and enjoying their girls night. They didn't bring up any of the drama that had ensued in the past few weeks, just joking, laughing, talking about nonsensical things, and all around enjoying their night.

It was a past eleven when Lena left. Kara had asked if she just wanted to sleep over, but Lena had politely declined, citing an international business call she had early in the morning.

"I'll talk to you tomorrow," Lena said as she put her coat on and walked to the door.

"Bye, Lena. Don't work too hard tomorrow, it is a Saturday," Kara said while giving Lena one last hug before she left.

Lena laughed a little and smiled at the kindness of her friend. "Bye, Kara."

 

* * *

 

The weekend was over sooner than Kara would have liked, and before she knew it, she was being thrown back into the hustle and bustle of the working week.

Monday flew by quickly, nothing much happening aside from normal reporter work and the occasional Supergirl save. Tuesday and Wednesday followed a similar pattern. However, Thursday rolled around and with it, Kara's workload increased, both as a reporter and as Supergirl.

Snapper was gradually giving her more and more responsibilities, which thrilled Kara to no end but it also tired her in spite of her Kryptonian physiology. Snapper had given her fairly big assignment - she was too investigate and report on the recent corruption within the city's officials. Because this was quite a big story, she wasn't doing it alone, Kara was to work with two other reporters; and even though she would have loved to do this solo, she was excited with the prospect of working with some of her colleagues.

However, for whatever reason, the crime rate decided to increase on that same Thursday, making it difficult to complete the assignment before the deadline. But Kara wasn't one to let crime stop her from doing her job, so she kept up her Supergirl appearances to ensure that the crime was being managed and also kept up with her reporter duties, ensuring that the article she was collaborating on would have only the best information.

Kara managed to get everything she needs to write the article with her colleagues tomorrow, and fly out and help the city out whenever it needed her, so come Thursday night, Kara was exhausted.

Despite the fact she was tired and really just wanted to go home and collapse into bed, Kara still did her usual late-night patrol of the city. It was almost eleven o'clock when Kara found herself flying towards the L-Corp building. She knew Lena had asked her tonight visit anymore, but she couldn't help herself. Kara had no intention of pushing Lena to trust her again, but she did need to make sure the whole city was safe before she went home, and Lena and Supergirl had been talking more, so Kara figured it couldn't to drop by, if only to ask how Lena was after everything that had transpired two weeks ago.

Kara did tell herself that she wouldn't stop and hover around if Lena wasn't out on the balcony. Kara had no intention of making it seem like she didn't trust Lena, so she didn't want it to seem as though she was watching her from afar.

Lucky for her though, Lena was out on the balcony overlooking the city below.

Kara made no attempt to land on the balcony, deciding to just hover in front of the balcony eye level with Lena. "Hi," she greeted.

"Supergirl," Lena curtly responded, "how can I help you."

 _This is good, she hasn't asked me to leave yet_. "Oh, I just wanted to see you." Lena cocked an eyebrow and Kara realised what she had said. "You know after everything that happened I wanted to make sure you were okay," she quickly added. "So, are you okay?"

"I'm fine, thank you for asking."

"Cool," Kara responded somewhat awkwardly, not really sure how to fill the silence that had been created.

"I want to apologise," Lena eventually said.

"For what?" Kara asked, moving a little closer so they could have an actual conversation.

"For everything that happened with us."

"You shouldn't be apologising for that, I'm the one who messed everything up. It's not your fault, it's mine."

"I know, but it didn't occur to me until recently how painful Kryptonite must be for you. I mean, I know about the physical effects it can have on you, obviously, but I didn't really think about the emotional effects. When Lex was talking about Kryptonite and how it could be used against you and Superman he mentioned that it came from your planet. And that's when I actually realised that one of the sole surviving things of your destroyed planet can kill you.

"I've never thought of it that way before. I suppose I have Lex to thank for making me realise it," she let out a small laugh. "I can't imagine how painful that must be for you. I'm not sorry that I got mad, I think it was fair that I got mad." Kara nodded in agreement. "But I would like us to try and be friends again. So, what do you say, friends?" Lena extended her arm out to Supergirl to shake.

Kara smiled brightly at this, absolutely thrilled that Lena was giving her another chance. So, still hovering in front of the balcony, Kara moved closer to Lena so she could shake her hand. "Friends," she repeated.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'd love to hear your thoughts about the chapter and story so far.
> 
> FYI, I have written what I initially planned on being chapter 8, but I'm not sure if I want to add one between this chapter and the next one - making the chapter I've already written chapter 9. I'm on the fence about writing a chapter about Lena and Kara (as Supergirl) working together and actually building up their trust again. Sooo if you want that, let me know and I'll write it, if not that's cool. But it will probably be a few days until the next update so I can decide what I'm gonna do.
> 
> Anyway, thanks for reading :)


	8. The Truth Will Set You Free

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, I know I initially said that I was going to do a chapter about Lena and Kara (as Supergirl) working together, and Lena slowly trusting Supergirl again, but I did some planning and decided to have the chapter a little later on.
> 
> Anyway, thank you again for all the lovely comments, sorry in advance for any mistakes and I hope you enjoy this chapter.
> 
> PS I'd rather not spoil the chapter, but it does end on a cliffhanger. So if that isn't your thing then maybe don't read this chapter until I update in a few days.
> 
> :)

It's always interesting when someone has a sudden realisation. A wave of varying emotions rushes over them and depending on what the realisation is, those emotions can be good or bad. They can feel elated or they can feel dejected, or anywhere in between. Hell, sometimes they can be confused by the realisation or complete understanding. But what's really interesting is the period _before_ the realisation.

You see before someone realises something there's always a flood of emotions that they'll experience. They start with the initial confusion and thought that something isn't quite right - they're not sure what isn't right, but they can see and feel that something is different. Their confusion soon branches off into understanding, when the thought or thing that was confusing, becomes so clear and obvious. With this new understanding and clarity can come happiness, however, fear can also arise from it.

But why would a person fear a new realisation? It could be for a myriad of reasons. Maybe they've realised that something truly horrible is about to happen or that _they'll_ have to do something horrible, or it could be because they realise they'll have to betray someone whom they hold very close.

What do you do in that situation? Would you follow through with this realisation and tell that person what you should have told them years ago, more than likely ruining any trace amounts of friendship? Or do you ignore the realisation, and go on living your life as normal as possible, with that realisation gnawing away at your conscience?

It's a moral dilemma really. Do you tell the person you consider your closest friend, the secret you've kept hidden for all these years? Doing so will most likely ruin your friendship - hurting both parties involved - because they value trust and have been deceived so many times before. However, there's always the option to not tell them. What they don't know won't hurt them, but keeping the secret will hurt you, and really, you'd just be deceiving them, like so many people have done so in the past. So, do you spare them the pain and knowledge that they've been deceived, and feel the pain all by yourself? Or do you tell them your biggest secret, ruining the friendship that was once so strong? It'll hurt everyone involved, but what hurts more? Knowing you've been lied to or living in ignorance.

And can a person really live in ignorance? Because, one way or another, whether intentional or unintentional, the truth will always come out.

 

* * *

  

Kara stood in front of Alex and Maggie's door, she'd just knocked and could now hear Maggie's footsteps approaching. She wasn't a hundred per cent sure why she was standing outside their door at eight o'clock at night - actually, that's a lie. She knew why: something's been bugging her for almost a month now and she's not sure _why_ it's been annoying her.

"Hey, Kara," Maggie greeted with a smile as she opened the door. "Come in." She stood aside and ushered Kara inside. "Did you want anything to drink?" she asked as she walked to the kitchen.

"Just some water, please," Kara responded as she walked over the couch where her sister was sitting.

"Hey," Alex greeted from the couch. "What're you doing here?" she asked as Kara took a seat at the far end of the couch.

"I need to talk to you about something." Maggie came over and handed Kara a glass of water and then sat on the couch beside Alex. "Both of you actually," she added.

Maggie and Alex exchanged slightly confused looks before responding. "What's up?"

"That's the thing, I don't actually know."

"Well, um, we could just sit here and watch TV until you figure it out," Maggie offered.

"Yeah, there's no rush," Alex continued.

"No, no. I know what it is but I don't know _why_."

"Okay," Maggie and Alex both responded.

"Why don't you tell us what it is and we'll see if we can help you figure out why it might be bothering you," Alex suggested.

"Okay, well, um, it's about Lena, I think," Kara started.

"You think?" Alex said, slightly confused herself.

"Well, I don't know why, but something just came over me when Lex took her. And it wasn't like, the normal fear you get when a loved one goes missing. It was an intense pain." Alex and Maggie both nodded. "It felt like a physical pain, even though I knew it wasn't physically hurting me, it just felt like it was.

"It kind of felt like when the red Kryptonite affected me." Alex nodded in understanding. "Except, it didn't feel like a desire to act on my thoughts I'd pushed away, just the intense desire to find her and make sure she was okay."

Kara stopped and stared off at the wall for a moment, trying to collect her thoughts. Alex and Maggie exchanged a glance, they both knew what was wrong with Kara, they'd been watching it happen for years now, but neither of them was about to push Kara to have this realisation, this was something that Kara did need to come to the conclusion with on her own.

"Maybe you felt this way because she is your best friend," Maggie suggested. She knew that it could be difficult to accept that you have feelings for your friend, so she wasn't about to go out and say that Kara did - she didn't want to scare her off.

"No, I don't think that's why," Kara answered when she came out of her thoughts and looked back at Alex and Maggie. "I've had friends go missing before and it didn't feel like this, and it also wasn't the same as when you went missing," she directed to Alex. "It kind of felt like when I lost my planet - not in the literal sense of course - but more like I'd lost something that was familiar and something that made me feel safe and comfortable."

"How do you feel now?" Maggie asked once Kara had finished speaking.

"I don't feel like that anymore, but I know I would if she ever went missing again." Kara stopped and thought for a moment. "Now I feel… I don't know, it's like a mix of happiness and relief that she's back and that she's safe, but _I_ also feel safe knowing she's back because she makes me feel like I'm home."

Maggie and Alex exchanged another look before either one of them spoke again.

"Kara, please know that I'm not trying to make you uncomfortable when I say this, but that's exactly how I felt when Alex went missing."

"Well that makes sense, you're in love with her."

Alex and Maggie both looked at Kara in mild shock because she'd realised what the emotion she felt was, she just hadn't connected it yet.

"You do realise what you just said, right?" Alex asked

"Yeah," Kara replied mildly sarcastically. "When you went missing, Maggie felt how I felt when Lena went missing, which makes sense because she loves you." Kara still showed no sign of realising the connection she'd made.

"Did you feel that way when I went missing?" Alex asked.

"Kind of, but not as intense."

Alex and Maggie continued to look at Kara, watching as her mind tried to make the connection. The two eventually saw it happen: when Kara was hit with the realisation.

"Oh," she said a little shocked. "I love her."

Maggie and Alex nodded.

"I'm in love with her," she said more confidently this time, a smile spreading across her face. Everything was finally making sense to Kara now. It explained why she felt the way she did when Lena went missing, why her heart felt like it was pulling her towards Lena whenever they were near, why she would have the constant desire to be near her in the most innocent ways possible, and why she felt safe and whole when she was with her. "I'm in love with Lena," she said again, the smile on her face seemingly growing.

"Congratulations," Alex smiled at her sister. "Also, it took you long enough," she added while playfully hitting her on the arm.

"What'd you mean?"

"Oh please, I know you think these are somewhat new feelings, but I've seen the way you've been looking at her for years now. It was pretty damn obvious."

"Well, why didn't anyone tell me sooner?" Kara quickly stood up, her annoyance only slightly genuine.

"Because it was kinda funny to watch the two of you pinning over one another," Alex laughed.

"What do you mean? There's no way Lena feels the same."

"Come on, Kara, you're joking right?" Alex continued to laugh while Kara stared blankly at her sister.

"I think what Alex is trying to say is that the both of you have been oblivious to the fact that each of you has been falling for the other for, like, almost three years."

"Three years!" Kara exclaimed, grabbing the jumper she'd discarded on the back of the couch. "We could have been dating for three years if I'd realised this sooner?"

"Probably," Maggie answered with a shrug of her shoulders.

"I have to go," Kara threw her jumper on and ran out the front door. "Thank you!" she shouted over her shoulder before the door closed behind her.

 

* * *

 

Kara had initially planned on flying directly over to Lena's apartment but decided to fly home instead after a new emotion started to take its place in Kara's mind: fear. It's a normal emotion that everyone experiences in their life. Some might even argue that you _need_ fear to truly live your life.

Everyone's scared of something - no matter what, we're all familiar with that undeniable feeling the bubbles up inside of us, from time to time. And there are all these different types of fear that we all experience, which all depends on our current situation.

Late at night when you're laying in bed, staring into the darkness, after watching one too many horror movies, we all get that irrational fear of the dark. Rationally, we know there's nothing there, but there's still that shred of doubt that remains because there _might_ be something there. And it's that doubt that causes us to have fear because really, the fear of the dark is really the fear of the unknown.

There's also the fear of good things. We might fear some new change that's about to occur. Even though change is arguably a good, beneficial thing, it's still going to scare us and that's okay. Because, once again, it's the unknown that's scary, not the change itself.

The same can be said about a lot of other things, both good and bad. But that's not why Kara's pacing around her apartment in a frantic panic. She sometimes fears change, hell, she sometimes gets a tiny bit scared of the dark after Alex makes her sit through a horror movie, but that's not what's causing fear to bubble up inside of her this time. Sometimes, telling the truth can be just as frightening. Once again, it comes from the fear of the unknown. We can't know how someone's going to react when you tell them something - they could be totally understanding, they could be thrust into a fit of rage because you lied, or they could be somewhere in between. It's just something we cannot know.

Talking with Alex and Maggie certainly cleared some things up for Kara, and she's thankful that they took the time to help her figure everything out. But now that she's left Alex and Maggie to enjoy their quiet night in, it leaves Kara with the one task she's been dreading but knows that she has to do.

She knows she has to tell Lena that she's Supergirl - she should have done it ages ago - and she knows that she needs to tell Lena about her feelings that she's only now just realised. Because if she doesn't, Kara's fairly certain she may combust - keeping a major secret from your best friend will do that to you.

"You have to do it," Kara muttered to herself as she paced in circles around her apartment. "She's your best friend, this isn't something you should keep from her."

_She's probably going to be mad at you for a while, hell, she might even hate you, but she deserves to know the truth - even if telling the truth means that she'll never want to speak to you again - you need to tell her_ , she thought.

With her mind made up, Kara grabbed her phone from the kitchen island and opened up the text conversation she had with Lena. Even though she knew she had to do this, looking back at their most recent conversation, Kara couldn't help but think that maybe she should just put her phone down and do this another day. Kara smiled when she read through the goofy exchange, she didn't want to ever lose that; and Kara's certain that if she tells Lena everything, she'll lose her from her life.

But Kara fought those emotions back. She knew that the longer she waited to do this the more it would hurt. So, she quickly typed out a message to Lena and waited for her response.

**What are you doing right now? :KARA 9:43PM**

**9:44PM LENA: Nothing really, just finishing some work up at home.**

**9:44PM LENA: Why?**

**I need to talk to you :KARA 9:44PM**

Kara was about to start typing out another message, but a call came through on her phone - the caller ID indicating that it was Lena. Without a second thought, she accepted the call.

"Hey, what's up?" Lena asked through the phone, sincerity and concern lacing her voice.

"I need to talk to you about something."

"I can be at your place in twenty minutes."

"No. This is something you should hear in a place that's yours." Kara wanted to say that she should hear it in a place that's comforting and warm, but Lena has previously told her that being in Kara's apartment feels more like home than her own apartment. And, as much as Kara loves having Lena over, this is something that Lena should hear in a place that's hers, because the last thing you want when you find out your friend has been lying to you, is to be surrounded by everything that's theirs.

"Okay?" The confusion was obvious in Lena's voice.

"Can I come to you?"

"Of course, Kara. I'll see you soon."

"See you soon." Kara ended the call and slid her phone into the back pocket of her jeans. Kara didn't bother grabbing anything before she left - not even bothering to grab her glasses off the kitchen island.

Kara initially planned on taking a more reasonable time to get to Lena's apartment, but decided against it because she was going to tell her about her secret anyway, so why bother with keeping up the charade? So, she ducked into a deserted alleyway and took off into the skies, landing moments later two blocks away from Lena's building. Kara considered landing right next to her building, but she thought if she at least landed a few blocks away, she would have some time to mentally prepare what she was actually going to say to Lena.

As she walked in through the lobby doors, Kara flashed a friendly smile to the security crew who were at the front desk and gave them a little wave.

_This is it._ She pushed the button for the elevator. _You're doing this._ She boarded the elevator. _No matter the outcome, this is the right decision._ She pushed the button for Lena's floor. _She deserves to know._ The elevator dinged and the doors opened in front of Kara. She took a quick breath to steady her nerves and exited the elevator. She shook her hands out and wiped them on her jeans, trying to get rid of the non-existent sweat from her palms. She nodded to herself and walked to Lena's door.

She knocked tentatively on the door, careful to not let her strength get out of control on account of her nerves. She waited a brief moment and then heard the gradual approach of footsteps, footsteps which she had known to be Lena's for some time now.

"Hey," Lena greeted as she opened the door to Kara. "How'd you get her so fast?"

"I was nearby." _Another lie, well done Kara. You're going to tell her anyway, so why'd you lie?_

"Okay." Lena seemed slightly sceptical of Kara's response but brushed it aside because she knew something was causing her friend to feel distressed. "Well, come in," Lena opened the door further so Kara could easily walk inside.

Even though Lena had told Kara to just make herself at home whenever she came over, Kara felt it would be wrong of her to do that now - given what she planned on telling her - so she waited until Lena directed them somewhere.

"Come on," Lena ushered Kara towards the couch and sat down, Kara quickly followed behind and sat down beside Lena, about a foot of space between them. "What's wrong, Kara?"

_Just tell her, she deserves to know._ "Everything," Kara abruptly stood up and paced back and forth in front of Lena, "and everything that's wrong is all my fault. And the worst part is, I've had plenty of opportunities to fix it, but I didn't. I just continued lying and lying and now… when I tell you, you'll hate me and that kills me, and I can't even blame you for hating me, because I hate me for lying about everything." At the end of Kara's mini speech, she sat back down on the couch - still keeping space between herself and Lena - and buried her face in her hands.

"Kara," Lena softly said as she moved closer to Kara, "I won't hate you." She wrapped an arm around Kara's shoulders. "I could never hate you."

"But you will," Kara answered, slightly muffled by her hands.

"No, Kara. You are my best friend, I could never hate you."

Kara looked up and met Lena's eyes. She could see that she truly did mean what she said. But Kara knew that Lena would hate her because there is no way Lena is expecting her to say that she's Supergirl. Kara can't even blame Lena - not that she ever would. She's the one who lied to Lena and she's the one who continued to lie even though they were becoming closer.

In spite of all of this, Kara couldn't help but lean closer to Lena. She did it slowly so as to give Lena the chance to pull away, but Lena didn't pull away, she leaned in too. Kara knew this was wrong. She was doing everything in the wrong order. She needs to tell Lena that she's Supergirl _first_. She doesn't want to betray her again, because if she does kiss her, and she doesn't tell her she's Supergirl, there's no way Lena would ever forgive her; and Kara would never forgive herself if she did that.

Leaning in still, Kara couldn't help but think about how right this felt: her and Lena, potentially about to start something great. But she knew, deep down inside, she knew that this was not right. Lena deserved to know everything. Absolutely everything.

_Don't do this, Kara. This isn't right_ , Kara mentally chastised herself, _I need to tell her._

Just as their lips were about to meet, Kara brought her hand to Lena's shoulder, stopping the both of them in their gradual approach.

"Wait," Kara said against Lena's lips, "I need to tell you something first."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A couple things to end this chapter off. First, I'm sorry for leaving you on a cliffhanger and I'm sorry that I probably won't be updating for at least three days. 
> 
> Second, the idea to have them about to kiss only for Kara to stop it saying "I need to tell you something" came from a Tumblr post I saw. It was a text post where someone said that a really good idea for the mid-season 4 finale would be to have Kara and Lena about to kiss only for Kara to stop them and say "Wait, I need to tell you something," and then end the episode. I've spent a solid hour trying to find that post again but I couldn't and now I feel bad that I can't give this person the credit they deserve. So, if you happen to find the post, link it in the comments or something like that because I would seriously love to give them the credit they deserve.
> 
> Again, sorry for the cliffhanger and I hope you enjoyed :)


	9. Sometimes The Truth Hurts

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter isn't quite as long as previous ones, but the next one should be a bit longer since it has more to cover. Anyway, sorry in advance for any mistakes and I hope you lovely people enjoy :)

Honesty is the best policy, right? That's what everyone says so, therefore, it must be true. But being honest isn't made right just because everyone says so, it's just common sense that being honest _is_ right. Because, no matter how much the truth may hurt, lying is _always_ going to hurt more. Why? Because you're betraying someone on your _own_ volition - lying means you _chose_ to betray someone's trust, and that's a terrible thing to do. This can still apply even if you do tell the truth, especially when you've been lying for so long.

The closer you get with someone, the more forthcoming you should be - especially if the person you're getting closer with has been hurt before. Because you lying to someone who’s been hurt repeatedly by people close to them, is just going to cause more pain, and make it harder for them to trust again.

But no matter what, telling the truth is always better than lying, even if you think you're sparing someone's feelings.

 

* * *

 

"Wait," Kara said against Lena's lips, "I need to tell you something first."

Lena was slightly confused - and a little concerned - because she and Kara were just about to kiss, right? So what must Kara need to say? "Okay?" Lena answered as she gave the blonde's hands - which she hadn't realised she'd grabbed - a squeeze.

"I am so sorry that I left telling you this for so long," Kara looked up at Lena, a sorrow filled expression on her face. "I should have told you years ago, and that's nobody's fault but my own, but please know, Lena," Kara squeezed their joint hands, "I trust you so much, Lena, and my intention was never and will never be to hurt you, but I need to tell you this now, because of you know," Kara freed one of her hands and gestured to herself and Lena - Lena smiled a little at her friend's shyness.

"Kara, what's wrong?"

Kara took a deep steadying breath before she spoke, "My name isn't Kara Danvers, it's Kara Zor-el, and I'm from Krypton."

Recognition spread across Lena's face as she withdrew her hands from the blonde's and into her own lap. Lena's smart, she knew what Kara was going to say next - Lex would talk nonstop about Superman, so she knew he was from Krypton too.

"I'm Supergirl."

Lena sat on the couch in silence for a moment, trying to process what she had just been told. Many emotions flooded through Lena as she tried to process and understand everything, the most prominent being confusion about being lied to and the anger that inevitably came with it.

"What?" Lena said even though she'd heard Kara perfectly the first time she'd said it.

"I'm Supergirl."

Even though Lena knew Kara's answer wasn't going to change, she still found more anger bubbling up inside of her at the revelation. Lena found that sitting so close to Kara became too much after she'd just learnt that Kara had been lying for their entire friendship, so she quickly stood and distanced herself from Kara. She ran her hands through her hair in frustration still trying to process it all.

"This whole time?" Lena questioned as she turned back to face Kara who was still sitting on the couch.

Kara nodded at Lena's question as she looked back up at Lena.

"This whole time you were Supergirl," Lena's voice began to rise in anger, "all those times I was venting to you about how Supergirl betrayed me and how I could never trust her again. And then," she stared directly at Kara as she spoke, "when I confided in you about why I could never trust Supergirl again, you just sat there, nodding along and agreeing even though you are _her_."

"Yes," Kara responded.

Even though Kara's simple response shouldn't anger her, it did. "So why didn't you tell me?" she yelled, "You know how important trust is to me, and yet you lied. You lied over and over again directly to my face. Why didn’t you tell me?" she said with her hands on her hips in a pose that showed just how angry she was.

"I know it's selfish of me, but you make me feel normal. When everything in my life was going wrong or something just wasn't working out, I always had you. Even though I'm a refugee on this planet, you made me feel like an Earthling.

"When I first got here I found fitting in really hard, even as I got older things got better but I still felt like an outsider. But never when I was with you did I feel like an outsider. You didn't see me or treat me differently because of my powers. You don't see me as a Super, Danvers or Zor-el, just Kara, and that's really refreshing."

"I wouldn't have seen or treated you differently, Kara," Lena said almost desperately but still shouting. "You're the first person to treat me like an actual human being and not just some Luthor. You had unwavering trust and faith in me, even when nobody else did. So I would never, ever treat you differently."

A tense silence fell over the room. Kara was still sat on the couch, fiddling with her hands as she looked at Lena; and Lena stood in the middle of the room, hands on hips and breathing deeply after all her yelling. After a minute or two, Kara broke the silence.

"Lena," Kara stood so she was closer to Lena but still at a respectable distance, "I'm so sorry I didn't tell you."

Lena looked at Kara in mild disbelief. "You're sorry? You think a simple 'sorry' is going to fix this? You betrayed me. You took the trust we once had and obliterated it. 'Sorry' is not going to fix this. If I'm ever going to forgive you, and I'm not saying I will, I'm going to need time and a whole lot of space."

"I understand," Kara said while nodding.

"I think you need to leave now," Lena said after another tense silence had passed.

Kara nodded as she moved to the door. Before she left, she turned around to face Lena once more. "I know this is going to take time, and I respect that. So, when or if you're ready, I'll be here," Kara said softly before she closed the door and left.

After she left Lena's building, she quickly ducked into a deserted alleyway, changed out of her civilian clothes and into her super suit, and took off into the night skies.

Even though Kara knew Lena was going to be angry - and rightfully so - it still hurt her, so going on a night-time fly seemed to be the best thing she could do. Flying had been something Kara could count on for so long now, it was always something she could find comfort in - coming second to being with Lena. In spite of this, Kara could find no comfort in her flight. She was hurting all over and she didn't feel weightless like she usually did whenever she flew.

She felt weighed down by everything that had just happened. She knew it was here fault the Lena was hurting so much, and she would never try and pass the blame. Even though it made no sense, Kara felt as though she could feel Lena's pain, and that's what was killing her: knowing that she'd caused her best friend, whom she loves more than anything, so much pain.

But still, Kara flew higher and higher into the sky, hoping that it would provide her with some form of relief from all the pain she was feeling.

She got to a certain point where she knew she had to stop. She knew she couldn't fly any higher or she would run out of air. So, she stopped flying higher and higher, and instead stopped and hovered in the sky, enjoying the fact that she could no longer hear anything except her own breathing.

 

* * *

 

After Kara left, Lena continued to stand in the middle of her living room, still attempting to process everything that had just happened.

Kara's Supergirl. Kara didn't tell me. Kara lied to me.

Deciding that she didn't want to think about that anymore, Lena moved over to her liquor cabinet, forgoing her usual bottle of scotch for something much stronger. Even though Lena knew that drinking is not a way to solve her problems, she was hurting and needed something to dull the pain and make her forget, even if it was just for a little bit.

Several glasses later, Lena found herself in her kitchen sitting on the floor while leaning against the cabinets.

Even though her apartment was empty by comparative standards, everything still reminded Lena of Kara. From where she was sitting, Lena could see into her living room and could see the fuzzy orange blanket draped across the back of her couch from where Kara had left it after one of their movie nights.

She took another mouthful of the liquor, straight from the bottle this time, as she looked away from the blanket and to a small table against the wall. The table had various little knick-knacks on it, all things that Kara had given her over the years, as well as a few framed photos of her and Kara.

Lena ungracefully stood up from the floor and took herself and the bottle over to her bathroom in hopes of seeking refugee from reminders of Kara.

She didn't find any comfort in being in there because as she stood at the double sink she looked to her left and saw the bright green toothbrush she'd given Kara after another one of their movie nights as well as several blonde coloured bobby pins.

"I can't be here right now," Lena said to herself as she left the bathroom, leaving the half-empty bottle on the counter, and headed out to the kitchen where she'd left her phone.

She picked it up and quickly dialled the number she was looking for.

"Hello, Lena?" Sam said through the phone, her voice rough with sleep.

"Sam, I need to come out and stay with you guys for a bit," Lena quickly said.

"Um, sure. Why?"

Lena sighed before responding, "Look, I don't want to talk about it over the phone. Can I just tell you when I get there?"

"Of course," Sam honestly replied. "I'll see you in a bit."

"See you soon, Sam." Lena quickly ended the call and bought a plane ticket that would be leaving within the next four and a half hours. Lena quickly packed a small bag with minimal clothing and toiletries, before leaving her apartment and heading to the airport.

Lena needed to think and process everything and she knew that she was never going to be able to do that while surrounded by so many things that reminded her of the friend that had betrayed her trust. So she left.


	10. The Lies That Hurt The Most

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, here's another chapter. I do apologise in advance for any mistakes. Hope you enjoy it :)

It was nearing six o'clock in the morning by the time Lena's flight landed. She'd left her apartment less than two hours after Kara had left and then spent an hour and a half in the air, flying out to see Sam and Ruby. Despite the fact that she was hurting because of everything that had happened, Lena found that she was looking forward to seeing Sam and Ruby again.

She'd spoken to Sam several times since she'd left National City with Ruby, but talking on the phone isn't the same as having a conversation face-to-face. So, as she sat in the back set of the cab she'd gotten at the airport, a small smile crept across her face as she looked out the window, watching the buildings and other cars whiz by.

Eventually, the number of high rises Lena could see out her window decreased and the spacing between houses increased. She knew she was fast approaching her friend's house, so she sat upright and got her money ready to pay the driver.

When the car pulled up beside the curb out front her friend's house, Lena handed the money over to the driver - giving a generous tip. She grabbed her bag from the seat beside her and thanked the driver as she climbed out of the car and walked up to the front of the house.

Lena approached the front door and quickly knocked. It was less than a minute when she heard the familiar sound of locks turning and the door quickly opened after that.

"Hey," Sam greeted with a smile on her face, "come in." She stepped aside to allow Lena to enter.

"Hey, Sam," Lena greeted back - though not matching her tone - as she gave her friend a hug before walking inside.

"Kitchen is at the end of the hallway. Make yourself at home, I'll be back in a minute, I've just gotta go wake Ruby up."

Sam left to go up the stairs and wake her daughter up while Lena walked down the hallway towards the kitchen.

She pulled out one of the barstools around the island and dropped her bag to the ground beside her chair and pulled out her phone to notify her assistant - Jess - that she wouldn't be coming into work for a couple of days.

Sam quickly reappeared and started shuffling around the kitchen. "Ruby'll be down soon, you know how teenagers are with their sleep," Sam laughed as she started making some coffee. "Did you want some?" she questioned while grabbing mugs.

"Yeah, that'd be great actually," Lena smiled at her friend.

"So," Sam began as she placed the mug of coffee carefully in front of Lena, "what brings you here?"

Lena sighed as she wrapped her hands around the warm mug. "It's just, everything in National City got so… messy. I just needed to get away from it all for a while," Lena took a sip of the coffee as her friend looked at her, trying to deduce what had happened.

Sam wasn't an idiot, she had eyes and ears, so she had a feeling she knew what had made Lena leave National City for a while, but she wasn't about to confront Lena with it - she didn't want to scare her off.

"Well, good thing we've got all day," Sam took a sip of her own coffee.

"Don't you have work, I don't want to burden you with my problems."

"Nonsense," Sam waved off Lena's concerns. "When you told me that you were flying out I took today and tomorrow off."

"You didn't have to do that."

"Really, it's not a problem, besides, I'm long overdue for some time off anyway."

"Thank you."

"As I said, it's not a problem."

Lena did fully intend on talking to Sam about everything, but she decided that she'd tell her later. As much as she loves Ruby, everything that had transpired in the twelve hours prior to her arrival, were not things that she needed to be burdened with.

"Good morning, sleepy head," Sam said while looking over Lena's shoulder at Ruby who had just emerged from the hallway.

"Morning," Ruby replied while moving to the pantry to get the box of cornflakes. "Aunt Lena," Ruby said surprised as she hadn't seen Lena when she first came into the kitchen, due to her sleepy haze. "What are you doing here?" she went to give Lena a quick hug before returning to her task of preparing herself a bowl of cereal.

"I just came out for a visit. Hope that's alright," Lena said.

"Of course it is, it's great to see you by the way," Ruby smiled as she poured the cornflakes into the bowl followed by the milk.

In the hour between when Ruby got up and had to leave to catch to bus to school, the three ladies caught each other up on their lives - Sam and Lena not discussing the real reason for Lena's visit.

"Alright," Ruby said as she threw her bag onto her back, "I'll see you this afternoon. Bye," she waved goodbye as she made her way to the front door and left for school.

"So," Sam began once the front door was closed, "are you going to tell me what happened in National City to cause you to fly out here?" she asked while she rinsed out the bowls and cups to be washed later.

Lena sighed as she fiddled with the loose piece of thread on the placemat in front of her. "It's just," she started out somewhat angrily, "Kara."

"Ah, I see," Sam said in understanding. "What happened?"

"She lied to me," Lena looked back up at Sam, "and it wasn't some small white lie, it's huge - something that you tell your best friend."

Sam couldn't be certain that she knew what the lie was, but she'd been close friends with Kara before she left National City, so she's almost certain she knew what it was.

"Well," Sam slid into the seat beside Lena, "did she tell you why she lied?"

"Yes," Lena answered flatly.

"And?" Sam urged her on.

"And I feel like I can't hate her for lying. I know why she lied, I'm just hurt that she felt like she had to because she thought I would see or treat or differently."

"Lena, I know you and Kara are really close, but your feelings are valid. There's no right or wrong way to feel, you should just feel what you need."

"I know," Lena paused briefly to think, "I know there's no right or wrong emotion, it's just… I don't know how I can hate or be angry at someone who does so much good."

It clicked for Sam at that moment. She'd always had her suspicions about Kara and Supergirl being the same person but never voiced her thoughts because one, she couldn't be conclusively sure; and two, even if she was right, it's not her place to say it. "Okay, Lena, I know Kara's a great reporter and writes well thought and fair articles, but when you said she does so much good, you weren't talking about that, were you."

Lena sat upright at this. She'd long since dropped her walls when she was around her closest friends, and would properly relax when around them. But Lena knew that Sam had figured out Kara's big secret, and as angry as she was at Kara, telling Kara's secret was not the right thing to do, nor was it her place.

But Sam was smart and intuitive, so even if Lena denied it Sam would still know even if she believed Lena's denial. "You know, don't you?"

"Yes."

"How long?"

"Well, I always had my suspicions that Kara was Supergirl, and it only became more obvious the more time I spent with you and Kara, both when she was and wasn't Supergirl."

"Oh. So basically everyone important in Kara's life either knew she was Supergirl or thought she was."

"Lena, you are important to her."

"I used to think that too."

"Lena, I know your upset, angry and everything in between, but don't think that you aren't important to Kara. I'm not saying that you must talk to her or that you must forgive her, but you do need to know that you are important to her. That being said," Sam perked up and smiled, "you could probably use some time to relax and try and forget about everything that happened. So, I suggest retail therapy and lunch."

"That does sound nice," Lena said, her angry fading for the moment.

"Good, because I also need to get groceries and grocery shopping is really boring by yourself," Sam ran off down the hall before Lena had a chance to change her mind. "Be ready to leave in ten minutes, I've just gotta change."

"Take your time," Lena called out as she laughed at her friend's antics.

Lena enjoyed the rest of her day with Sam. They'd gone and looked at a few different shops before lunch, neither of them actually buying anything; and then stopping at a small café for lunch before they went to the grocery store to pick up the various items that Sam needed.

The day quickly came to a close and long after Ruby had gone to bed (it was a school night after all, so it's not as though she could stay up into the early hours of the morning), Sam and Lena were sitting outside on the porch attached to the house.

Neither one of them had said much to each other, mostly just enjoying the sounds that came with late nights.

"So," Sam eventually broke the comfortable silence that had formed, "why did Kara keep it a secret from you for so long?" she asked, not needing the specify what the secret was - they both knew. Sam didn't want to invade the privacy of two of her friends, but she also wanted to make sure that Lena was okay.

Lena sighed. "She said that she never felt like an outsider with me and that when we were together she didn't feel like there was any pressure to be someone or to do something - she just felt like Kara," Lena said while looking out at the dark backyard, taking a generous sip of her wine, "and she said that she was afraid of losing that."

"I see," Sam said as she looked over at her friend, "so you _are_ important to her."

"Well, if I am why'd she lie to me," Lena snapped. Realising what she'd done, Lena quickly backtracked. "Sam I am so sorry, I shouldn't have snapped at you like that."

"Relax, it's fine. I don't enjoy it when people snap at me, but I have a teenager so I am used to it," Sam reassured with a warm smile. "Also, I think it's good that you're expressing your emotions - it's not healthy to keep everything bottled up."

"Thank you for being nice."

"You don't have to thank me for that, that's what friends do: they're nice to each other. Now, on that note, I am giving you free reign to vent."

"Excuse me?" Lena asked in bewilderment.

"You heard me. You're obviously upset and angry about this, and those feelings should not be kept inside you. So, vent."

Lena looked at Sam sceptically for a moment before she spoke again. "It's just… she says that she trusts me and that she never wanted to hurt me, and yet she lied. She knows how I feel about lying and how important trust is to me, but she still lied. And everyone says that I'm important to her - and I really want to believe that - but she didn't tell me because she thought I'd see or treat her differently."

Lena stood and paced around with one hand on her hip and the other moving around, trying to gather her thoughts. "How can I trust someone who thought that about me? I mean, I'm glad that she told me before we kissed, that would have been bad otherwise. But the point is tha-"

"Wait, what!" Sam exclaimed, quickly cutting Lena off.

"What?" Lena asked as she stopped her vent and faced Sam.

"What did you just say?"

"How can I trust som-"

"No, no, after that," Sam was rapid in her response.

Lena thought for a second and then her eyes went wide when she realised what she'd just said. "Oh, we almost kissed," Lena said, a little shocked herself. She'd almost forgotten that had happened after everything Kara had told her.

"Yeah. Do you think that could also be why you're angry about this?" Sam asked gently.

Lena had confided in Sam about her feelings for Kara, and Sam did have a set of eyes and ears, so she well aware that Lena's feelings were more than mutual. She just hadn't realised that either one of them had decided to act upon those feelings.

"No," Lena flatly answered. "Maybe," she corrected. "I don't know," she huffed, dejectedly sitting back in the chair. "I know I'd still be angry at her even if I didn't have these feelings for her. Because at the end of the day she lied to me - she broke my trust."

"I know that it's always going to hurt when someone lies to you," Sam said gently, "but I also know that it hurts a whole lot more when the person who lies to you is someone you love."

"Yeah, maybe."

"Look, I'm not saying you have to figure everything out right this second or in the next two days, so, why don't you stay out here for a while. You'll be away from everything and I think it'll be really good for you to have some space to think."

"I can't, I have L-Crop to get-"

"Lena, you work more than anyone I've ever met. You deserve a break and you _need_ a break. L-Corp will be fine."

Lena thought for a moment before responding. "Okay," she smiled tiredly at her friend.

"Good. Now," Sam quickly stood and grabbed their empty wine glasses in one hand and the bottle in the other, "you're tired and I made the guest bedroom up when you said you were flying out. So go to sleep, and try to forget about everything for a while."

"Thank you, Sam."

"Of course."

After she'd turned her phone off, at Sam's insistence, Lena laid down in bed and for the first time in more than twenty-four hours, felt the tired set in. She hadn't slept in two days, so as soon as her head made contact with the pillow and she'd close her eyes, Lena feel into a dreamless sleep - letting all of her concerns and worries leave her, at least for the time being.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading. I'd love to hear your thoughts :)


	11. Things Can Get Better

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, sorry for any mistakes and hope you lovely people enjoy :)

Kara's alarm is what woke her first. She knew she should probably get up and get ready to head into work, but she really couldn't be bothered, and she knew that her reason why she couldn't go into work was foolish but that didn't stop the pain that came with it.

She had been lying to Lena for the entirety of their friendship and then the night prior to her being awoken by her alarm, she had told Lena everything. She'd told Lena her real name, where she was actually from and who she actually was.

Kara laid in bed staring up at the ceiling with the alarm on her phone blaring in the background as she debated whether or not she should get up and head into work or just call in sick. She knew that reporters couldn't afford to take the day off - the news never rests - but she also knew that she'd probably just mope around for most of the day if she did go in.

Deciding that going into work and more than likely getting yelled at by Snapper is not what she needed, Kara grabbed her phone and called in sick - the gentleman on the other end sounding surprised because in the entire time Kara had worked for CatCo, she'd never once called in sick. Kara did the same for the DEO, obviously not saying she was sick but that something had come up, and that if it was absolutely necessary she would be available.

Kara tossed her phone to the other side of her bed. She did feel guilty for calling in sick, but deep down Kara knew that she wouldn't be able to focus properly had she gone in. Knowing that she'd probably just make more mess for herself to clean up the following day.

She sighed and turned over on her side, attempting to block the sun and get some more sleep. She loved the way that the sun felt on her bare skin but she hated the way that it would rudely light up her room in the morning when she was trying to sleep. So she pulled the duvet up and over her head, sleep eventually taking hold.

Kara next awoke to an incessant knocking on her front door. She grumbled and rolled onto her back, sitting up on her elbows so she could use her x-ray vision to see who was at her door.

When Kara saw that it was Alex on the other side of the door she sighed and flopped back down on her bed. It's not that she didn't want to see Alex, Kara just felt like being alone for a little while, which seems childish but it's what Kara needed.

"Kara!" Alex called through the door as she banged on the door a few more times for good measure. "Kara, I know you're in there. Now open up." Alex stood in a pose that would strike fear into people. Alex knew that Kara could see her, and she wasn't above using that to her advantage to get her sister to open the door.

Kara knew that Alex wouldn't leave, and it was one of the things Kara loved about her sister. As annoying as it can be, having a sister who cares as much as Alex does, is something that Kara would never trade.

Kara quickly checked her phone for the time before she got up. She saw that it was nearing eleven o'clock and was instantly reminded that she hadn’t eaten in twelve hours. While she was glad that her sister had come to see her because she does care (Alex didn’t have to share her reasons for Kara to know why she was stood out front her door, she just knew), she also hoped that Alex had gotten something to eat.

Kara made quick work getting to the front door and opening it for Alex to enter.

"Hey," Alex greeted as she entered the apartment and set a white paper bag on the countertop. Kara quickly x-rayed it and was glad to see that her sister had gotten her a cheeseburger and fries (several cheeseburgers actually because of her incredibly fast metabolism).

"Hey," Kara curtly responded as she opened the bag and took out the food. Sometimes Kara was amazed that her sister knew just what to get her. Alex hadn’t even spoken to Kara since the night prior and yet she knew that Kara was upset about something, hence the cheeseburgers and fries.

"So, you gonna tell me what's wrong?" Alex asked as she pinched a fry.

"What'd you mean?" Kara asked around a mouthful of cheeseburger, attempting to feign innocence.

"Kara, I'm not going to sit here and force you to talk to me, but I know that something's wrong. You know, as Director, I get told when someone isn't coming in, especially when that someone is you. So, I also called over to CatCo and discovered that you'd called in sick."

"Yeah," Kara shrugged, again trying to feign innocence in an attempt to mask her feelings of sadness, "I was exhausted and felt like I needed a break."

"I don't think that's why," she looked at her sister square in the eyes, "but like I said, I won't force you to talk to me, I just think it would be good if you did talk to someone."

Kara could see that her sister only wanted to help, and she knew this too from years spent with her. She also knew that it's more than likely that Alex was already aware of why Kara had called in sick. Kara had left Alex and Maggie's apartment with the newfound realisation that she's in love with Lena, and the following morning she's calling in sick and eating cheeseburgers and fries - it didn't take a genius to figure out that something had happened.

"Do you wanna talk about it?" Alex asked gently as she pinched another one of Kara's fries.

Kara nodded in response as she put her cheeseburger down in favour of a glass of water that Alex proffered.

"What happened after you left me and Maggie last night?"

"I was initially going to go see Lena and, you know talk to her, but I panicked and started freaking out that I hadn’t told Lena that I was Supergirl, so I flew home instead."

"Okay," Alex nodded in understanding, urging her sister to continue.

"Then when I got home I started panicking more that I hadn’t told her. I planned on trying to just go to sleep and think everything through with a fresh mind but I couldn't. I couldn't keep lying to her. So," she took another sip of her water, "I went over to her apartment. I planned on telling her I was Supergirl first, but then I started freaking out again and I lost track of everything and started leaning in to kiss her."

"You didn't, did you?" Alex asked in mild concern. She knew how important trust was to Lena. So she knew Lena would be more hurt if Kara had kissed her and not told her about Supergirl than if Kara had just told her she was Supergirl.

"No," Kara was quick to respond. "No, I stopped before we could. Then… then I told her that I'm Supergirl."

"Okay, and how'd she take it?"

"She was hurt and really upset, obviously. But she doesn't hate me, at least I don't think she does, she just asked for time and space."

"I'm sorry, Kara," she came round the island to give her sister a hug, "it's fair that she's hurt but you need to know that you didn't have to tell her."

"But I should have, Alex. She's my best friend and I should have told her."

"I get that, Kara, I really do. But just because she is your best friend does not mean that she was entitled to know. I get that you two are close but I don’t want you to feel like you had to tell her."

"But she wouldn't be hurting as much if I had told her in the beginning."

"Maybe, but that doesn't mean that she had to know."

After a moment of silence, which was neither tense nor comfortable, Kara spoke again. "Um, I don't mean to be rude, but I just want to be alone for a little while. You know, just have some time to myself and try clear my head."

"Okay," Alex nodded at her sister, understanding her desire to be alone. "Well, you can call or text if you need or want anything," she gave Kara a hug, "things will get better Kara. Things seem pretty bad now but things only get better with time."

Kara nodded at Alex, not fully believing what she'd just said.

"Bye, Kara," Alex said before she closed the door behind herself.

Kara moved to sit in front of the TV a short while after Alex had left and she'd finished her food. She opted to put on some sitcom from the 90's that would act more as background noise than anything else. She laid down on her couch and curled up in the blanket that was thrown over the back of the couch.

Normally, when Kara felt this way, she'd tune into a comforting sound, that sound being Lena's heartbeat. However, with everything that had transpired, Kara felt that it would be wrong if she did this - not that it had ever stopped her before - but it now felt like Kara would be invading Lena's privacy if she did this. As soothing as her heartbeat was, Kara wasn't about to go and further ruin their relationship by invading Lena's privacy.

With this in mind, Kara decided to just tune everything else out, except for the ambient noise from her apartment and the sitcom that was running in the background.

 

* * *

 

It was a week before Lena decided to fly back to National City. Spending time with Sam and Ruby had certainly helped, especially since Sam had been kind enough to let her vent, but Lena knew that she couldn't avoid her problems forever. A time would come when she just needed to face them head-on.

It was the morning that Lena would be flying back to National City, and she and Sam were sitting in the kitchen and finishing up their breakfast.

"Alright," Sam got up from the chair she had been sitting in and put her bowl and cup in the sink, "I'm just gonna have a quick shower." She started moving towards the hallway to go up the stairs before Lena stopped her.

"Hey, Sam?"

"Hmm?" Sam stopped and turned around.

"Thank you for letting me stay out here with you two."

"It's honestly not a problem," Sam smiled at Lena kindly. "We love having you out here."

"I'm also sorry that I got a bit annoyed that you kinda knew Kara was Supergirl before me, that wasn't right of me to get upset about that."

"That's okay, you were upset and hurt."

"Yeah, but that doesn't mean that I had a right to get annoyed by that. So, I am sorry."

"That's okay," Sam said. Even though it wasn't something she felt Lena didn't really need to apologise for, she knew that Lena felt like she had to. "I'm gonna go shower now, Ruby should be down in a bit."

"Where's my mom?" Ruby asked as she entered the kitchen a short while after Sam had disappeared to go have a shower.

"She said she's just having a shower," Lena answered as she sat at the kitchen island drinking her coffee.

"Aunt Lena?" Ruby asked as she slid into the chair beside Lena.

"Yeah?"

"I know it's not really my place, but I heard you and my mom talking during your first night here."

"Oh. What'd you hear?" Lena asked, hoping that she hadn't heard anything about Kara and Supergirl being the same person.

"Well, I didn't hear everything because it sounded kinda personal so I put some music on and went back to sleep, but I did hear you say that Aunt Kara lied to you."

Lena sighed. "She did, but it's not something I want you to worry about," Lena replied, keeping her response brief.

"Look, I know I'm young, but that doesn't mean that I don't know anything. I'm assuming that the lie must have been pretty big since you flew out here, but I think it's important to consider that, even though you two are really close, it doesn't mean she has to tell you absolutely everything. I don't want to diminish your feelings because I'm sure they're well warranted, and I'm not trying to take sides, but I do think that's important to consider."

Lena sat and thought about what Ruby had said for a moment. She knew she was hurt and upset and that those feelings are perfectly okay to have, but Ruby is right. Sure, her and Kara are close, but that doesn't mean that Kara had to tell her.

"You know," Lena smiled at Ruby again, "you're really intuitive."

"What can I say," Ruby said with a grin and shrug of her shoulders, "I'm a smart one."

The rest of the morning went by quickly, and before long, Sam and Ruby were dropping Lena off at the airport and saying their goodbyes.

"Thanks again for dropping me off," Lena said as she gave both Sam and Ruby a hug.

"Not a problem," Sam and Ruby replied.

"I'll see you two at Alex and Maggie's wedding next month?" Lena asked before she left.

"Of course. We wouldn’t miss that," Sam answered, "Would we Ruby?"

"No way would we miss it. I'm really looking forward to seeing them again," Ruby answered with a smile.

"Okay, I'll see you two then."

"Have a safe flight," Sam said before Lena left.

"I will. Bye." Lena waved at the pair before she walked away in the direction of her terminal.

The flight went by fairly quickly, and before Lena knew it they were landing in National City. Lena was glad to be back, she really did love National City, but she was slightly nervous about what would come next. She knew she should talk to Kara soon, she just didn't know when she would.

The hurt that Lena felt after finding out that Kara had kept a secret from her was fair, and Lena knew this. However, after visiting Sam and Ruby for the week, she saw that maybe she could have handled it better. What Ruby had said especially helped, because she's right, just because she and Kara are close, doesn't mean that Lena is entitled to know everything.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks so much for reading 'till the end, really appreciate it. Also, love the comments you've all been leaving, so if you have any thoughts, suggestions or something, feel free to let me know. I love reading your comments. Anyway, thanks again :)


	12. Mending Broken Things

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First I would like to apologise for the delay. I got a job so updates probably won't be as regular, I also wanted to get this chapter just right (you'll see why when you read it) so that's why it took a little longer. Anyway, apologies for any mistakes, I was keen to get this out so I haven't read through it as thoroughly as I normally do. Enjoy :)

Weddings are perhaps, one of the biggest and happiest days in a person's life. That's not to say that to have a wonderful life that you must have a wedding, because you can lead a wonderful and fantastic life without having a wedding or getting married. But, for the people who do get married, it is a pretty big ordeal.

On the day of a wedding, you start out with two people who are without a doubt in love with one another and then end with two people who have promised to love, to hold, to cherish and to trust one another, forever.

Marriage is not a promise that should be made lightly and can require careful thought. But, that being said, there are some instances where it's undeniably obvious that two people are going to be together forever, through both good and bad. You can see it when the couple looks at each other and how they behave around one another. They don't act as though the other is someone they can live with, they act as though their other half is someone they cannot live without.

So as Kara stood beside her sister as she was helping her get ready for the wedding these thoughts were running through her head. Kara was unbelievably happy for her sister, however, in spite of this, she couldn't help but feel like she was just running through the motions of her day. It almost felt as though she was stood still, and just watching everything happen around her.

Kara knew why she felt this way. It had been over a month since Kara had told Lena about her being Supergirl, and in that month she had not spoken to or seen Lena. She would occasionally find herself subconsciously seeking out her heartbeat, but she'd stop herself once she realised what she was doing - she felt like it violated Lena's privacy to be doing that now. She was aware that Lena had gone to stay with Sam and Ruby because Sam had told Alex, who in turn had told Kara, but aside from the occasional update, Kara wasn't aware of what and how Lena was doing.

Kara understood and respected why that was, but that didn't mean that it wasn't painful or that she didn't miss Lena any less. She just hoped that they would be able to salvage whatever friendship was left.

However, Kara refused to be the reason that her sister's wedding day wasn't the best it could be. Kara could see the pure and unadulterated look of happiness or her sister's face and she did not want to take that look away from her. So, she bottled up any lingering feelings of pain to be dealt with later.

_This is Alex and Maggie's day. They are getting married today and have waited so long for this. My feelings can wait_ , Kara thought just before she snapped herself back into attention, and started moving around with everyone else to get things ready before the brides were to say 'I do'.

Eventually, the chaos died down, and all that was left to do was wait. The room that had been used to get Alex ready had been emptied of everyone except for Kara, Alex and Eliza. Close friends had all dropped by throughout the early afternoon to offer the best wishes, and now only the Danvers ladies remained. Eliza was sitting in a chair, trying to ease the butterflies in Alex's stomach with friendly conversation, in spite of her own excitement; Alex was pacing back and forth with the aforementioned butterflies running rampant in her stomach, too excited to remain still for even fifteen seconds; and Kara was also trying to distract Alex in an attempt to make to time pass by quicker.

"You know, I really don’t think horror is the greatest movie genre of all time," Eliza said in an attempt to distract Alex. She knew that saying that would ignite a sisterly debate between her two daughters. Alex would instantly jump to the rescue and give every reason why horror movies were, in fact, the best movie genre. Which in turn, would cause Kara to come in and somewhat politely explain to Alex why horror movies were not the best genre, offering up comedies or kids movies to instead hold the title of 'greatest movie genre of all time'.

"Okay, first of all," Alex said while stopping her pace to face Eliza in a mock offence stance, "I see what you're doing," Eliza smirked because Alex had always been intuitive, however, she'd also always been stubborn. "And second of all, that's a ridiculous statement, and one that holds absolutely no merit."

It was at that point that Kara would usually jump in and put forward a plethora of reasons why horror movies were not the 'greatest movie genre of all time' - the main reason being that something scary can't be entertainment. And she'd always back that statement up by saying, "And I'm an invulnerable superhero, Alex, so I know what scary is," which would always be rebuffed by Alex saying, "Yeah, you're a superhero, but you're also a big softie."

However, unlike all the previous time's they'd had this debate, Kara did not jump in. She didn't put forward her reasons for why literally any other movie genre is better than horror, instead, she just hummed her agreement.

Kara's agreement threw both Alex and Eliza for a loop. They were both incredibly shocked that Kara hadn’t tried to fight more, because, despite the fact that she is not biologically a Danvers, she was still a Danvers, and as such, had the stubbornness and tenacity of one too.

Alex and Eliza exchanged a quick look. Alex knew what had happened in the past month and a bit, so she had a fairly decent idea about what could be causing Kara to seem so glum and depleted. Eliza knew too, Alex had told her so she was aware of what was happening to Kara. She hadn't told her anything too personal or huge, just that something had happened and that only time would be able to fix it.

"Could you give us a minute?" Alex quietly asked her mom.

"Of course," she nodded and gave Alex and hug and quick kiss on the cheek, "I'll go see Maggie. I'm sure she's just as excited as you."

"What's wrong?" Alex asked as she sat down on the seat beside Kara once Eliza had left.

"Nothing," Kara faked a smile, "nothing's wrong. I'm just tired as all," she tried to wave off her sister's concerns, "Supergirl and reporting have been keeping me pretty busy the past month."

"I know. So I'm going to ask again, what's wrong?"

"Alex, I appreciate that you're willing to help me, especially since today is your wedding day, but I don't want you to. We will talk, I promise, but today I just want you to have fun and marry the woman you love. I will be okay, just go and be happy." Kara smiled again, it was more real than her last one but it still acted as a mask.

Kara did want to talk, she really did, but she was not about to go and start talking about everything on the day that her sister was getting married.

"Are you sure?" Alex asked, wanting to make sure that her sister would be okay.

"Yes, Alex. Now come on," Kara perked up and returned to her usual happy and chipper tone, "you're getting married in, like, fifteen minutes, let's start acting like it."

The remaining fifteen minutes passed by slowly, but, eventually, it was time - time for Alex and Maggie to finally get their happily ever after. After the brides made their promises to love, to hold, to cherish and to trust in front of their friends and family, close friends and family stuck around for photos but everyone else made their way to the reception.

The reception was in full swing by the time eight o'clock rolled 'round, and showed no indication of stopping anytime soon. Speeches had been said, the cake had been cut and the two brides had had their first dance together, so now, the once formal gathering of friends and family to celebrate Alex and Maggie's wedding had turned into an after party of sorts. People weren't doing body shots or anything of the sort, but the lights had been turned off and a disco ball that hung from the ceiling was being illuminated by the multicoloured lights around the dance floor.

Maggie and Alex had opted for a DJ instead of the traditional band. They were all for bands, but they really wanted to enjoy their night as much as possible, and a DJ seemed to be the way to go. The DJ played all the great hits from the last four decades as well as any requests that came through.

However, in spite of the party going on around her, Kara wasn't on the dance floor with her sister, friends and family, instead, she was sitting at one of the tables that were situated between the dance floor and bar. That's not to say that she hadn't gotten up and danced, because she had. Kara had made a promise to herself that she would do whatever she could to enjoy the night and not be a wet blanket and ruin it for Alex and Maggie.

Even though Kara had learnt to control her powers a lot better than when she first arrived on Earth, the blaring music being played by the DJ was enough to make Kara leave her seat and go in search of the bathroom.

She stumbled into the bathroom, but only because she had lost her footing and the pair of shoes she was wearing had a heel slightly higher than what she would normally wear.

A woman standing in front of the mirror turned around at Kara's stumble, and Kara felt relieved when she realised she hadn't made a fool of herself in front of one of Alex's new in-laws.

"Hey, Sam!" Kara greeted as she pulled her shoes off so she could give her feet a moment to rest. Even though her Kryptonian physiology makes it so her tolerance for pain is a lot higher than the average human, after enough time, heels can start to hurt even the toughest of Kryptonians.

"Hey, Kara," Sam turned back to the mirror to finish re-applying her lipstick. "Enjoying the night?"

"Yeah, it's really fun," Kara replied. Her response wasn't entirely truthful. Yes, she was enjoying the night and it was fun, but she knew that she wasn't enjoying it as much as she could have been.

"Really?" Sam asked as she turned to face Kara while she leaned against the sink, "because I saw that you've been sitting alone at your table for the past twenty minutes."

"I'm just tired," Kara responded as she walked over to the sink to splash some water on her face.

"Sure," Sam said a little disbelievingly as she turned back to the mirror.

A silence fell between the two. It was a tense silence, but only on Kara's side. "How is she?" Kara asked after a minute had passed. She didn't need to specify who she was talking about, it was pretty obvious from everything that had happened over the previous month and a bit.

"Better," Sam answered, still looking at the mirror. "Have you spoken to her?"

"No, not since she left to visit you and Ruby."

Kara hadn't been aware that Lena had left National City until she found herself subconsciously tuning into Lena's heartbeat, only to discover that it seemed further away than usual. She'd asked Alex about it, in hopes that Lena had told her where she had gone. Alex had told her that Sam texted her saying that Lena was with her and Ruby and that she would be staying with them for a week or so. Kara was sad that Lena had left National City, even if it was only temporary, but she understood why she did, and she completely respected her decision.

"You should," Sam turned to face Kara, "talk to her I mean. You should talk to her."

"You have no idea how much I want to, but I don't want her to feel like she had to talk to me or that I'm trying to force my way back into her life."

"Look, I know it's not my business or my place to say this, but I can see that you miss her, and believe it or not, she does miss you. She might be hurt, but she does miss you, Kara." Sam didn't say anything after that, she just gave Kara a friendly smile and a quick shoulder squeeze before she left the bathroom.

Kara found herself wondering out onto the balcony that was connected to the function room. The balcony was quite large and wrapped around a corner. She didn't bother using her x-ray vision to see who else was on the balcony, so as far as Kara knew it, there was no one else outside with her.

She walked out to the edge and leant against the railing and looked up into the sky. The moon and stars were visible, but there were quite a few clouds in the sky which obstructed her view of the night sky a little bit. Kara stayed there for a little while, she could still hear the music that came from inside, but overall, she felt calm.

Eventually, she started walking the length of the deck, and even when she rounded the corner she still hadn't seen the other person that was outside too. Too caught up in her humming, Kara didn't see the other person outside turn from their current position and look at her.

The other person coughed and Kara quickly looked up, alarmed that she hadn't realised another person had been outside with her.

Kara's senses came back to her and the first thing she noticed was the familiar heartbeat that was now in her head. Then she saw the familiar face and eyes as green as emeralds, then the hair that was darker than the night but had a reddish tint when in the sun.

"Um, hi," Kara said a little shyly. She wasn't sure what she should do in the situation. Should she apologise to Lena for interrupting her and leave her be? Should she apologise for everything that had happened and then leave? Or should she just stay where she was standing and just say nothing else?

"Hi," Lena responded as she loosely crossed her arms over her chest.

The two stood in a somewhat awkward silence for a while, neither of them looked at each other. Instead, they opted to stare at the ground.

"I didn't mean to bother you. I'll just um," she point towards the door over her shoulder, "I'll just leave."

"Please don't," Lena rushed out as she took one step forward with her hand outstretched as if she were trying to physically stop Kara from leaving.

"Okay." Kara smiled softly at Lena who in turn smiled back.

 Kara wanted to say so much to Lena, she wanted to tell her how sorry she was and that if she could she would do it all differently, but she didn't say these things. She didn't want to force Lena into talking with her, so she waited until Lena spoke it her, if she did. So the two stood in another silence for a minute before either of them said anything.

"I want to say sorry," Lena said.

This shocked Kara because in no way has the entire situation been Lena's fault. Lena should not be the one apologising for everything that had happened. "What, no don't you apologise, you didn't do anything wrong. I'm the one who kept the secret," Kara quickly said

"I know that, but I'm sorry about the way I reacted." Kara was about to say something else but decided to keep her mouth shut and let Lena speak. "I think it's far that I was hurt that you didn't tell me, but I didn't have the right to say that you should have told me or that I had a right to know. It's your secret identity, not mine, so I had no right to know."

"Alex said that too," Kara started once she saw that Lena was done talking for the time being, "but that doesn't mean that I shouldn't have said anything. What I did was wrong. When I was Kara Danvers around you, you would confide in me and then when I was Supergirl around you, you weren't aware that I knew any of that stuff. So, I'm so sorry that I did that. It was wrong of me to do, and I know I didn't have to but I should have told you sooner."

Another silence engulfed the two, one that was perhaps more awkward than previous ones if only because they had both just told each other everything.

"So, what now?" Kara asked carefully.

"I don't know," Lena responded, "I've never had to deal with something like this before."

"Well, um, I don't want to pressure you or anything, but um, I would love to be your friend again. Like I'd really love it because you're, like, one of my favourite people." Lena smiled at Kara's comment. "But only if you want to be friends again, I completely understand if you need more time or just don't want to-"

"Kara."

"Yeah?"

"I would love to be your friend too."

Kara smiled brightly at Lena. She went into hug Lena but quickly pulled back when she realised she hadn't asked. "Sorry, I should've asked, I just got excited."

"Kara, it's fine. I've missed your hugs."

"You have?" Kara asked, rather shocked by Lena's admission.

"Yeah, you give the best hugs."

Kara quickly adjusted her glasses, it was a habit she'd picked up in high school whenever she suddenly felt nervous. "Well, in that case, do you want a hug?"

"I would love a hug."

After their hug, the two walked back inside together. They were both happy that they were speaking again but knew that it would take time for their relationship to get back to where it once was. And as they enjoyed the rest of the evening, laughing, joking and drinking, they ignored what had happened just before Kara revealed her secret identity. They were both well aware that they'd almost kissed but weren't quite sure when or how to bring it up. Needless to say, it was something that they would have to talk about. But, for the time being they enjoyed the night, celebrating Alex and Maggie's marriage with their friends and family.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What did you think? I'd love to know what you thought of this chapter and other chapters. Thanks so much for reading 'till the end :)


	13. Trust Takes Time

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's another chapter. Sorry for any mistakes and enjoy :)

People say that trust is like a mirror - you can always fix a broken mirror, but the cracks are still going to be there and there's just nothing you can do to fix those cracks. This can hold true in plenty of situations, and it's completely understandable and normal that sometimes, trust just cannot be restored to how it once was. However, that being said, trust can also be like a ceramic plate. When a ceramic plate breaks you can always fix it, and though it will take time and hard work, the cracks can always be fixed too.

So, even though it takes time, it is entirely possible for the trust in a relationship or friendship to return to where it once was, you just have to accept that it's not something that will be easy. For the trust to build up again, both parties have to be willing to trust again. This is exactly how Lena found herself standing in front of Kara's apartment door at a little after seven o'clock.

They were going to have one of their typical movie nights, where they'd watch some movie that Kara had deemed a classic and then a personal favourite of Lena's, and they'd eat whatever takeout food they felt like. They would continue in this cycle for several hours until it was ridiculously late or until they couldn't keep their eyes open anymore. Even though they'd done this countless times in the past, Lena still felt a tinge of nervousness and hesitancy about knocking on the door.

Yes, they'd had plenty of movie nights in the past. However, this was the first one they were having after Kara had revealed herself as Supergirl. Logically, Lena knew there was nothing to be nervous about. It was just an ordinary movie night with a friend, a friend who Lena desperately wanted to keep in her life.

It wasn't even the fact that she and Kara would be hanging out alone that had Lena nervous, because they'd started having lunch again throughout the past two weeks while they were at work, so it's not like they hadn't been alone together since everything had happened. But then again, though a movie night with a friend was a far cry from some intimate get-together, it was more intimate than a simple lunch.

Maybe that's why I'm kind of nervous, Lena thought to herself, because Kara and I haven't hung out like this since before everything happened.

Even though Lena half wanted to push their movie night to the following night, she also wanted to see her friend. She wanted to spend time with and hang out with her friend. And most of all she wanted to try and get their friendship back to where it once was.

She raised her hand and knocked on the door once then twice. It wasn't five seconds later that Lena heard Kara get up and trip, presumably because she was wearing socks that made it hard to run.

"I'm coming," Lena heard shouted through the door. "Hi!" Kara greeted happily once she had quickly opened the door all the way.

Kara quickly realised that she was staring at Lena who was standing outside her apartment, instead of actually inviting her in. "Come in!" she stepped aside to make room for Lena to enter.

"Thanks," Lena said honestly as she walked inside and stood somewhat awkwardly in the open space. Even though Lena had been to Kara's apartment plenty of times in the past, as she stood there it felt like it was the first time all over again. Yes, her and Kara had known each other for a little under three years and had grown quite close in that time, but it still felt like that first time all over again. They hadn't spoken for more than a month and when they did start talking again, they weren't quick to jump back into everything - they were slowly, but gradually, building up their friendship again.

Kara noticed this, but she didn't want to call Lena out for it, instead, she opted to invite Lena further into her apartment and talk about it later. "Do you want me to hang your coat up?"

"Sure, that'd be great," Lena answered as she slid her coat off and handed it off to Kara, "thanks."

"Not a problem." Kara was quick to hang the coat up on one of the hooks by the door. "Now, I hope you don't mind, but," Kara began as she moved to stand in front of Lena again, still keeping a respectable distance, "I thought we could watch 'Up'."

"Sounds good. Any ideas for food?"

Kara beamed at the mention of food. "I'll eat just about anything, so I'm more than happy to entrust the honour of picking dinner to you."

"How incredibly generous of you," Lena answered, quickly falling back into their usual banter.

Kara shrugged, but the grin on her face made it obvious that she was glad they were able to joke around again. "So, what'll it be?" Kara asked as she walked over to her desk and pulled out an assortment of menus from various restaurants.

"Well, I'm not really in the mood for Chinese," Lena jokingly said as she waited for Kara's shocked reaction before she continued speaking. "I'm kidding," Lena reassured once she looked up to see Kara's look of feigned horror, "partly. I know you want your Potstickers but I am in the mood for Italian."

"Who says we can't have both?" Kara chipperly said as she shuffled through the pile of menus to find the ones from Italian restaurants and the menu from her favourite Chinese restaurant. "What would you like?" Kara asked with a smile as she handed the menus to Lena.

The pair quickly decided on what exactly they would be getting. They'd gotten a little bit of everything from the Italian restaurant and Potstickers from Kara's favourite Chinese place. Since they were ordering during peak time, they were told that it would be at least an hour before their food would be ready, let alone delivered.

"So," Kara started once she had ended the call on her phone, "do you wanna watch 'Up' now?"

"I would love to." Lena's answer was honest and truthful. She hadn't actually ever seen it. It was one of the movies that Kara said was a must watch even though it broke your heart a little.

When the moved to sit down and get everything set up there was a noticeable difference between how they were acting then and how they used to. Usually, there would be some friendly banter thrown between the two, and they'd normally be laughing before the movie had even begun. They'd then both drop onto the couch, shuffling towards the centre so they could lean against one another (because Kara only had one blanket and she didn't want Lena to get cold or for one of them to miss out on the cozy experience of movie nights).

However, this time was different. There was polite talk while Kara set up the movie, but their usual friendly banter was absent. There was a noticeable distance between the two - both figuratively and literally. They didn't sit side by side as they usually would, Kara sat at one end of the couch, while Lena sat at the other. They both had their legs going towards the centre of the couch so they could each have some of the blanket covering them, but Kara and Lena were in no way touching.

Before long, there was another knock at the door, signalling the arrival of their food.

"Thank you so much," Kara said to the delivery person as she exchanged the food for some cash. "Have a nice night." She swung the door closed with her foot and made her way back into the living room where Lena was sitting.

Kara carefully placed the bags onto the coffee table. "Do you wanna unpack the food and I'll get us some plates and cutlery?"

"Sure," Lena answered as she started unpacking the food. "You know, I always wondered how you were able to eat so much."

"Yeah," Kara sat down beside Lena, still keeping a distance, "my physiology makes it so I have an extremely fast metabolism when I'm under a yellow sun."

"I remember Lex talking about that. He was fascinated with how your cousin got his powers and essentially made it his life's mission to understand everything about him."

They finished serving their food in silence, but it wasn't a silence that was uncomfortable or tense, it was a silence that they'd found themselves in plenty of times before. They were both comfortable. Both Kara and Lena could feel the shift and noticed how the silence didn't feel as heavy as it previously did, and were both glad for it.

It was well after eleven o'clock by the time the second movie of the night finished. The food had been finished and their plates sat empty of the coffee table in front of them as the credits of the movie rolled across the screen.

"Is there anything else you wanted to know?" Kara asked, breaking the silence that had formed around them several hours before.

"Pardon?" Lena turned the face Kara.

"Well, we're trying to get back to where we were, and I just thought that you might have questions about me being an alien."

"I don't want you to feel like you're obligated to tell me anything."

"No, I don't feel obligated to tell you. I want to tell you," Kara scooted a little closer to Lena, "I really want you to be able to trust me again and I feel like answering any questions you have might help with that. And as painful as it can be, I do enjoy talking about Krypton; it makes it feel like it's still alive."

"Well, I would love to hear about anything that you're willing to share."

"Really?"

"Yeah," Lena smiled at Kara, and before she could overthink it, she scooted closer to her friend.

Kara spent the next hour talking about Krypton and answering Lena's questions about the culture, technology and people. Even though part of Krypton is still alive, it does sometimes hurt to talk about Krypton; but Kara would gladly tell Lena anything she wanted to know about Krypton. She loved talking about her homeworld and she really wanted her friend back.

"I should go," Lena said as she glanced down at her watch, "it's after midnight."

"Are you sure? It's pretty late."

"Yeah, drove over so I'll be fine."

Kara did want to just invite Lena to sleep over but she didn't. As much as she wanted to, they were still working on getting back to where they were, and Kara didn't want to push Lena further away by making her uncomfortable or anything alike.

"At least let me walk you down."

"It's fine Kara, honestly. Besides, I saw you yawning throughout the last movie, and before you say you're not tired or that you can't get tired, I am aware that even Kryptonians need sleep every now and then."

"Fine," Kara relented, "just shout if you need anything though?"

"Of course," Lena smiled and gathered her bag and shrugged her coat on, "I'll see you later, Kara."

"Bye."

 

* * *

 

The weeks quickly went by after Lena and Kara's first movie night after Kara revealed her secret identity, and since then their friendship had only gotten better. They'd started having lunch every day while at work, or coffee in the mornings when they knew they wouldn't be able to make lunch. They'd started having more movie nights, sometimes just the two of them and other times with all of their friends. Game nights had also become more regular as well as nights where they'd go to the bar and celebrate something.

"Hey, Lena," Kara greeted with a smile as she walked into Lena's L-Corp office carrying a bag of food.

"Hey," Lena stood up from her desk and went to sit at the couch teat her and Kara would frequently eat lunch at whenever they were in her L-Corp office, "How are you?"

"Great actually. Snapper really liked my last article and only had minor criticism about it," Kara said as she handed Lena her lunch from the bag and sat down beside her.

"Congratulations."

"Thanks. Also, Alex isn't doing anything big for a birthday, but, she did invite us all down to the bar for celebratory drinks. So, do you wanna come?"

"I wouldn’t want to intrude."

"Why would you be intruding? Alex does want you there, she just knew that I'd be seeing you today so she told me to tell you. You don't have to come though," Kara quickly said when she realised that she might be pushing Lena, "but I know everyone would love it if you did."

"I would love to come."

"Great!" Kara smiled at Lena, "Well, we're all meeting at the bar at seven."

"I'll be there."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What'd you think? I love reading comments, so if you have any thoughts, suggestions or anything, let me know. Thanks for reading :)


	14. Everything to Lose and Everything to Gain

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey all, just wanted to apologise in advance for the inevitable mistakes. I have gotten quite busy so I wasn't able to read through this a heavily as I would have liked to. Also, thanks so much for all the lovely comments. Enjoy :)

Since Kara and Lena spoke at Alex and Maggie's wedding, their friendship had only gotten better. They'd started talking more often and having lunch frequently throughout the week. Eventually, they had fallen back into their old routine. They would text throughout the day, eat lunch together every day and hang out after work or over the weekend. They were essentially back to how they used to be, the only difference being that there were no secrets between the two. Well, almost no secrets.

They hadn't once spoken about what had happened just before Kara revealed herself as Supergirl, but it was always on the back of their minds. They had almost kissed. They were literally about to kiss and would have had Kara not pulled away.

But what really kept the thought in both of their minds was the fact that neither of them leaned away. They both leaned into it, the only reason that Kara pulled away was that she had to tell Lena that she was Supergirl, but other than that, they both wanted to kiss each other.

Kara entered the bar and relished in its familiar feeling. She quickly spotted her sister sitting at a table and made her way over to her. "Hey," Kara greeted her sister as she slid into a chair across from her, "Happy Birthday!"

"Thank you," Alex smiled at her sister and took a sip of her drink.

"Where's Maggie?"

"She offered to go get us drinks."

"But you already have a drink," Kara looked inquisitively at her sister.

"Yes, but it's my Birthday so I'm having more than one drink."

Kara raised her hands in mock surrender. "Are the others here yet?" she asked as she looked around the bar.

"Yeah, Winn challenged J'onn to a game of darts, which I don't think he's going to win. He's great at math, but I dunno, J'onn just has a knack for darts," Alex drifted off in her response when she saw that her sister wasn't paying attention, "but that's not who you were asking about, is it?"

"What do you mean?" Kara asked in an attempt to feign innocence.

"Come on, Kara, I'm your sister, do you really think I wouldn't pick up on this?"

"Pick up on what?" Again, she feigned innocence.

"Lena," Alex drew out her name, "I know that's who you were asking about."

"Whaaat, pshh. Why are you saying it like _that_ ,I was just curious where my friend was. Can I not be curious about that?"

It was Alex this time who raised her hands in a mock surrender. "Alright, fine. But I don't know where she is."

Thirty seconds later Lena was sliding into the chair beside Kara. "Hey, so sorry I'm late, I had a phone call with an investor," she started taking her coat off and hanging it over her chair, "and I couldn't get out of it. Happy Birthday, Alex," she said once she'd settled in the chair.

"Thank you. And you're not late, this is an informal gathering, so there was no specific time to meet," she reassured with a smile on her face.

"Have you had a nice day so far?" Lena asked Alex.

"Yeah. Haven't really done much, which is part of why I've enjoyed it. Maggie and I got up late and went out for a late breakfast, then mom called, and Mag's and I just kinda hung out at home until we were ready to leave."

"Sounds like a great day," Lena offered.

Time quickly passed. Maggie returned with drinks for everyone - she'd seen everyone else come in and got some extra drinks for them. Winn lost his game of darts with J'onn, but insisted that he would beat him one day. Winn then made the foolish decision of challenging Maggie to a game of pool, and though the game was all about angles and force which Winn was quite adept in, Maggie beat him.

Before long, they were all sitting back at the table, talking and laughing amongst themselves. Kara was glad that they were doing this. Everything had returned to normality with her and Lena - and it had quite a while ago - but sitting in the bar, laughing with all their friends, it felt like how it used to, the only difference being there were no secrets between the two… well, almost no secrets.

"I'm just gonna go grab another drink," Kara said while standing from her chair, "anyone else want anything?" she asked as she looked to each of her friends. When she got a chorus of "no thanks" and head shakes from everyone, she left the table and approached the bar. "Just a water thanks," she said to the bartender as she leaned against the bar.

Twenty seconds later a glass of water was in her hands. Kara still hadn't made her way back to the table, she was still leaning against the bar as she took a sip of her drink.

"Hey," Maggie greeted as she leaned against the bar herself, except facing away from the bar, unlike Kara who was facing the bar, "you okay?"

"Yeah," Kara nodded, "why wouldn't I be?"

"I don't know," Maggie knew, "you just seem a little out of it tonight."

Kara didn't say anything in response, but the look on her face said it all. Maggie could see that there was some internal conflict going on inside of Kara's head, she had a pretty good idea about what it could be, but she wasn't about to assume and push Kara away.

"Come on," Maggie pushed up from the bar and started to walk over to the pool tables.

"What are you doing?" Kara asked as she followed her sister-in-law.

Maggie turned back to face Kara, "We're going to play a game of pool. I always find it relaxing, and from the look on your face, you probably need that."

Kara shrugged and walked over to the table. She set her drink down on the edge of the table and help Maggie set the table up.

They didn't get too far into their game. Maggie had just had her third turn, she hadn't sunken any of the balls so she backed away from the table to give Kara space to work.

Kara, however, didn't react, she was leaning against the edge of the pool table and look over at the table where their friends were sitting.

It was obvious that Kara was looking at Lena, subtly wasn't one of her strong suits and it never had been.

"I think you should tell her," Maggie said as she moved to lean against the pool table next to Kara.

"But I don't want to push her away," Kara answered, still looking at Lena.

"Why would you push her away?" Maggie asked as she took a sip from her glass - she'd been drinking water for an hour by this point so she would be okay to drive home.

"Because," Kara exclaimed as if the answer were obvious. She tore her gaze away from Lena and look at Maggie, Maggie just stared at her, urging her to continue. "I lied to her and we've only really just gotten back to where we were before everything happened. And I'm afraid that if I tell her I'll just push her away."

Maggie sighed as she pushed herself up and moved to stand in front of Kara. "I know you're scared, and that's okay, but I've seen how the two of you act around each other and look at each other, for almost three years. And even after everything that's happened, I've _never once_ seen anything change. You look at her like she means everything to you, and Kara, Lena looks at you as if you are her entire world. And my god, you two are practically a married couple by this point. You see each other pretty much every day and have lunch together every day."

"But what if she's not ready to hear it?"

"I think she is."

Kara and Maggie remained where they were. Maggie stayed beside Kara in case she still needed to talk, and Kara let Maggie's words wash over her as she tried to think about what she was going to do next.

"Kara, I'm not going to force you to tell her, but I don't think you've got anything to lose, and I know you have everything to gain."

Kara smiled at Maggie. "Thanks, Maggie," she pulled her sister-in-law into a hug.

"No problem," Maggie hugged back.

Maggie left Kara alone by the pool table to let her think about everything. She could see that Kara was truly conflicted about what to do. She knew that Kara desperately wanted to tell Lena how she felt, but she also knew that Kara didn’t want to risk losing her, not after getting her back. But Maggie could also see that pure and unadulterated look of happiness in Kara's eyes whenever she looked over at Lena.

After a few minutes had passed Kara was pulled from her thoughts. Well… half thoughts and half looking at Lena who was so comfortably laughing and talking with Alex, Maggie and Winn.

At that moment, Kara felt like a camera capturing a candid moment and compiling it into her memory bank to look back on later. She loved how Lena so easily became part of their friend group; and she loved that she couldn't properly remember a time that Lena wasn't part of her life, because she didn't want to. Why would she remember something when the one person that gave so much light to her life, wasn't there when she could remember something when that person was there?

_Maggie's right_ , Kara thought, her gaze still on Lena, _sure, I do have everything to lose, but I've also got everything to gain._ With her mind made up, Kara gulped down the rest of her drink - hoping it would give her some form of courage, even though it was just water - and pushed herself away from the pool table and made her way over to where Lena, Alex, Maggie and Winn were sitting.

Kara was greeted with a 'Hello' from everyone sitting around the table as she slid into the vacant seat beside Lena.

"Having fun tonight?" Kara asked Lena quietly.

"I am," Lena honestly replied with a smile. "Probably one of my favourite night outs," she added.

Kara smiled kindly at Lena before she turned her attention back to the rest of the group. "Where'd J'onn go?" she asked.

"He kindly offered to get us more drinks," Alex supplied, her answer only slightly slurred.

"That's very nice of him," Kara replied, trying to humour drunk Alex.

"Well," Alex shrugged her shoulders, making it obvious that she was both drunk and getting tired, "I'm the birthday girl and he's not. It's only fair," she took another sip of her drink.

The night wore on, and before anyone knew it, it was nearing midnight and the bartender was announcing that they'd be closing and that everyone needed to start leaving.

J'onn had left a little over an hour ago, citing that he was much too old to be out partying and drinking into the early hours of the morning. And Winn had followed soon after, after he was practically falling asleep in the empty basket of chips they'd ordered earlier.

"Alright," Maggie stood up and grabbed both her and Alex's jackets, "I'm gonna get this lightweight home," she helped Alex out of her chair.

"Who you calling lightweight?" Alex asked, her question slurred and accusing.

Maggie laughed and shook her head as she slung her wife's arm around her should. "Come on, Danvers, let's get you home."

"You sure you're alright to drive?" Kara asked.

"Yeah, I've been drinking water exclusively for the past three hours. See you later."

"Bye, have a nice night," Kara called after her sister and sister-in-law as they left the bar.

"Where'd everyone go?" Lena asked as she slid back into her chair after returning from the bathroom.

"Home. The bartender just announced that they'd be closing."

"Oh. I suppose we should get going too."

"Yeah," Kara answered, but made no attempt at standing. It wasn't because she was drunk or anything alike, she just didn't want to move from her current position. Despite having copious amounts of space, her and Lena were sitting shoulder to shoulder, and Kara didn't want to lose that contact.

Eventually, Kara and Lena found themselves walking through the alleyway towards where Lena had parked her car.

"Hey," Kara stopped walking, "can I ask you about something?"

"Of course," Lena turned to face Kara, a warm inviting smile on her face.

"I know this is probably like _the worst_ time for me to bring this up but I really need to."

"Kara, you can tell me anything."

"You remember when I told you that I'm Supergirl?"

"Yeah?" Lena's answer was phrased as more of a question because she wasn't 100% sure where Kara was going with this.

"Well… do you remember before I told you? You know, how we almost, um… how we almost kissed?" Kara heard Lena's heart rate pick up. "If you don't want to talk about that's fine," Kara quickly added after she heard Lena's heartbeat.

"No, no. It's fine," Lena reassured. "What about it?" Lena asked, slightly unsure of herself now.

"Well, um, it's just…" Kara was now rubbing the back of her neck, "when I leaned in to kiss you, you didn't pull away," she adjusted her glasses and moved her gaze to meet Lena's, "you leaned in?" Even though it was a fact, Kara still phrased it as a question. She was unsure of herself by this point and wanted to give Lena the opportunity to get out of their conversation if she wanted to.

"Yeah, I- I did. But you leaned in to kiss me first."

"If I had kissed you, would you have kissed me back?" a small smile appeared on her face as she asked this.

The ball was in Lena's court. Kara didn't want to pressure Lena or push her away - that was the very last thing she wanted to do - so she made sure she gave Lena the chance to end their conversation right then and there.

"Yes," a small smile, similar to Kara's, was now on Lena's face.

"If I kiss you now, would you kiss me back?" Kara asked, a bigger smile on her face as she took a tentative step forward.

"Yes," Lena took a step towards Kara until they were standing directly in front of each other.

Once they were stood in front of one another, grinning at each other like fools, Kara and Lena both leaned in. They were slow to lean in, afraid that any sudden movements would scare the other off. But when their lips finally met it was like fireworks had gone off. Their kiss was by no means graphic, but it wasn't exactly innocent either. They were both desperate to convey how much they meant to each other and to make up for the fact that they'd been pining over one another for the better part of three years.

_Oh, Rao, this is the best kiss I've ever had_ , Kara thought to herself as she continued to kiss Lena. _Her lips are so soft. How are they so soft?_

Kara's arms slid around Lena's back to pull her closer. Even though she knew that the kiss would be over soon and that they'd both be going home, Kara wanted to savour and enjoy the moment while it lasted. Lena's arms, in turn, moved up and around Kara's neck.

The need for oxygen eventually forced the two to separate, but they didn't move far from one another. They remained in the little bubble of serenity that they'd created around themselves; faces only an inch apart and both grinning like ridiculously happy fools.

"Wow, Lena, that was… wow," Kara breathed out, a huge smile still plastered on her face.

"Yeah," Lena replied, equally as happy and the same big smile on her face.

They stayed there for a little while longer, neither of them saying anything, just standing and staring. Anyone who looked at them could see the obvious sparkle in their eyes and the unadulterated look of joy on their faces. It was clear, that in that moment, that they had everything they had wanted for so long: each other.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading to the end, I hope you enjoyed it. If you have any thoughts or constructive criticism I'd love to hear it - I seriously do love reading comments. Thanks again :)


	15. Taking it Slow

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Super duper sorry that this took so long to get out. Work has just been keeping me very busy. Anyway, sorry in advance for any mistakes, I didn't have much time to read through this chapter. Enjoy :)

Kara and Lena were still in their own little bubble they'd created. They were yet to say anything more, instead, they just looked at one another - neither of them wanting the moment to end. Eventually, though, all good things must end, and the sound of the bar's heavy metal door closing is what burst the bubble.

They were bought back into alertness of their surroundings, but they didn't spring apart, instead, they smiled politely at the bar patron who smiled apologetically as they left.

Once they were alone again, they turned back to look at each other with a look of happiness and uncertainty. They were both happy that the damn had finally broken, and that they'd finally kissed; but uncertain because neither of them knew what would happen next.

"So, what now?" Kara asked in uncertainty.

"Well," Lena started, but drifted off as she too wasn't really sure what would happen next.

They fell back into a silence, one that was heavy. It wasn't heavy with the usual tension that would slowly build up, but heavy with uncertainty. Neither of them was sure of what would happen next, they both knew that they couldn't forget about the kiss and go back to how things were before, but they weren't sure what to do.

"Tell you what," Lena started, "it's late, and while there is so much I want to tell you, I don't think now is the best time to do that."

"Okay," was Kara's response.

"How 'bout we say goodnight now, and talk tomorrow?"

"We can do lunch or breakfast or something. It'll be Sunday so you won't have to work."

"That sound nice," Lena smiled at Kara's suggestion, "I'll see you tomorrow."

"I'll see you tomorrow," Kara smiled warmly at Lena in return.

Though they both wanted to kiss one another before they left, they didn't. They would talk tomorrow and figure everything out, so the kissing could wait. Instead, they settled for a hand squeeze, one that carried a promise of a future to come.

Kara decided to go for a flyover National City before she called it a night, so it was well after one o'clock in the morning by the time she'd gotten home.

As she laid awake in bed, staring up at the ceiling, Kara couldn't relax. She was nervous, but not because of some deep-rooted fear. She was nervous because everything was going to change - no matter the outcome of her talk with Lena the next day, things would change - and she was both excited and nervous about that.

 

* * *

 

Morning eventually arrived, and with it a whole plethora of feelings. Sure, Kara was nervous, she wasn't sure how her talk with Lena would go, but she was excited. Their kiss the previous night had felt completely new to Kara, and not just because it was with someone she'd never kissed before, rather because it set something off inside of Kara. The kiss was soft but passionate, and it conveyed emotions that had been building for the better part of three years.

It was something new, and Kara was slightly fearful of the change that would come because even though it could be a change for the better, it was still going to be a change nonetheless.

It was a little after seven o'clock in the morning on Sunday. Kara was up and ready for the day, despite the fact that she didn't need to go into work. She'd showered, gotten dressed, made her bed and eaten breakfast.

She'd started pacing around her apartment. Her phone was sitting on the island counter, and Kara would occasionally approach her phone, ready to send a message to Lena, but would always shy away from her phone just as she was about to grab it and return to her pacing.

"This is ridiculous," she admitted as she threw her hands in the air and stopped where she was. "We kissed. I liked it, Lena liked it, so why is this so damn hard?" She walked over to her phone with determination.

She quickly grabbed it and her thumbs flew over the keyboard as she typed out a message. She didn't instantly send it to Lena as she had initially planned, instead, her thumb hovered over the send button as she read through her message for the tenth time.

She decided that the initial message wasn't right, so Kara quickly deleted it and started typing out something else, only to delete that a moments later.

"Ugh!" Kara tossed her phone back onto the bench and moved to lean against it, "why can't I type out a single text? It's my job to formulate and give words meaning."

Before her thought could get any further carried away, Kara's phone buzzed. When she saw it was a text from Lena, Kara quickly unlocked her phone.

**7:41AM LENA: Could you pleeease stop writing and then deleting your message?**

**7:41AM LENA: I keep seeing the little bubble appear and then disappear**

Kara laughed a little at this. Kara would usually just send Lena a message without reading through it twice, which would result in four proceeding texts because of some typo or miscommunication on her behalf. That would always result in some good-natured jokes being thrown her way from Lena, so it was a little funny to see Lena complaining (only jokingly though) that Kara was essentially drafting a text.

**HAHAHA :KARA 7:41AM**

**Sorry. Just tryna make sure my text is perfect :) :KARA 7:42AM**

**7:42 AM LENA: Well please, take your time. It's not like I'm dying of curiosity over here**

As much as Kara enjoyed texting Lena, speaking to her, even if it was on the phone, was always more enjoyable. So that's what she did. She quickly mustered up all the confidence she'd gained in the previous two minutes and called Lena.

"I know it's weird that I'm replying to a text with a call, but I wanted to speak to you and it's just sooo much easier to do over the phone than it is through text. Also, I couldn't figure out how to write what I want to say and that's really annoying me because it's my job to write things." Kara took a deep breath after she'd finished speaking. She smiled when she heard Lena laughing through the phone.

"Hello to you too, Kara," Lena greeted, and Kara could hear the happiness in her voice.

"Hi."

"So, what were you trying to send through?"

"Oh, right. Yeah, well, I want to talk to you about- you know, what happened last night."

"Mhmm. And what did you want to talk about?"

"Well, the kiss, obviously," Kara smiled, "it was just… I don't even know how to begin describing it. But I can tell you that it's the best kiss I've ever had. I probably shouldn't have said that. You certainly don't have to feel that way - I'd obviously love it if you did, but I don't want to pressure you. Ugh, Rao, can I start over?" Kara questioned, squinting her eyes closed in embarrassment even though she was alone.

"I think it's sweet what you said. And yeah, we should talk about that."

"Okay, great! It's Sunday, so I know you don't have work, so we could get breakfast. I mean, I've already eaten, but I'm not sure if you have because you could have just gotten up. Oh shoot, I didn't wake you did I?'

"No, Kara, I've been up since six."

"Good," Kara had a brief second of relief, "Wait, why were you up so early? You don't work on Sundays, you should sleep in, especially with how late we were out 'till last night."

"Relax, Kara, it's fine, I've had a cup of coffee and I wanted to look over some plans for a prototype I'm starting tomorrow."

"Okay, well, that's cool. But still, sleep is important."

"So, should I go back to bed now, or did you still want to go grab breakfast?" Lena feigned innocence.

"Har, har. Of course I still want breakfast, but honestly, if you want we can just talk later?"

"It's fine, Kara. I'll see at Noonan's in twenty?"

"I'll be there," Kara beamed and quickly ended the call once she'd said goodbye to Lena.

 

* * *

 

Kara was five minutes early when she walked into Noonan's. She'd spent her entire flight over, psyching herself up and trying to muster up as much confidence as possible.

Even though Kara was certain that her feelings were obvious, there were still things that she and Lena would need to talk about. She pushed through the front door and quickly scanned the room for a table to her and Lena could use, only to see that Lena was already sitting at one of the tables by the window.

Kara assumed that Lena heard the door open because she looked up not ten seconds after Kara walked in and smiled at her and raised her eyebrow in question as she pointed to the seat across from her.

"Hey," Kara greeted as she approached the table that Lena was already seated at, "I didn't keep you waiting did I?"

"No, no," Lena waved off Kara's concerns, "I've only been here for a couple of minutes."

"Cool," Kara smiled and slid into the chair across from Lena.

The pair didn't say anything for a while - they were both preoccupied with looking through their menus. Even though Kara knew what she wanted (she got pretty much the same thing every time) she still flipped through the pages, mainly because she wasn’t sure how to start the conversation that she and Lena would inevitably have.

This was the same for Lena. Even though she could switch into CEO mode whenever she needed to, she couldn't find the right way to bring up what she and Kara needed to talk about.

"Do you ladies need any more time to decide what you'd like to eat, or are you ready to order now?" A friendly, twenty-something waitress asked.

"Yeah," Lena looked up from her menu and smiled politely at the waitress, "could I just have an egg white omelette and a cup of black coffee, please?"

"Sure," the waitress wrote down Lena's order and looked to Kara, "did you want anything?"

"Yes. Could I please have a stack of pancakes, cinnamon bun and a bear claw?"

"Sure thing. The wait should only be ten minutes," the waitress smiled and walked off towards the kitchen, leaving Kara and Lena alone.

It was another minute of silence before either of them said anything again. The silence wasn't because they weren't sure what to say - both Kara and Lena knew what to say - they just weren't sure how to say it.

Kara broke the silence, however, instead of asking what she wanted to, she said something else instead. "How did you know I kept typing then deleting a message this morning?"

Lena ducked her head minutely. "I may have been trying to send you a text too,"

"Ahh," Kara smiled.

More silence.

"We kissed," Kara eventually blurted out when she couldn't take the tension any more.

Lena took a steadying breath, "We did."

"I kissed you, and you kissed me back."

"Yes."

"Where do we go from here?"

"Well, where would you like to go?"

"Honestly?"

Lena nodded her head and urged Kara to continue. "Honestly."

"I want to date you - like so bad. I think it would be the most exciting and wonderful thing. No, I don't think, I know it would. I want to have quiet nights in with you and go out for dates with you; I want to hold your hand, kiss you, hold you, and… so many other things."

Lena released a breath she hadn't realised she'd been holding. Lena knew that she had feelings for Kara, more than platonic feelings, and she'd known this for a while. If she were being completely honest, these feelings had been there since the early days of their friendship. So hearing that Kara wanted everything with her, as happy as it made her, was still a shock to her.

"Really?" Lena asked, a little unsure.

"Yes," Kara smiled at Lena in the way she only would whenever Lena was around.

"I want that too. But, I do want to take things slow."

"Slow?"

"I know it's probably annoying, but I really want this," she gestured to herself and Kara, "to work. And I'm worried that if we jump right in, it won't."

"Lena, I want you to know, that I will do anything I can to make sure that we won't ruin this," Kara also gestured to herself and Lena, "but I know why you want to. So, I'll be so slow, I'll make snails look fast."

Lena laughed. "You don't have to be that slow, silly."

Kara shrugged nonchalantly but a huge smile was plastered across her face because she made Lena laugh. "Slow," Kara responded in affirmation as she smiled and nodded her head.

"Slow," Lena agreed.

"Well, since we are taking it slow, I don't want to pressure you or rush you but, do you want to have dinner? With me? Tonight?"

"I would love to," Lena smiled.

"Great! It's a date?"

"It's a date."

Their food eventually arrived and they were able to fall into an easy flow of conversation since they'd already talked about the 'heavy' stuff. They were happy - a true and unadulterated form of happiness that neither had experienced in a long time, or known that they'd been without until that moment.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What'd you think?


	16. Something Long-Lasting

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry that this took so long, I had trouble getting the words to work. Anyway, just ignore any of my mistakes and enjoy :)

There's nothing quite like a first date. Plenty of people feel nervous or anxious, but those feelings only come from a place of excitement. It's exciting because that first date could be the start of something long-lasting, and you don't even know it, but that's also what can make it so nerve-racking.

That first date has the potential to be the start of something long lasting, so what happens if you ruin it or make a mess of it? Well then, you make a mess of it, and if you still come out of that date with a smile on your face and a desire to see that person again, then you know that that date was the start of something remarkable.

Kara was in her own little world as she stepped off the elevator and walked down the corridor towards her door - she didn't even realise that Alex was sitting in front of the door.

"'Bout time you showed up," Alex stood and Kara shook herself from her happy daze, "where were you, I thought we were trying to do 'sisters brunch' again?"

"Shot, sorry. I completely forgot," Kara quickly walked to her door and unlocked it, allowing Alex to walk inside first.

"I gathered as much," Alex said with a grin as she walked inside, quickly followed by Kara, "Where were you anyway?" She sat at one of the bar stools at the kitchen island while Kara grabbed some mugs and started making coffee.

"I went out for breakfast with Lena."

Alex perked up at this, "Oh, do tell."

Kara glared over her shoulder at her sister, "Relax would you, we just had to talk about something."

"Sure," Alex sarcastically answered, "I guess that would explain why you're all," she gestured up and down at Kara, "you."

"Excuse me?"

"Oh please. You should've seen how you were walking before. You were walking like the literal embodiment of happiness, and you had this really pure lovestruck look on your face. And don’t try and deny it."

"So what," Kara shrugged her shoulders and placed a cup of coffee in front of Alex, "I was happy, I'm always happy."

"True," Alex agreed, "but this is different," Alex stared at Kara over the rim of her mug, hoping it would make her sister break.

Kara was able to ward off Alex's intense stare, but it won eventually, "Ugh, fine," she set her mug down and leant back against the counter top, "Lena and I kissed."

Alex choked on her coffee, "Seriously? I didn't actually think you'd be the one to break that stalemate you two had going on."

"Really, is mockery all you can do right now?"

"Oh come on, it's a little funny. You've been pining over her for so long now, how can I not make jokes?" A glare from Kara stopped Alex's mockery, "Fine, sorry."

"That's okay."

"So, what happened?"

"When Lena and I were leaving the bar after everyone else had already left, it kinda just happened. And she said that it was late and that we were probably in no state of mind to talk about everything, so we agreed to breakfast or lunch the following day."

"Anything else?" Alex asked because she's sure that would have made Kara happy, but something else must've happened to make her radiate happiness.

"I asked her to dinner. Tonight," Kara smiled.

"Really? That's great," Alex rounded the island and gave her sister a hug. "I never thought you'd be the one to make the dinner plans to be completely honest, though," Alex added once she'd pulled away from the hug.

"More mockery, really?"

"Oh hush," Alex waved off Kara's feigned annoyance and took a sip of her coffee, "Where are you going anyway?" she asked.

"Um, not sure."

"Do you have an idea of where you want to go?"

"No?"

"Geez, you're really on top of this, aren't you?" Alex laughed.

"It's hard, okay. I know I really like her, and we've been friends for so long now, so I feel like we already know everything about each other. All I really just want to do is just sit inside and watch lame movies with her, but I really want to do this right, you know?"

"Kara, there is no right or wrong way to date someone. You just do what both of you are comfortable with."

"Okay, but she wants to take it slow, and I respect that, but I'm worried that a movie night isn't really slow. I feel like it implies something else."

"You mean like…" Alex waved her hands around, in hopes that it would convey what she was talking about.

"Yeah. And pressuring her is the last thing I want to do, so I don't know if a movie night is a great idea. But at the same time, I feel like a dinner at some fancy restaurant is too much as well - it's also kind of impersonal for a first date with someone you've known for three years."

"So, why don't you just do what you two normally do: have dinner at Noonan's? Then you could go on a walk or something to make it more romantic," Alex offered.

Kara thought for a moment. "I like the walk idea, but Noonan's doesn't feel very first date-y."

"That's kinda the point," Alex laughed,  "You said Lena wants to take it slow, and going to eat somewhere casual but familiar would be good. This way it feels like it's just the two of you having dinner like you normally would, except you both know it's a date."

Kara thought again, and smiled and nodded her head after a moment. "That's actually really great."

"See, sometimes it's the simple things that are the best ideas."

"Okay, cool, thanks for that."

"I'm sensing a 'but'."

" _But_ I don't know what to wear."

"What would you do without me?" Alex remarked with a smile as she walked over to the rack that Kara hung her clothes on.

"Har, har," Kara followed her sister, "Can you please help me?"

"Of course," Alex started flicking through Kara's clothes.

By no means was Alex a fashion expert, but, over the years, she had developed a pretty good sense of what does and does not work for Kara. For instance, as cool as dark clothes are, they clash with Kara's bubbly personality; and as good as juxtaposition is, dark clothes just do not work for Kara.

"Here," Alex handed Kara a blue sweater, black pants and polka dot shirt, "wear these." Kara looked at each article of clothing she had been handed as Alex explained further, "it's casual, but not too casual because you're still going on a date. Also, "she picked up the blue sweater and held it up to Kara's torso, "blue's your color"

"Thank you, Alex," Kara looked up from the clothes and smiled at her sister.

"Not a problem," Alex smiled back, "Now, are we having food or what?"

"Yes, yes," Kara started walking back to the kitchen, "I think I have some leftover pizza that I'm willing to share."

"Oh, thank you for this high and esteemed honor," Alex replied sarcastically as she dropped unceremoniously onto the couch.

 

* * *

 

It was eventually time for Kara to leave. She'd text Lena earlier in the day - a short while after Alex had left - letting her know that, unless she wanted to, Lena didn't need to get dressed up and that she could keep it somewhat casual.

Kara did a last minute check of her outfit in the mirror before she grabbed her keys, purse and phone. She stepped outside and locked her apartment door, and started walking towards Noonan's. Even though she and Lena had gone out to dinner plenty of times before, Kara was slightly nervous. This would be the first time that they'd be going out on a date, and if Kara could sweat, she's fairly certain that she'd have clammy hands.

Kara used the time it took to walk to Noonan's to steady her nerves. She had initially planned on flying over, but in the end, she decided to just do the fifteen-minute walk to Noonan's.

By the time Kara arrived out front, the sun had set and a cool breeze was setting in. It had been forecasted that temperatures would begin to drop, and the early evening breezes were the first indication of this. Just as she was about to walk inside, Kara gave herself one last nod in an attempt to ease the nerves that, for whatever reason, had seemingly set in.

Kara wasn't sure why she was so nervous. She and Lena had been to dinner countless times before, the only thing that made this dinner different, was the fact that it was a date, but that shouldn't make Kara nervous. It's Lena, and Lena is safe and everything Kara wants.

All those nerves left Kara though when she saw Lena sitting at one of the tables. It was as though a switch had been flipped, and all her nerves were gone. Seeing Lena at the table, looking so calm and absolutely gorgeous might Kara add, lifted the nerves she previously had.

_Wow. She's so pretty_ , Kara stopped for a moment and admired Lena. Kara had always known that Lena was gorgeous - she wasn't blind - but there was something different. Like, knowing that they were on a date, made all the difference in the world.

Kara shook herself out of her thoughts when she realised that Lena was smiling and waving at her. Kara smiled back and quickly walked over to join Lena at the table.

"Hey," Kara smiled brightly at Lena and sat in the seat across the table from her.

"Hey, yourself," Lena smiled back, as she watched Kara slide out of her coat and hang in across the back of her chair.

"Have you been sitting here long?"

"No, no. I got here maybe five or six minutes before you. I am surprised that I beat you here though," Lena leaned across the table and said the next part in a whisper, "I figured you would have flown."

"No, I felt like walking tonight. I am sorry that you had to wait though."

Lena waved off Kara's concerns. "So, what are our plans for this evening?"

Kara had kept Lena in suspense about what they'd be doing, she did, however, tell her that it wouldn't be anything flashy and that it would be a relaxed and somewhat casual date. Kara also told Lena to wear comfortable shoes - because she did plan on taking Lena for a nice walk around the part - and she was happy that Lena had in fact, worn shoes that appeared to be comfortable: modestly sized heel boots.

Lena was also wearing clothes that she wouldn’t normally wear out in public. Kara didn’t doubt that they were still designer labels, but they were a far cry from the usual form-fitting dresses and tight skirts that she'd usually see Lena wear. But don’t get Kara wrong, she loves seeing Lena in those clothes, but seeing Lena in comfortable, soft and warm clothes was just as lovely.

"It's a surprise," Kara answered with a huge grin spread across her face.

"Really?" Lena tilted her head to one side and smiled herself at Kara's antic, "Not even a little hint?"

"Nope," Kara shook her head and popped the 'p'.

"Fine, fine," Lena raised her hands in a mock surrender, "But I am guessing that we're having dinner here, yes?"

"Yes," Kara confirmed, "I thought it would be a nice way to start out our evening."

Dinner flew by much too quickly for Kara's liking. She very much wanted to continue with the rest of the date she had planned, but at the same time, she didn’t want the date to end, and dinner ending just meant they were one step closer to that.

"Where to now?" Lena asked as Kara helped her up and helped her into her coat.

"I thought we could go for a walk. Only if you want to though."

"That sounds wonderful," Lena took Kara's hand and squeezed it, "Any destination in mind?"

"I've got an idea," Kara smiled as she led herself and Lena out of Noonan's to the destination she had in mind.

They spoke about anything that crossed their minds as they walked, and laughed at the jokes and comments they would exchange. Eventually, though, they stopped at a very familiar building: CatCo WorldWide Media.

"What're we doing here?" Lena turned to face Kara with a puzzled expression on her face.

"I want to show you something."

"Okay?" Lena was still confused and urged Kara to continue.

"Do you trust me?"

"Of course."

Kara did a quick scan of the area, making sure there were no other pedestrians around - it was late and nearing ten o'clock at night, so the business district was well and truly empty. Kara gently tugged on Lena's hand and led her to an alley beside the CatCo building.

"Why are we in an alleyway?"

Kara moved to stand in front of Lena and gave her a goofy look. She opened her arms and nodded towards them.

"I still don't get it," Lena looked at Kara in confusion but amused nonetheless.

"I know you don't like flying," Kara started to explain, "but I thought you might like it with me. I'll go very slow, and if at any point you aren't enjoying it, I'll land somewhere. So, do you wanna go flying with me?"

Lena really didn't enjoy flying, but she could see that Kara meant her words. If she didn't want to be in the air anymore, Lena knew that Kara would land somewhere; and she knew that Kara would keep her safe. So, she smiled at Kara, "I'd love to."

"Great!" Kara's smiled widened, "Um, one sec," in a flash of speed, Kara had changed into her Supergirl suit and was still smiling at Lena.

"So, how are we doing this?"

"Right. Um, just stand on my feet and I'll fly us up."

Lena stepped up to Kara and stood on her feet. Kara wrapped her arms around Lena's waist and smiled when she felt Lena wrap her arms around her neck and rest her head against her chest.

"Are you ready?" Kara asked quietly, so only Lena could hear.

"Yeah."

Kara began slowly flying them up. She felt Lena tense up a little at the start, but after a moment, she relaxed.

"You okay?"

"Yeah," Lena nodded against Kara's chest.

Kara continued to fly them up until they reached the top of the CatCo building. She stopped flying up and started flying around the building, still mindful that she needed to go slow. As she did this, Kara started to hum an old tune from Krypton she remembered hearing at a wedding she attended when she was much younger.

Kara continued humming, and as she neared the end of the tune, she made her descent towards the CatCo roof - she timed it so she would finish humming just as she landed on the roof. The pair remained embraced as they enjoyed each other's company and the ambient sound of the city far below.

"This is nice," Lena said quietly, "Thank you."

"You don't have to thank me," she looked into Lena's eyes, "you deserve it," she smiled kindly to Lena.

Lena smiled in return to Kara. She leaned up and pressed a careful kiss to her lips, which sent sparks through them both. Time seemed to slow as they stood up on that roof, only focused on each other.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I love reading comments, so if you've got any suggestions, constructive criticism or general feedback, I'd love to hear it. Thanks so much for reading :)


	17. When Fear Rears Its Head

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alrighty, here's another chapter! Just ignore any of my mistakes (I suck at editing) and enjoy :)

It was a normal day. Just another day that had started out as any other had. Kara had woken up to her 8AM alarm. She'd laid awake in bed for ten minutes - texting with Lena because she was already at work - and finally decided to get up when the call for food had become too great. She didn't have anything flashy for breakfast, just some cereal. Then she'd left for work, so she would be able to make the 9AM meeting.

It was just a normal day. A normal day that had gone so horribly wrong.

It was a little before noon, and Kara was bouncing with excitement because she and Lena were having a lunch date. She was excited that she got to do things like that: have a lunch date with Lena. It was something she'd wanted for so long, and when she was finally able to do it, she couldn't keep the grin off her face.

Kara was just about to leave CatCo and fly over to L-Corp to have lunch with Lena when her phone started buzzing, and the caller ID indicated that it was Alex calling.

Alex had said that she needed her down at the DEO for a bit. She didn't say what for, but that it wasn't anything huge. So, Kara texted Lena, apologised that she'd be about an hour late, and promised to make it up to her; and Lena, being the awesome person she is, had no problem with Kara running late, and said that she understood.

_Gosh, I'm so lucky that she actually likes me_ , Kara had thought to herself as she dashed out of CatCo and headed off to the DEO building.

Alex was right, it wasn't anything huge.

There was a protest going on in the city centre. Amendments were being made to the Alien Amnesty Act and anti-alien supporters felt that it further diminished their rights all the while giving more rights to aliens. Kara just had to fly over and make sure nothing got out of hand.

While she didn't overly enjoy seeing people arguing like this, she respected that it was their right to protest, so she didn't interfere, instead, she just kept her distance and supervised, making sure the protest didn't become too heated. After a while, when both Kara and the DEO were satisfied that the protesters would remain civil and wouldn't cause harm to themselves or other onlookers, Kara was able to leave to go have her lunch date with Lena.

They had their lunch date, and Kara loved it. Never before had she been on a date and not felt like she was. It was just like their previous lunches had been: they'd talked, laughed, and eaten their food. The only difference was that they sat closer and Kara got to kiss Lena goodbye. Kara had turned her phone off for this, she didn't want something trivial to interrupt them; and she was too focused on Lena, that she didn't hear what was happening on the other side of the city.

Her hearing didn't pick up on the protest that was increasing in severity. For whatever reason, the protesters had gotten more aggravated and they had become more violent. But Kara didn't hear this, Alex couldn't get in touch with her and she was too focused on Lena that she just didn't hear anything else going on.

So, when Kara left Lena's office, she switched her phone back on and saw that she had eight missed calls from Alex and even more texts that all asked her to call her back immediately. She did. And when she did, her heart sank. Alex told her that the protest had picked up in intensity and that the protesters had become violent towards one another.

Kara quickly left L-Crop and returned to where the protest was, and when she did, she hated what she saw: everyone, humans and aliens alike, fighting. The DEO and city police officers were all called in, and they were able to get everything under control, albeit with mild difficulty, but they did. However, because most of the city's law enforcement officials were at the protest, crime seemed to take advantage of this. Robberies, muggings, everything seemed to be happening all across the city.

It was just a normal day, but it had gone so horribly wrong.

It was well after nine o'clock at night when everything finally settled. Supergirl and law enforcement were able to respond and stop all the other crimes that were occurring, all but one that is.

There was a robbery going on at one of the local bakeries that Kara had responded to. But she wasn't fast enough. She couldn't get there in time to stop it. When the masked burglars were making their getaway, they had stolen a nearby car and sped off down the road, completely ignoring the harm they could cause to pedestrians and other motorists.

Kara watched it happen. She saw the getaway car speeding down the road and she watched as the middle-aged woman stepped onto the road, in an attempt to cross the street.

Kara tried to speed up. She needed to grab the woman and pull her out of the path of the car, but she couldn't. She couldn't get to her in time, and because of this the car hit the woman and she died on impact.

_It was just a normal day._ Kara kept repeating this in her head as she watched everything unfold around her. Emergency services had arrived soon after, but the woman had died on impact. The burglars were arrested and taken to the closest precinct, so they could be questioned by the appropriate authorities.

Eventually, the sirens and city noises faded into the background while Kara sat on the curb, away from the view of onlookers and emergency personnel. The flashing lights of the emergency services illuminated the buildings and faces of people all around. Kara sat with her head in her hands as she thought about everything that had transpired in the past ten hours

Kara had always known just how fragile life could be, but for whatever reason, the woman dying right in front of her was having a significant impact on her. Kara had lost people before, that was nothing new, but she felt it more then than she ever had before.

She felt as though it was her fault. Had she just left her phone on while having lunch with Lena, maybe she would have been able to respond sooner. Maybe she would have saved the woman.

Kara looked around at her surroundings, the sirens and sounds of people speaking fading into nothing. Not being able to stay any longer because being around everything was a painful reminder of what had happened, she took off into the sky. Flying as high as she could manage.

She got to a point where the city's lights were little dots that were beginning to be obstructed by the clouds. The sounds faded away until all she could hear was herself. She could only hear the drum-like sound of her heat thudding away in her chest.

Kara closed her eyes and hovered there for a while, then, after some time passed, she made her descent. She continued to fly around for a while until she arrived at the CatCo Worldwide Media building. She always found great comfort in sitting at the highest point of the building and letting her legs dangle off the edge as she watched everything happen below her - so that's what she did.

However, she found no comfort this time, her thoughts only running rampant the longer she was there and alone with her thoughts. The same feeling always emerging from deep inside: fear.

No matter how much you try and force that feeling deep inside or into a dark space where it can't ever see the lights of day, it always comes back. No matter how many tiny boxes you shove that feeling into, it always finds a way to come back.

But Kara wasn't fearful for herself, she was fearful for Lena. After what Kara had gone through, she saw just how fragile life can be, and just how quickly it can be taken away. So, what are you supposed to do when that's what you do every day? What do you do when your job is to protect people, putting yourself at risk, when you could be taken away so quickly?

Kara loves Lena more than anything, and would go to the ends of the world to keep her safe and happy, but what if them being together would cause her harm?

In Kara's line of work, there's risk involved. She's a superhero who has taken on the role of National City's protector, and she would do anything to uphold that. But it's dangerous, and she could die at any given point - even though she's perceived as indestructible, she still has weaknesses.

Kara knows Lena, she knows that if she dies, Lena would throw herself into her work. She would put on a false persona that made her look okay, but she'd be falling to pieces on the inside. Lena didn't have to say it for Kara to know that. If Kara dies, she knows that would hurt Lena, and that would hurt Kara more than anything else ever could.

So, as Kara sat at the highest point, she thought that maybe stopping this relationship with Lena would be best to keep her safe; to stop her from being hurt beyond belief. If Kara put that wall up, then Lena will be able to go on even when Kara won't.

Kara left the building and, wanting to feel somewhat normal, even if it was just for a while, she landed in an alleyway and walked home instead of flying. It only took Kara half-an-hour to get from CatCo to her elevator due to the lack of people out this late at night.

When she disembarked from the elevator and rounded the corner to head towards her apartment, Kara was stunned to see that Lena was sitting at her door with her head leaning against the door frame.

From the sound of Lena's heartbeat, Kara could tell that she wasn't asleep, but that she was close. Kara carefully kneeled down beside her in order to stop her from falling asleep - as much as Kara wanted to let Lena sleep, she would get a sore back sleeping in that position.

"Hey," Kara gently stroked Lena's cheek, "what are you doing here."

Lena hadn't heard Kara approach, so she shot up when she heard her, "I heard what happened and I came to see if you were okay," she smiled kindly at Kara.

_Marry her,_ Kara thought, _No, wait. I shouldn't say that. I mean, I would marry her, but we've only been dating for a month and a half. Maybe Lena doesn't even want to get married. Oh, Rao, I should stop talking in my head and actually say something._

"Do you wanna come inside?" Kara extended her hand to Lena, all previous thoughts of marriage leaving her mind for the time being, so she could just enjoy being with Lena.

Lena smiled and took Kara's hand, allowing Kara to pull them both up. She followed Kara inside once the door had been unlocked and opened, and the pair quickly went to sit down on Kara's couch. They didn't say anything for a while, instead, they just enjoyed the serene silence and being together.

The silence did eventually come to an end, but they were still able to keep the little bubble they'd created intake.

"Do you want to talk about it?" Lena asked, maintaining the small circles she was drawing on Kara's forearm.

Kara didn't say anything, instead, she just tightened the arm she had wrapped around Lena's waist and let the thoughts of everything that had transpired over the past twelve hours wash over her.

"You know it's not your fault, right?" Lena moved to face Kara, and Kara too moved to face Lena, "You shouldn't blame yourself."

"I know, but I just feel like I could have done more, like," Kara thought for a brief second, "like if I'd just left my phone on or listened more, I could have saved her."

"Kara," Lena cupped Kara's cheek and looked deeply into her eyes, "I know you want to save everyone, but sometimes terrible things happen."

"But I have to save everyone. After everything that happened last year, it's the least I can do. It took us so long to stop Reign and because of that, more people were hurt and killed; saving everyone is the least I can do."

"Kara, none of that is your fault. I watched you do everything you could to stop Reign. I watched you fall lifelessly from the sky because of how much you care for this city, and trust me, this city knows just how much you care. I love that you care so much and that you want to save everyone, but what happened today is not your fault. You did everything you could to help, so please, don't blame yourself."

Kara nodded. Rationally, she knew that she did everything she could and shouldn’t feel like she'd let the city down, but the emotional part of her said differently. After everything that had happened with Reign and the Red Kryptonite, Kara felt like she owed the city - like she was still making up for everything that had happened.

The pair hugged for a while after that, both basking in the moment they got to spend together uninterrupted.

"If you want to leave I'll understand," Kara said while she and Lena remained embraced.

"What?" Lena laughed a little as she pulled back, "What'd you mean?"

"If you want to leave, or if you don't want to be with me, I understand," Kara looked down after she'd spoken.

"Kara, look at me," Lena said gently as Kara lifted her head, "Why would I not want to be with you?"

"What I do is dangerous, and even though I'm resilient to most things, I can still get hurt, and the last thing I want to do is make you worry or scare you when I get hurt. So, if you want to leave now, that's okay, I understand."

"Kara, I would never want to leave you. Yes, I'm going to worry about you, but that's only because I care. I know that you're careful and that you can and will take care of yourself when you're out there saving the city. So, even though I will worry, that's only because I don't want to lose you."

"You're not leaving?" Kara sounded small when she said this.

"Of course not," Lena pulled Kara into another hug, "as long as you want me, I'm never leaving."

Kara hugged back tightly and burrowed her head into the crook of Lena's neck.

They separated again once they'd both regained their composure. Kara looked behind her at the clock sitting on the counter. "Do you want to stay over?" she turned back to face Lena, "No pressure or anything," she quickly added, "it's after midnight and I know you're tired and probably don't want to spend thirty minutes getting back to your place, so, if you want, you can stay over. In fact, if you'd prefer it, I can sleep on the couch or something, and you can have the bed-"

Kara's rambling was cut off when Lena placed her hand on her forearm, "Kara, we can share a bed," she smiled at Kara.

"Right," Kara stood up, "I'll get you something to sleep in then," she darted off to grab some comfortable clothes and appeared a moment later with blue pyjama bottoms with stars and a University sweatshirt that Kara had gotten years ago. "You know where everything is, so help yourself to a shower and what not, I'm just gonna have something quick to eat, did you want anything to eat?"

Lena smiled, "I'm okay. Thank you, Kara," she gave Kara a quick kiss on the cheek and walked off towards the bathroom.

Fifteen minutes passed by the time Kara and Lena were ready for bed. The stood at opposite sides and pulled to covers back - they didn't say anything, there wasn't anything to say. Instead, they just enjoyed the normality of the entire situation: getting ready for bed together and pulling the covers back.

They climbed into bed and adjusted themselves until they were in a comfortable sleeping position. Kara was laying on her back with her arm wrapped around Lena's body, holding her close. Lena, in turn, had her head resting on Kara's chest with her arm thrown of Kara's torso and her legs tangled amongst Kara's.

Kara place a careful kiss to Lena's head, "Goodnight, Lena," she smiled as she closed her eyes and rubbed soft circles on Lena's back with her thumb.

"Night, Kara," Lena smiled and closed her eyes, fully relaxing in Kara's hold.

It looked like it would be uncomfortable - sleeping so close to someone else and having no space for yourself - but Kara and Lena wouldn't trade that for the world. To them, that was all they needed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fun fact: I actually wrote this before chapter 16 (not sure why you would want to know that, just thought I'd share it). Anyway, hope you enjoyed reading this chapter. If you want to leave a comment or something like that, I'd appreciate it - I love reading comments. Thanks for reading :)


	18. Now and Forever

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Last chapter, hope you enjoy reading it, and just ignore any of my mistakes :)

It had been two months since their first date, and since then Kara and Lena had been going strong. They'd gone on plenty more dates since their first - sometimes they'd go out to fancy dinners, and other times they'd stay in at one of their apartments and order takeout while they watched movies and talked.

It had been the some of the best two months of Kara's life: never before had she felt so completely comfortable and at home with another person. Alex had certainly always been that person for Kara, but there was something different about Lena that had a way of relaxing Kara.

Tonight, however, would be slightly different from their normal date nights. Usually, it would just be the two of them, but tonight was game night. It had been a while since their last game night - the last one they'd all gone to was a few weeks before Kara and Lena had started dating. So, both women were a tiny bit nervous about what would come of the night. They knew that none of their friends would have a problem with their relationship - they'd all practically been encouraging it since day one - but it was different that they'd be going to game night as a couple. But, despite their nerves, Kara and Lena knew that this change would be good and nice; and they both knew that they would have each other throughout the night.

"Are you ready to go?" Kara asked as she emerged from her bedroom. She went to grab her phone and wallet before she walked over to where Lena was sitting on one of the kitchen stools.

"Yeah," Lena smiled up and gave Kara a quick kiss before standing up, "nice sweater by the way - it really brings out your eyes."

Kara quickly looked down at the sweater, then back up at Lena, a smile adorned her face, "Thank you," she kissed Lena back, getting a tiny bit carried away.

Lena sighed into the kiss, but reluctantly pulled away and leaned her forehead against Kara's, "We're going to be late."

"Who cares?" Kara asked with a goofy smile and shrug of her shoulders, trying to Lena in again for another kiss, but instead finding Lena's fingers against her lips, effectively stopping her approach.

"I don't really care, but I'd rather that our friends don't stare at us with those shit-eating grins."

"Fair enough," Kara pulled away and grabbed her keys, "ready?" she extended a hand for Lena to take.

"Ready," Lena confirmed, taking Kara's hand in her own.

Alex and Maggie were moving to a larger apartment in a few short months, so they opted to host the game night that night because it would likely be the last time everyone would be over at their apartment. So, Kara and Lena arrived a little under thirty minutes later. They took the short elevator ride up to Alex and Maggie's floor before they approached and knocked on the door.

Sam had to fly out to National City for a few days to attend a couple meetings, and since it had been more than a year since she and Ruby had left, Sam had brought Ruby with her. So, as the two approached the front door, they could hear Winn and Ruby exchanging friendly argument about the game they were playing - Mario Kart.

The door promptly swung open after they'd knocked to reveal Alex.

"Hey," Alex greeted the two with a smile as she ushered them inside, giving them each a quick hug as they passed her, "just in time - we're about to send out an order for food. Maggie's calling the pizza place so go tell her what you want."

Kara smiled, she gave Lena a quick kiss on the cheek and told her she'd be right back; and giddy with excitement, she ran over to her sister-in-law to tell her what kind of pizza she wanted. Alex and Lena laughed at Kara's obvious excitement about pizza.

"How are things? With Kara I mean," Alex enquired as her and Lena moved over to the kitchen to grab some drinks.

"Really great," a smile filled with pure happiness spread across Lena's face as she thought about the previous two months.

This didn't go unnoticed by Alex; she was pleased that Lena and Kara were happy with each other and were trusting each other again. "Well, even though Kara is my sister, you can still talk to me about anything. Just because we're sisters, doesn't mean I won't call Kara out for being ridiculous. And, I know that you can also talk to Maggie too."

"Thank you, Alex."

"Of course. You're part of our little-mismatched family now."

Family. Lena hadn't had the most pleasant of experiences with families in her past; the Luthor's were unpleasant at best, and she had very little memories of her biological mother. So, to be told that she was part of such a warm and welcoming family meant so much to her.

The night continued on. Mario Kart started out the night and Monopoly followed soon after. Ruby did quite well, challenging Lena and Sam who were the business experts. Kara was the first to go bankrupt and wound up spending the rest of the game providing financial advice to Lena, even though it wasn't that helpful. The game eventually came to a standoff when Ruby and Lena were the only two left in the game. Ultimately, the two decided that they were both winners and called it a draw because they had no doubt that the game could go on forever. Uno was brought out next, and much to everyone's surprise, Kara managed to bet Alex several times.

Jokes were said and laughs were exchanged. Overall, it was a great night. Eventually, it came to a close though. Winn was the first to announce that he'd be leaving, citing an early shift as his reason, J'onn followed him out, mostly to make sure he got to his cab okay. Ruby and Sam were the next to leave and Kara and Lena followed not long after that. They hailed down a cab and pulled up out front Kara's apartment building a short while later. They walked up to Kara's apartment hand-in-hand as a comfortable silence accompanied them.

Once inside, Kara and Lena dropped unceremoniously onto Kara's couch, leaning against each other as they stared at their joined hands.

"Tonight was fun."

"Yeah, it was pretty great," Kara turned to face Lena, "I mean, beating Alex at Uno for the first time in like, six months _is_ pretty great," they both laughed.

"No but seriously, I had fun, thank you."

"Not a problem," Kara gave Lena what she thought would only be a quick kiss, but it was quickly deepened, by who? Kara had no idea - she was too focused on Lena and what she was doing to her, to know.

It had been two months since their first date, but Lena and Kara hadn't gone any further than very heated make-out sessions - not that that was a bad thing. They knew how they felt about each other, so there was no rush; they would take the next step when they were both ready and when the moment felt right.

They'd both gotten too caught up in each other, so when they did finally separate, they found themselves trying to catch their breaths, and that they moved on the couch so that they were lying down with Kara hovering over Lena.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to get so carried away," Kara started to move away but stopped when she felt Lena tug her back into place.

Nothing was said for a moment. Instead, they both just stared at one another intently as they caught their breath. Kara loved the view of Lena she got from that angle (hovering over her), and she loved that Lena's lipstick was now smudged because of her doing. Kara started to grin like a fool as she watched Lena.

"What?" Lena laughed, "What are you smiling at?"

"You," was Kara's answer, "You're just really pretty."

Lena returned Kara's smile, "You're sweet."

Kara continued to grin and shrugged her shoulders, "I try."

They again found themselves in the middle of an intense kiss, one that carried emotion and a thousand words that would all be said one day.

Kara's hands started to roam, and when she felt Lena move a bit, so Kara could have easier access, Kara pulled away just enough to only have Lena in her field of vision, "Do you want to stop?"

Lena looked into Kara's eyes and saw the honesty of her words and the love she had for her, so to Lena, the answer was clear, "No," Lena pulled Kara back into another heated kiss.

The couch eventually became too small of a space, so Kara shifted so she could easily pick herself and Lena up. She carefully moved herself and Lena over to her bed and placed Lena down with the care and affection that she deserved.

Touches and kisses began to linger and move lower and lower. Feelings of exposure and vulnerability often surfaced in moments like these, but the obvious love and affection that Lena and Kara had for one another meant that there were no feelings of vulnerability. They had been in each other's lives for so long, so they knew that they could hand themselves over and be completely looked after and cared for, without any judgement or anything alike.

Once the pleasurable moans dissipated and breathing steadied out, Lena and Kara were left lying in bed; both laying of their sides and facing one another.

The moonlight peaked in through the blinds in Kara's bedroom, which allowed Lena to see that Kara was again grinning ear to ear at Lena, with a look of awe in her eyes.

"You're smiling," Lena pointed out, a smile spreading across her own face.

"Of course I am," Kara continued to smile as she looked at Lena, "After what we just did, how can I not? Also, that thing you did at the end," Kara used her hands to show that her mind was blown, "That was very cool."

Lena laughed at Kara's antics, "I'm glad you liked it."

"Liked it? I loved it," Kara's tone made her excitement and happiness apparent. "Seriously though," Kara's tone shifted and became more serious, "Are you okay?"

Lena smiled softly at Kara and moved her hand to gently stroke her cheek, "Yeah," she leaned across the small gap between them and placed a careful kiss to Kara's lips.

They feel into a comfortable silence after that, both basking in the afterglow and enjoying the closeness. Eventually, sleep pulled them from the conscious world and their dreams were filled with tender touches and bright smiles.

 

* * *

 

The rays from the early morning sun were just starting to seep in through the blinds on Kara's bedroom window. It would always cast the room into a peaceful and calm environment - the light was soft and the decorations littered throughout the room always had a way of lifting a person spirits.

Kara was the first to wake up. Normally, when she woke up as early as she had, Kara would be annoyed and then roll over to try and get some more sleep, but that wasn't the case when she woke up that morning.

When she woke up, Kara was instantly reminded of the previous night's activities; of lingering touches, soft kisses and many other things. A sleepy smile spread across Kara's face as she watched Lena sleep beside her.

They were both laying on their sides facing each other. One of their hands were each resting in the small space between them. Their hands weren't touching - just resting beside each other - but Kara could still feel the warmth and electricity that came whenever she was close to Lena

Kara moved her hand from it's resting place and moved a loose strand of hair out of Lena's face. The movement woke Lena. Lena's eyes remained closed but a sleepy smile spread across her face.

"Good morning," Kara whispered into the small space between herself and Lena.

"Mmm," Lena sighed into Kara's touch, "Morning," her answer was slightly muffled by the pillow smushed into her face.

"You're really pretty when you're sleeping," Kara said after a comfortable silence had fallen between the pair. "How're you?"

"Good," Lena answered as she opened her eyes, and readjusted her head so she could properly speak and look at Kara, "You?"

"I'm great," Kara beamed as she continued caressing Lena's cheek.

Lena reached up to take Kara's hand in her own and bring it to rest in the space between the two. "So, are we going to talk about the elephant in the room?" Lena asked, slightly becoming self-conscious.

Even though they'd talked about their feelings and had been doing couple-y things for the past month, Lena was still unsure about everything. She'd never had everything seemingly work out the way they were in that moment before, and it was all very new to her.

Kara made a show of putting on a shocked face and sitting up slightly to look around her room. "What elephant?"

They both laughed and Kara returned to her previous position of laying on her side.

"You know what I mean."

"Yeah, but I just wanted to make you laugh," Kara smiled. Kara could see the uncertainty on Lena's face as she watched her. "Come on," she sat up and pulled a shirt on the had been discarded the previous night, "I promised you I'd make you breakfast," she stood up off the bed and extended a warm hand to Lena, "so please let me make you breakfast and we can talk while we do that," she smiled reassuringly.

In spite of everything that had happened and was happening at that moment, Lena still felt unsure. She was just waiting for that other shoe to drop. But she reached out to take Kara's hand and let her pull her up because she knew she could trust Kara. "Okay."

They walked to the kitchen hand-in-hand and only separated when Kara went to start making breakfast and Lena sat at one of the stools at the kitchen island.

"So," Lena began once both she and Kara had sat down at the table to enjoy their breakfast, "we had sex."

Kara smiled, because how could she not? "We did."

"And we've been dating for two months."

"We have," Kara continued to smile.

"So, what happens now?"

"Well," Kara set down her cutlery and took gently took one of Lena's hands in her own, "I would love it if I could call you my girlfriend," there was a smile across Kara's face, but if you looked close enough, you could see a hint of insecurity.

Lena squeezed Kara's hand, "Okay, but only if I can call you my girlfriend."

"I think I can live with that," all insecurity left Kara, and a lovestruck grin spread across her face as she leaned over to give Lena a kiss.

After they'd finished eating breakfast Kara insisted on cleaning everything up, much to Lena's slight annoyance.

As Kara stood in her kitchen, she looked out at her apartment and watched as Lena sat on the couch and flicked through a book she'd left on the coffee table. Kara smiled at the sight. She finally had everything she wanted, she didn't feel like the city hated Supergirl, she was making excellent progress in becoming a well-respected and notable reporter, and she got to call the incredible Lena Luthor her girlfriend.

Kara couldn't help but admire the sun's rays that were trickling in through the window, giving the space a lively and happy vibe. The sunlight was outlining the colour and cheeriness of her outlandish and eccentric furnishings. Her apartment no longer felt dark and gloomy like it had all those months ago. Everything felt right in that moment, and Kara knew, then and there, that this is what she wanted - now and forever.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you all enjoyed this chapter and the story; I had fun writing it. Thanks so much for sticking around 'till the end. I have a couple of stories in the works, but they probably won't be ready for a while. Thanks again for reading :)


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